WritersBeat.com
 

Go Back   WritersBeat.com > Writing Craft > Writing Help & Issues > Character Clinics

Character Clinics Come and discover new things about your characters


King Napoleon

Reply
 
Thread Tools
  #1  
Old 10-16-2013, 08:01 PM
Eddy Rod-Kubry's Avatar
Eddy Rod-Kubry (Offline)
Copyist
Official Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 51
Thanks: 12
Thanks 2
Default King Napoleon


Saluti. God's peace be with you. My name is Napoleon, and I am King.

My full style and titles are as follows: His Holy and Royal Majesty Napoleon Dragonheart The First Des Astrae and Valverens-Burgognoi, By the Grace of God, and by Divine Providence, King of Sericana, of the Freijyland and of Casardur, Siyasahi of Kubdallahli and of Fhad, and of their realms and territories, Heir to the Nemansh Potestate, Protector of the Englightened and Universal Church of Sericana and Casardur, Defender of the Faith, Keeper of the Peace, King of Kings, King of Mortal Men, King of Lions, King of Honey and Grape, King of Sedge and Bee, King of the Moon and Lord of the Siber, Envoy of God.

Yes its long, and at first I didn't want it, but I've come to embrace it, as I have many things.

I'm young, perhaps too young to be King, but I didn't choose it. Supposedly, God chose me. I wasn't even born here, in this world. Unknown forces brought me here, and these people proclaimed me King, saying I was the one who was promised, the one who would restore their monarchy, their nation and their prosperity. It's tough trying to do that, but luckily, I am not alone.

My two best friends, the only ones allowed to joke with me and criticize me have been instrumental. They are Felix Sarelius and Justin Sardus, Marshal and Chancellor, respectively. I love them, in a non sexual way, but don't tell them that.

They were vital in keeping me in the throne. You see there was a conspiracy to overthrow me, a couple of years after I became King, vile enterprise led by traitorous, ungrateful noblemen who longed for the days without monarch, when they would rule this country and strip it of its wealth. I was even going to marry one of their daughters, Talena Fortunata.

She was beautiful and I was infatuated with her, foolishly, for she never felt anything for me. She had a lover, and when I found out, I was devastated. So we didn't marry, and the conspirators had to strike quickly, which triggered the events dubbed The Tragedy of Ventorial the 13th, when they tried to kill me and seize power.

Felix, then a legate, refused to obey the corrupt army leadership and rallied his soldiers to defend me, arresting many of the conspirators and quickly amassing support for my cause in one swift movement. Justin fought too, then merely my squire, and he was left crippled, forever losing mobility in his left leg.

Both were properly rewarding. The Tragedy changed me forever. I became ruthless, colder, and Talena's betrayal made me angry towards women. I've never killed one, but I've many of them pay for something they didn't do. I feel like there's so much more left to happen, and I just pray God gives me strength. For we are at war now, and I fear its only a prologue to something larger.


Note: (This is my first character clinic and I hope I did it right. Should I have added anything more? Thanks)

Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 10-17-2013, 07:38 PM
risk10 (Offline)
Scribbling Master
Official Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 778
Thanks: 163
Thanks 278
Default

OK King Fancy Pants,

Where were you originally from? What brought you to this new world? What is the world called?

You say God chose you, then it was unknown forces? Which is it man? Be decisive. Also, why did your beloved people want to kill you? Did you fart on them or something?

And why didn't you just take Talena, arent' you the Big Boss Man King with that great big long title with all those names in it that goes on longer than the Bourissa Munchengladbach cheer squad? You're king, can't you do what you want?

PS: Yeah, these things are pretty free range. It's all about development here. I find it has been useful for my characters anyway.

TAKE THE RISK
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 10-17-2013, 08:30 PM
Eddy Rod-Kubry's Avatar
Eddy Rod-Kubry (Offline)
Copyist
Official Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 51
Thanks: 12
Thanks 2
Default

Originally Posted by risk10 View Post
OK King Fancy Pants,

Where were you originally from? What brought you to this new world? What is the world called?

You say God chose you, then it was unknown forces? Which is it man? Be decisive. Also, why did your beloved people want to kill you? Did you fart on them or something?

And why didn't you just take Talena, arent' you the Big Boss Man King with that great big long title with all those names in it that goes on longer than the Bourissa Munchengladbach cheer squad? You're king, can't you do what you want?

PS: Yeah, these things are pretty free range. It's all about development here. I find it has been useful for my characters anyway.

TAKE THE RISK
First of all, I don't like your insolence. I'll let it pass though. I don't like speaking about my home, I've never really done it and people around me know better than to ask. According to the prophecy, I was chosen by God, but I've never met him, so I really don't know if it was God who brought me here. I don't know what this world is called, they just call it "The World".

Actually it wasn't my people to tried to kill me, it was a small circle of noblemen. My people supported me that day, attacking the traitor forces wherever they found them. I did take Talena, after the conspiracy was put down, but not as a wife. Her father, the former Chancellor, tried to take her out of the country, to hide her in the Helade, but my soldiers hunted her down and caught her. She is now a slave. Her family is nearly extint too, so yes, I did what I wanted.

I appeared on this world one day, on rocback, from the clouds. I went to sleep in my world and when I woke this huge bird was carrying me down from the skies, to a city. So it all began.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 12-01-2013, 07:06 AM
Beaviz81's Avatar
Beaviz81 (Offline)
Scribbler
Official Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Norway
Posts: 34
Thanks: 1
Thanks 4
Default

I find it odd that a king should say he is too young to be a king. I made a similar character myself. He never felt that his birthright was something he was too young for. Rather that it was about damn time he reclaimed his throne when he did, so that I found odd.

What are you implying about your character when it comes to women? He is a rapist? Well then you need some more misogyny there in my opinion, or at least flat out disregard like maybe he should think women are really stupid or evil.

Also I'm skeptical about him trusting Felix with anything, he is a turncoat. Turncoats are best amply rewarded and spied upon (but then again I can be influenced by the viewpoints of my chars).
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 12-01-2013, 11:31 AM
Ilseum's Avatar
Ilseum (Offline)
Fantastic Little Fox
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: In my own little world, surrounded by foxes
Posts: 4,973
Thanks: 428
Thanks 633
Default

Hello, Napoleon. An honour to meet you, I am sure. Let me ask you a couple of questions.

What do you think of other people?
What do you think other people think of you?
Why is the sky blue?
What is your favourite season?
Your favourite vegetable?
__________________
Get your philosophy from a bumper sticker
- GD
Reply With Quote
Reply

  WritersBeat.com > Writing Craft > Writing Help & Issues > Character Clinics


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Dragon Lover Part 12: As Third World As It Gets (Language and Content) Rooster Smith Fiction 4 02-15-2013 07:40 PM
Dragon Lover: Part 1 ( Adult language and content ) Rooster Smith Fiction 22 09-23-2012 02:07 AM
Dragon Lover: Part 4 ( Language and Content ) Rooster Smith Fiction 14 09-08-2012 02:17 PM
King Firefly's Mercy Cityboy Fiction 8 05-06-2009 05:28 AM


All times are GMT -8. The time now is 01:13 PM.

vBulletin, Copyright © 2000-2006, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.