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06-28-2007 10:35 AM
I am sorry.
I should not have written "it" to you or anyone else.
If you have suffered then I am also sorry for that also.
I am a vampire, I know that now. I am strange and weird and its best for everyone if I just leave here.
If I have posted anything that has hurt anyone then I am truly sorry. I did not mean to hurt anyone. Maybe writing is a right but its not one that I choose to exercise anymore.
Church teaches that you should love your enemy and show them your other cheek so here is my other cheek. Do with it as you will.
Am I doing this because I want out of this?
Yes because I don't want to hurt anyone. There is enough pain without me adding to it further. Every time I come here I risk hurting and I don't want to do that anymore, I really don't.
I am in no position to judge anyone.
I did not mean to manipulate but thats no excuse for my behavior.
I lay down my guns at your feet and get on my hands and knees to crawl for forgiveness.
I dropped my mom off at the airport this morning and she was crying . I hate making people cry and hurting.
I am not intelligent enough to write, I don't think clearly but this is not about me. Its about what I have done and said to you. All of you.
I am sorry.
I should not have written "it" to you or anyone else.
If you have suffered then I am also sorry for that also.
I am a vampire, I know that now. I am strange and weird and its best for everyone if I just leave here.
If I have posted anything that has hurt anyone then I am truly sorry. I did not mean to hurt anyone. Maybe writing is a right but its not one that I choose to exercise anymore.
Church teaches that you should love your enemy and show them your other cheek so here is my other cheek. Do with it as you will.
Am I doing this because I want out of this?
Yes because I don't want to hurt anyone. There is enough pain without me adding to it further. Every time I come here I risk hurting and I don't want to do that anymore, I really don't.
I am in no position to judge anyone.
I did not mean to manipulate but thats no excuse for my behavior.
I lay down my guns at your feet and get on my hands and knees to crawl for forgiveness.
I dropped my mom off at the airport this morning and she was crying . I hate making people cry and hurting.
I am not intelligent enough to write, I don't think clearly but this is not about me. Its about what I have done and said to you. All of you.
06-21-2007 04:56 AM
HAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHA
HAHAHA
Laughter the best medicine for those who do not have the guts to follow their own rules.
HAHAHAHAHA
I crack myself up.
BAN ME?
Under what law?
HAHAHAHA
I am crazy
HAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHA
HAHAHA
Laughter the best medicine for those who do not have the guts to follow their own rules.
HAHAHAHAHA
I crack myself up.
BAN ME?
Under what law?
HAHAHAHA
I am crazy
06-13-2007 09:26 AM
Backseat drivers are a pain in the butt!
I am one of the worst passengers in the world as my brother approaches a stop light, I cringe and get ready to yell out.
Sometimes I do yell out in haste, out of fear for my own safety.
This is because I don't trust him. I am not in control of the vehicle therefore I do not feel safe.
I mean, its dumb really. He's my brother, he would not intentionally hurt me. I relearned this very recently. Not everyone is out to get me. Not being able to trust my brother made me realize that in other areas of my life, I do not have "trust" or "faith" in other people.
This is wrong. I am wrong. I suck, truly.
I should at least give them a chance and even if they mis-use that trust once before,
they deserve to be forgiven AND trusted time and time again.
I hate it when I have a passenger in my car that does not trust my driving skills
(and they probably have real reason to fear as I haven't been driving that long).
Also, really a test of trust is a test of faith in essence, one of which I have failed miserably.
I am going to be a better backseat driver and have faith in whoever is chauffeur be they my husband, brother or a stranger whom I can hurt with MY mis-trust and If we get into a crash?
At least we would have made some memories .
Backseat drivers are a pain in the butt!
I am one of the worst passengers in the world as my brother approaches a stop light, I cringe and get ready to yell out.
Sometimes I do yell out in haste, out of fear for my own safety.
This is because I don't trust him. I am not in control of the vehicle therefore I do not feel safe.
I mean, its dumb really. He's my brother, he would not intentionally hurt me. I relearned this very recently. Not everyone is out to get me. Not being able to trust my brother made me realize that in other areas of my life, I do not have "trust" or "faith" in other people.
This is wrong. I am wrong. I suck, truly.
I should at least give them a chance and even if they mis-use that trust once before,
they deserve to be forgiven AND trusted time and time again.
I hate it when I have a passenger in my car that does not trust my driving skills
(and they probably have real reason to fear as I haven't been driving that long).
Also, really a test of trust is a test of faith in essence, one of which I have failed miserably.
I am going to be a better backseat driver and have faith in whoever is chauffeur be they my husband, brother or a stranger whom I can hurt with MY mis-trust and If we get into a crash?
At least we would have made some memories .
06-01-2007 06:25 PM
An Insightful Memorial Day for me.
I am feeling sore after being involved in a wreck this weekend. This is what happens when you fuck about with strangers. I took a damn fine beating. Don’t worry though; I am not dead, just injured and cut to bits.
Healing takes time. Beginning with this account of events because through curing comes meditation.
Lessons that concern one are the hardest to learn. You need a good teacher, which I had. At times I feel just about ready to quit but I don’t want to quit, get better is what I want. So I just lie here, reflect, heal and then proceed slowly.
It was my own doing as I was driving blind into the sun. Distracted by something on the radio. Not paying much mind to the signs and those in the backseat. I didn’t care to use my mirrors at all. Talking on your cell phone and listening to the radio really does impair your concentration skills!
Talk shows claiming to improve your “quality of life” can lull you into a drunken state. A tempting sidetrack to what you are supposed to be doing and that is driving attentively or TCB as Elvis would say.
A car, an older sports car (probably a Cobra considering their venom) came at me head on. Avoiding me at first as I veered all over the place. The person behind the wheel got real pissed off and came back around to show me what they were capable of.
A gleam of brilliant sunlight bounced off the windshield and hit my eyes. I had never seen ANYTHING like this before. A hood whacked me so hard that I was knocked off the road.
I span out of control and things happened so fast and I was so dreamily impaired that I didn’t think clearly. So I slowly pulled my truck off the highway and onto the side of the road to get out of the way of oncoming traffic.
Shook the crap out of me, actually. My senses tuned back in as I became more alert to what was going on. Sat behind the wheel, shaking from head to foot and looking into the road through bleary eyes.
Crying tears of anger, frustration, fear and loss. I was angry with the other driver; frightened I might not be able to get home and lost. Just totally lost, not knowing where the hell I was. I cursed for not paying attention.
In England, we call this kind of behavior “Driving without Due Care and Attention” and you can go to jail for such an offense.
I have never driven in UK. But this is NO excuse for not being on my side of the road. I was joyriding and veering all over the place in an intoxicated state. Generally, being a pest to everyone else on the road. This “fun pastime” distracted me from my REAL GOAL of being a really good driver. Whatever I was doing before the crash doesn’t really matter anymore.
This Memorial Day will be one to remember for me as, I am sure, is what my assailant intended. I am actually thankful to the evil son-of-a-bitch that ran me of the road. If they hadn’t come along, there could have been some real calamities ahead.
Amazing, how you can be thankful to someone who intentionally hurt you. Never thought that was possible but even in the confusion of accidents there is compassionate clarity.
So you wont make the same mistakes, let me tell you some of the lessons I have learnt and suggestions for future reference:
Don’t drink and drive.
This can be especially hazardous if the substance is fresh in your system. At this point, you are most manipulated by its lulling powers. Even a hangover can impair your driving.
Stay out of the way.
If you see someone hazardous, swerve to miss, even if they are drawing lots of attention to themselves. You don’t need to prove you are a good driver. Others will see this, if you are indeed a high-quality, determined operator.
Stay Focused.
Don’t allow yourself to be distracted by effects on the side of the road, radio, etc.
You need to think about the job in hand and make sure you are safe.
Pay particular attention to the passengers of your vehicle.
If your passengers need something, promptly pull over at the nearest rest stop. Your trip maybe longer as a result but you won’t be distracted by screams and demands. If they inform you are driving badly or that something is wrong, don’t just brush them off. They could be right.
Hone your driving skills and maintain your vehicle
Read the operating manual and be courteous to all.
Look at your vehicle. Is it safe? Combustion under pressure can be fatal. Check tires and all systems, do they flow? Do they work? I don’t need to re-iterate what’s already common knowledge for most. If you are not quite sure what to look for then read up or let a mechanic take a look before taking the road. I am no mechanic. I am not going to pretend anymore that I know all about vehicles but I do intend to learn about the workings of mine so if something fails, I know how to fix it.
Alcohol is not evil.
A common misconception but the people who misuse the “drink” are. They will not take the blame for anything, even for their addictive nature. Alcoholics before have injured me. My stepmother beat the crap out of me when I was twelve and couldn’t remember a damned thing about what she had done. The worst of these people are the ones who claim to be “cured” of their thirst. Prone to crankiness and unexplainable malice, you never quite know when they are going to strike and they too get behind the wheel.
This may sound crazy or even stupid but the person that hit me cared enough to shake me up so thoroughly. Even if their intentions were selfishness, truth is, I was driving badly. Operating under the influence of an addictive substance that I couldn’t get out of my system. Hard to admit at first, there is a problem.
I was lucky. I don’t know if the other driver got hurt. How many others could I have hurt, if I hadn’t been stopped? Maybe this is something I need to apologize for? I don’t know what lies ahead. Although, from the way I was driving, the whole of the traffic on the road probably won’t come anywhere near me again and who can blame them?
Road rage is aggressive behavior which leads to a ban on driving altogether like I have said, I was lucky. Whoever you are, thank you, for belting the shit out of me when everyone else steered clear.
You truly are a hero.
An Insightful Memorial Day for me.
I am feeling sore after being involved in a wreck this weekend. This is what happens when you fuck about with strangers. I took a damn fine beating. Don’t worry though; I am not dead, just injured and cut to bits.
Healing takes time. Beginning with this account of events because through curing comes meditation.
Lessons that concern one are the hardest to learn. You need a good teacher, which I had. At times I feel just about ready to quit but I don’t want to quit, get better is what I want. So I just lie here, reflect, heal and then proceed slowly.
It was my own doing as I was driving blind into the sun. Distracted by something on the radio. Not paying much mind to the signs and those in the backseat. I didn’t care to use my mirrors at all. Talking on your cell phone and listening to the radio really does impair your concentration skills!
Talk shows claiming to improve your “quality of life” can lull you into a drunken state. A tempting sidetrack to what you are supposed to be doing and that is driving attentively or TCB as Elvis would say.
A car, an older sports car (probably a Cobra considering their venom) came at me head on. Avoiding me at first as I veered all over the place. The person behind the wheel got real pissed off and came back around to show me what they were capable of.
A gleam of brilliant sunlight bounced off the windshield and hit my eyes. I had never seen ANYTHING like this before. A hood whacked me so hard that I was knocked off the road.
I span out of control and things happened so fast and I was so dreamily impaired that I didn’t think clearly. So I slowly pulled my truck off the highway and onto the side of the road to get out of the way of oncoming traffic.
Shook the crap out of me, actually. My senses tuned back in as I became more alert to what was going on. Sat behind the wheel, shaking from head to foot and looking into the road through bleary eyes.
Crying tears of anger, frustration, fear and loss. I was angry with the other driver; frightened I might not be able to get home and lost. Just totally lost, not knowing where the hell I was. I cursed for not paying attention.
In England, we call this kind of behavior “Driving without Due Care and Attention” and you can go to jail for such an offense.
I have never driven in UK. But this is NO excuse for not being on my side of the road. I was joyriding and veering all over the place in an intoxicated state. Generally, being a pest to everyone else on the road. This “fun pastime” distracted me from my REAL GOAL of being a really good driver. Whatever I was doing before the crash doesn’t really matter anymore.
This Memorial Day will be one to remember for me as, I am sure, is what my assailant intended. I am actually thankful to the evil son-of-a-bitch that ran me of the road. If they hadn’t come along, there could have been some real calamities ahead.
Amazing, how you can be thankful to someone who intentionally hurt you. Never thought that was possible but even in the confusion of accidents there is compassionate clarity.
So you wont make the same mistakes, let me tell you some of the lessons I have learnt and suggestions for future reference:
Don’t drink and drive.
This can be especially hazardous if the substance is fresh in your system. At this point, you are most manipulated by its lulling powers. Even a hangover can impair your driving.
Stay out of the way.
If you see someone hazardous, swerve to miss, even if they are drawing lots of attention to themselves. You don’t need to prove you are a good driver. Others will see this, if you are indeed a high-quality, determined operator.
Stay Focused.
Don’t allow yourself to be distracted by effects on the side of the road, radio, etc.
You need to think about the job in hand and make sure you are safe.
Pay particular attention to the passengers of your vehicle.
If your passengers need something, promptly pull over at the nearest rest stop. Your trip maybe longer as a result but you won’t be distracted by screams and demands. If they inform you are driving badly or that something is wrong, don’t just brush them off. They could be right.
Hone your driving skills and maintain your vehicle
Read the operating manual and be courteous to all.
Look at your vehicle. Is it safe? Combustion under pressure can be fatal. Check tires and all systems, do they flow? Do they work? I don’t need to re-iterate what’s already common knowledge for most. If you are not quite sure what to look for then read up or let a mechanic take a look before taking the road. I am no mechanic. I am not going to pretend anymore that I know all about vehicles but I do intend to learn about the workings of mine so if something fails, I know how to fix it.
Alcohol is not evil.
A common misconception but the people who misuse the “drink” are. They will not take the blame for anything, even for their addictive nature. Alcoholics before have injured me. My stepmother beat the crap out of me when I was twelve and couldn’t remember a damned thing about what she had done. The worst of these people are the ones who claim to be “cured” of their thirst. Prone to crankiness and unexplainable malice, you never quite know when they are going to strike and they too get behind the wheel.
This may sound crazy or even stupid but the person that hit me cared enough to shake me up so thoroughly. Even if their intentions were selfishness, truth is, I was driving badly. Operating under the influence of an addictive substance that I couldn’t get out of my system. Hard to admit at first, there is a problem.
I was lucky. I don’t know if the other driver got hurt. How many others could I have hurt, if I hadn’t been stopped? Maybe this is something I need to apologize for? I don’t know what lies ahead. Although, from the way I was driving, the whole of the traffic on the road probably won’t come anywhere near me again and who can blame them?
Road rage is aggressive behavior which leads to a ban on driving altogether like I have said, I was lucky. Whoever you are, thank you, for belting the shit out of me when everyone else steered clear.
You truly are a hero.
05-25-2007 11:23 AM
A bird was never supposed to be caged.
One who committed this crime was fearful that he might lose that which he needed to see everyday. Remember it's harder to cage a flock.
You know its funny but individualism is a big thing in the US right now. You can have a personal computer, a personal cell phone, you can individualize just about anything.
That is until you look at just whats bubbling underneath the surface, individualism on someone else's terms. If you really want something that is truly yours, you are not allowed. Access denied.
You have this option or this option and thats it buddy.
But what if I want this?
Well we can't do that.
I was in a restaurant recently and I ordered a glass of milk, The waitress told me that was only on the children's menu.
So I look at the waitress and told her in earnest that I was a little girl really with big boobs. She was shocked but not as much as I was.
I pointed out that since they have milk in the kitchen and a glass behind the bar, Why in Christ's name couldn't she bring me a glass of milk?
"Well its not on the menu so I can't do it"
I told her that the name on this restaurant wasn't on my visa so I couldn't dine here and promptly left.
I went to a little Hispanic restaurant and had Endchildas with a glass of effin milk!
A bird was never supposed to be caged.
One who committed this crime was fearful that he might lose that which he needed to see everyday. Remember it's harder to cage a flock.
You know its funny but individualism is a big thing in the US right now. You can have a personal computer, a personal cell phone, you can individualize just about anything.
That is until you look at just whats bubbling underneath the surface, individualism on someone else's terms. If you really want something that is truly yours, you are not allowed. Access denied.
You have this option or this option and thats it buddy.
But what if I want this?
Well we can't do that.
I was in a restaurant recently and I ordered a glass of milk, The waitress told me that was only on the children's menu.
So I look at the waitress and told her in earnest that I was a little girl really with big boobs. She was shocked but not as much as I was.
I pointed out that since they have milk in the kitchen and a glass behind the bar, Why in Christ's name couldn't she bring me a glass of milk?
"Well its not on the menu so I can't do it"
I told her that the name on this restaurant wasn't on my visa so I couldn't dine here and promptly left.
I went to a little Hispanic restaurant and had Endchildas with a glass of effin milk!
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