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Ghost Challenge Life is Terror

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  #1  
Old 10-28-2014, 05:55 PM
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Default Ghost Challenge Life is Terror


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  #2  
Old 10-29-2014, 06:11 AM
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Just to explain, the Prompt & Challenges section has its own rules which summarise to make a new thread for each entry, stating the challenge/prompt/etc number/name and the works title in the thread description. As such I have split of the two entries so far into their own threads.
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Last edited by Tau; 10-29-2014 at 06:16 AM..
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  #3  
Old 11-01-2014, 01:19 AM
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This was some kind of genius. I realized about halfway through reading this that I was holding my breath. Your language and the length of your paragraphs as well as your syntax are a great compliment to your story. There is a sense of repetition, but it reads like a hearbeat to me (thump-thump), it kept the action moving forward when the narrator was mostly in stasis, it was very ingenious. Even the ending took me by surprise, and honestly it made me realease the breath I had been holding during the rest of the work. Great job on placing your reader in the story and thank you for the great thrill.
So what is our next project? Would love to continue collaborating with you!
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Old 12-18-2014, 02:07 AM
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I have to agree with Queen, I was entranced with the life beat of the story, and surprised by the ending. This is so geniously written!
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Old 02-13-2016, 02:03 AM
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and this is very good too. there are some missing commas: "Too late my mom notices." that's just one example, and while it does read like a book, it is a short story. very nicely done!

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  #6  
Old 03-14-2016, 08:16 AM
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Default Life is Terror

WOW! My heart is still racing. I was totally caught up in the ghost and didn't want it to end but it did, which is probably a good thing. Thanks for the fun. miki
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