Contest Results | Fiction | Tall Tale (November 2006)

[Icarus]

The results are in….

And after some tight competition, the winner is Gloriana by gary_wagner. Congrats Gary!


Here is the final order of finish:
1. gary_wagner – 17, 16, 15, 16.5, 19 – 16.7
2. JohnnyREB1977 – 14, 16, 16.5, 18, 17 – 16.3
3. arrankine – 15, 15, 16, 14, 15 – 15
4. Geoffrey Robson -12, 14, 12, 13, 15 – 13.2


Judges Comments:

Originally Posted by Cordatus

Member: Geoffrey Robson.
Title: THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY

Mechanics: 3/5
Intangibles: 3/5
Overall impression: 6/10

Comments: Even though the concept is reiterated with a distinctively peculiar narration, this piece has a rather organized sequence of events, especially within the frame of the word limit. The flow is cutoff by the absence of the comma at many places, and the tone is unclear through the abundant wording. Overall, this piece can be greatly improved if rewritten.

Score: 12/20

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Member: JohnnyREB1977
Title: The Story of Johnny Reb

Mechanics: 3/5
Intangibles: 4/5
Overall impression: 7/10

Comments: This piece has a smart beginning, which captures the readers and absorbs them in. The mechanical aspects are fine, except for a few minor errors involving the structure of sentences and punctuation. The choice of words was good, and the flow was fine except for a few places that stuck out. Nevertheless, this piece can be enhanced if made simpler, with less wording complexities.

Score: 14/20

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Member: gary_wagner
Title: Gloriana

Mechanics: 4/5
Intangibles: 4/5
Overall impression: 9/10

Comments: Loved it! The classical beginning of the piece is well devised, making the tone more consistent. With an effective choice of words and minor mechanical errors, the flow was excellent and uninterrupted. The use of imagery is very good, adding color to the style of writing. The plot is solid, and the character build of "Rufus" is admirable.

Score: 17/20

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Member: aarankine
Title: Around the Campfire, or the Docent’s Tale

Mechanics: 3/5
Intangibles: 4/5
Overall impression: 8/10

Comments: The narration of this piece is rather interesting. The interaction with the audience [not the readers] establishes a connection between fiction and realism, which is something the reader can identify with. The excess use of periods is annoying, as it cut the flow at some places. The tone of the author was visible throughout the piece, and the style is ‘thoroughbred’ as well.

Score: 15/20

Originally Posted by starpanda

Member: Geoffrey Robson
Title: The one that got away

Mechanics:3/5
Intangibles: 4/5
Overall impression:7/10

Comments: This member has a great writers imagination, but yet again his lack of technical ability lets him down, and he is in desperate need of instruction comma use and paragraph seperation. Despite this, the story flowed well and it had some great description. The overall tone was very good.

Score:14/10


Member: JohnnyREB
Title: The story of Johnny Reb

Mechanics:4/5
Intangibles:4/5
Overall impression:8/5

Comments: I'm not sure how politically correct this story is (LOL), but the writing is excellent. It has good pace throughout, the tone is excellent and in the true spirit of a tall tale. The descriptions are also excellent and some of the symbolic correlations are very well done indeed

Score:16/20


Member: gary_wagner
Title: Gloriana

Mechanics:4/5
Intangibles: 4/5
Overall impression:8/5

Comments: Okay, I know I'm a woman who is fast approaching that age where the hormones go awry (and I don't mean puberty), but I did get very choked at this. I found the whole story very touching. There were some great descriptions and the structure was generally well done. The tone and style was in the true definition of a tall tale with good pace throughout. the only thing that let it down was i wasn't sure whether gary was referring to Autumn or Spring, or neither!!! So would have benefitted from a little bit more clarity

Score:16/10


Member: arrankine
Title: Around the Campfire, or a Docent's Tale

Mechanics:4/5
Intangibles: 3.5/5
Overall impression:7.5/10

Comments: A very amusing tale, with several 'Tall tale' elements and in the appropriate tone. However, I did find the style and 'voice' a little irritating after a while. Again some great descriptions and imaginative correlations.

Score:15/20

Originally Posted by Icarus

Member: Geoffrey Robson
Title: The One That Got Away

Mechanics: 3/5
Intangibles: 3/5
Overall Impression: 6/10

Score: 12/20

The key to a tall tale is that it can’t be believed. Yours, however, sounded too much like the typical fisherman’s tale about “the one that got away.” It wasn’t quite fanciful enough, in my opinion. This also needs some work in regards to comma use. Try throwing in more exaggeration and imagination and see what you come up with.


Member: JohnnyREB1977
Title: The Story of Johnny Reb

Mechanics: 4/5
Intangibles: 4.5/5
Overall Impression: 8/10

Score: 16.5/20

Though not with the most innocent of intentions, this has all the markings of a classic tall tale and was great fun to read. The exaggerated descriptions and the seemingly titanic nature of the characters and battles reminded me of the stories of Paul Bunyan and Pecos Bill, and the moralistic ending, however contentious it might be, fits with the genre as well. Well done!


Member: gary wagner
Title: Gloriana

Mechanics: 4/5
Intangibles: 4/5
Overall Impression: 7/10

Score: 15/20

The word choice and style of this piece are very much in the vein of the tall tale, so well done on that. I think this could have been better if only one natural phenomenon were explained, rather than two (i.e. salty ocean and changing leaves) – and since the coloring of the leaves is the more moving one, I would suggest you leave out the ocean bit.


Member: arrankine
Title: Around the Campfire, or the Docent's Tale

Mechanics: 4/5
Intangibles: 4/5
Overall Impression: 8/10

Score: 16/20

Great exaggeration - this tale has a reall "tallness" to it. My main gripe is the amount of interaction with the audience. It was very amusing at times and helped establish the proper tone, but I think you used it a bit excessively. Try cutting some of that down and see if the flow of the piece improves.

Originally Posted by aprilrain

Member: Geoffrey Robson
Title: The one that got away

Mechanics:3/5
Intangibles: 3/5
Overall impression:7/10

Comments: I think this easily could have began with the paragraph that reads “I was about ten knots north…” The text before that describes a man with Casanova-type abilities, but not rising to the level of a tall tale hero or pertaining to the ultimate struggle in the story. Once the action began, though, I thought it was tense and well-paced. The mechanics need some work, and I think this lies upon the cusp of a tall tale (the saving grace being the size of the “monster” he was fighting), but overall a good read.

Score:13/20


Member: JohnnyREB
Title: The story of Johnny Reb

Mechanics:5/5
Intangibles:4/5
Overall impression:9/5

Comments: This was truly enjoyable, and I loved the meshing of ordinary traits with wild exaggeration. The flow and storytelling quality of the language was flawless. The fact that it can be read on many levels is always a plus for me--the reader can simply enjoy the fanciful tale, or they can read the political metaphor apparent in the names. Very clever.

Score:18/20


Member: gary_wagner
Title: Gloriana

Mechanics:4.5/5
Intangibles: 4/5
Overall impression:8/5

Comments: This is a beautifully written story with all the necessary elements. The love for his daughter, the depth of despair, the need for recovery--all nicely conveyed in an exaggerated fantasy world that provides answers for not only the oceans, but the changing of leaves’ colors as well. Well done.

Score:16.5/20


Member: arrankine
Title: Around the Campfire, or a Docent's Tale

Mechanics:3.5/5
Intangibles: 3.5/5
Overall impression:7/10

Comments: I enjoyed this and laughed out loud when you questioned the bears’ distaste for Elizabethan poetry. This is a story that certainly meets the criteria of exaggerated traits and abilities in the hero. I was put off by the constant interruption, though. On one hand, I could clearly see the old, crotchety man telling the story and backtalking to the children, but on the other hand, it constantly pulled me away from the story. Remove a few of those incidents and you’ll have a better piece.

Score:14/20

Originally Posted by OnceUponATime

My scores for the November Fiction Contest:

Member: Geoffrey Robson
Title: The One That Got Away
Mechanics: 5
Intangibles: 3
Overall Impression: 7
Comments: Nicely written, and though I have a hard time getting into seafaring tales, this one grabbed my attention and held it all the way through. Nice job!
Score: 15
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Member: Johnny Reb1977
Title: The Story of Johnny Reb
Mechanics: 4
Intangibles: 4
Overall Impression: 9
Comments: I enjoyed this read, liked the 'old timey' feel to the narrative voice and thought the story was done very much like a 'Tall Tale.' A winner in my book!
Score: 17
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Member: Gary_Wagner
Title: Gloriana
Mechanics: 5
Intangibles: 5
Overall Impression: 9
Comments: Loved this piece - a fitting 'explanation' for autumn's beautiful deciduous coloration. The characters are bigger-than-life and the tale itself very 'tall'- and wonderfully told. Terrific writing
Score: 19
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Member: Aarankine
Title: Around the Campfire or The Docent's Tale
Mechanics: 4
Intangibles: 4
Overall Impression: 7
Comments: Wow the submissions are excellent this month! I liked this one as well, especially the narrative voice. The story flowed nicely and the only reservation I had was that the 'tallness' of the tale wasn't as mind-boggling as I'd like. But still, an excellent read. Nice work!
Score: 15-
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Great stuff!

The judges would like to thank all participants and note the high quality of November's submissions. Keep up the great writing!

Thank you judges and fellow contestants. It was some stiff competition this month as all of these were really good stories. I was a little worried that I drifted off into more of a fairy tale than a tall tale but was glad to hear that I was able to keep enough elements of both to qualify.

[aarankine]

Congratulations, Gary, and thank you to the judges who obviously put a lot of time and attention into their work. Thanks for the recommendations about reducing the interruptions--I was wondering about that. :-)