Originally Posted by iDrew
Hun, humour me. Experiment by writing it in 1st person or even a combination of 1st and 3rd. In my opinion you have a distance that possibly you want the concept to posses, but it feels like a disconnected distance. Does that make any sense?
it feels like a disconnected distance........Perhaps that was what the old guy was feeling? Can't change the structure or meaning of it Drew. It comes out in what form it arrives at. It made sense.