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  #1  
Old 01-17-2013, 05:57 PM
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Mr. Pierce?

Oh. Hello, Nick. This is unexpected.
Are you allright?

Well, Mr. Pierce, I think I need some advice.

Oh. About what?

It's that I was listening to the President recently. One time he was talking about how his views on relationships are "evolving". And, in another address to us, how the world is changing. And how our responsibilities need to keep up.

Okay. And?

Well, awhile back a fella in Alaska- I wrote about this- he shot and killed a bear that approached him. When the bear was autopsied it was discovered he had no fat whatsoever. He was starving.

Yes. And?

Recently I was reading about a guy in Colorado who shot and killed a bear that was in his two room cabin with him. Uninvited.

So?

So when the bear was examined he was found to be blind in one eye, lame and almost toothless.

Your point?

My point is neither of these critters could fend successfully in the wild.

And when they came to mankind for help they were murdered.


Nick?

Mr. Pierce, I've been seeing ads showing how animals should recieve some of the considerations that humans give each other.

Well, Nick, I'm not so sure that means...

Mr. Pierce- I'm not saying they should be given free room and board in their sunset years.

My goodness. That's a relief. What are you saying?

In the spirit of changing times and evolving vison I would like to see them a little less defenseless as they attempt to feed.

Excuse me?

If they were provided some way to protect theirselves, as their natural abilities declined, then at least two innocent critters, two of nature's children, would, perhaps, still be alive.


Nick- you're not suggesting it would be right to arm bears, are you?

Of course not, Mr. Pierce.
But I would support more discussion on the issue of their safety.


Nick- I...uhhh...let me digest this.
I will get back to you.

Okay, Mr. Pierce. Thanks. Next time I would also like to talk about how cows and chickens are being treated by society.
Oh, and fish, too.


Last edited by Nick Pierce; 01-18-2013 at 05:14 AM..
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Old 01-17-2013, 06:37 PM
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No question that humans have been the downfall of more than a few species. You evoked much thought from me as I read. The piece was quick and entertaning!
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Old 01-18-2013, 06:15 AM
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Well, I've heard of hoglegs, horse pistols, Bulldog, Cobra, and Python revolvers, Piranha, Phoenix, and Sphinx pistols, even a Kodiak rifle, but I'm stumped on the cows and chickens.
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Old 01-18-2013, 04:55 PM
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"In almost every other race of animals each individual, when it is grown up to maturity, is entirely independent, and in its natural state has occasion for the assistance of no other living creature."
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Old 01-19-2013, 02:33 AM
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Originally Posted by beefheart View Post
"In almost every other race of animals each individual, when it is grown up to maturity, is entirely independent, and in its natural state has occasion for the assistance of no other living creature."
Who (or is it whom) is quoted?
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Old 01-19-2013, 03:40 PM
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Originally Posted by Nick Pierce View Post
Who (or is it whom) is quoted?
Adam Smith, "The Wealth of Nations"
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Old 01-19-2013, 05:29 PM
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Originally Posted by beefheart View Post
Adam Smith, "The Wealth of Nations"
I have been reading the Wiki page of this subject. I am finding it nicely educational.

Thank You
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Old 01-20-2013, 09:21 PM
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Originally Posted by beefheart View Post
"In almost every other race of animals each individual, when it is grown up to maturity, is entirely independent, and in its natural state has occasion for the assistance of no other living creature."
Most of those creatures don't have the life span we have either. With a lot of them, their ONLY predator is Man, with us it is the same with a few animal exceptions. I appreciate your sentiment though.
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Old 01-20-2013, 09:25 PM
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As always, Nick...I found this an extremely entertaining piece of "tongue 'n' cheek". A misspelled word was all I saw in an otherwise well done composition. Hope to see you soon around the forums.

Always,
Gritsy
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Old 01-21-2013, 07:00 PM
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Originally Posted by Gritsy View Post
Nick...I found this an extremely entertaining piece of "tongue 'n' cheek".
Yep. Subtlety is my forte.

Oh, and sometimes I spell a bit inaccurate to keep me human.
Do you know the Navaho rug gag?

(you might mean tongue and cheek when you write "tongue 'n' cheek" but I wonder if you mean tongue in cheek which would be written as tongue 'n cheek)
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Old 02-12-2013, 01:35 AM
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Nice dialogue, Nick. Kept things moving, but still allowed the awkwardness between the characters to breathe
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Old 02-12-2013, 03:35 PM
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Originally Posted by AndyWhitlock View Post
Nice dialogue, Nick. Kept things moving, but still allowed the awkwardness between the characters to breathe
Thanks for your comments, Andy.
Nice to know the work worked for you.
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Old 04-06-2017, 04:30 PM
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Originally Posted by Nick Pierce View Post
Mr. Pierce?

Oh. Hello, Nick. This is unexpected.
Are you allright?

Well, Mr. Pierce, I think I need some advice.

Oh. About what?

It's that I was listening to the President recently. One time he was talking about how his views on relationships are "evolving". And, in another address to us, how the world is changing. And how our responsibilities need to keep up.

Okay. And?

Well, awhile back a fella in Alaska- I wrote about this- he shot and killed a bear that approached him. When the bear was autopsied it was discovered he had no fat whatsoever. He was starving.

Yes. And?

Recently I was reading about a guy in Colorado who shot and killed a bear that was in his two room cabin with him. Uninvited.

So?

So when the bear was examined he was found to be blind in one eye, lame and almost toothless.

Your point?

My point is neither of these critters could fend successfully in the wild.

And when they came to mankind for help they were murdered.


Nick?

Mr. Pierce, I've been seeing ads showing how animals should recieve some of the considerations that humans give each other.

Well, Nick, I'm not so sure that means...

Mr. Pierce- I'm not saying they should be given free room and board in their sunset years.

My goodness. That's a relief. What are you saying?

In the spirit of changing times and evolving vison I would like to see them a little less defenseless as they attempt to feed.

Excuse me?

If they were provided some way to protect theirselves, as their natural abilities declined, then at least two innocent critters, two of nature's children, would, perhaps, still be alive.


Nick- you're not suggesting it would be right to arm bears, are you?

Of course not, Mr. Pierce.
But I would support more discussion on the issue of their safety.


Nick- I...uhhh...let me digest this.
I will get back to you.

Okay, Mr. Pierce. Thanks. Next time I would also like to talk about how cows and chickens are being treated by society.
Oh, and fish, too.




I crack me up sometimes.


Nick, were you speaking to me?


Nah, Mr. Pierce.
Just musing aloud.


Oh. I see.
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Old 04-06-2017, 09:08 PM
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this is very nice, but what is the point?
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Old 04-07-2017, 11:46 AM
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Originally Posted by chat bot View Post
this is very nice, but what is the point?

What is the point of being very nice?
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Old 04-07-2017, 08:25 PM
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Originally Posted by Nick Pierce View Post
What is the point of being very nice?


Yes, no point in that. I'd like to see chit-chat be mean. Oh yeah, she is snarky and hipster-bold, but really mean, I mean.
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Old 04-16-2017, 08:24 AM
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hi brainpatrick. haha i misspelled ur name.
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Old 04-16-2017, 10:11 AM
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Nice work as usual, Nick. But let's not get too up in arms over the plight of lame blind and starving bears. Keep in mind that as soon as we start drilling for oil in those protected nature spots those hungry critters will be feasting on a plethora of overflowing dumpsters. Toss in the occasional drunk and passed out driller those bears and wolves will have a tasty fresh meat meal. Win, win.

As for cows and chickens cow tipping began eons ago when the first farmer found an easy way to get one of those gas filled bovines of his foot.

Chickens are just unfortunate victims of evolution born in the wrong time and the wrong place. Their sole purpose to supply us with eggs and wings to compliment our cold beers. It is as God intended.

The real lament should be for the sheep. I cringe every time I see a pickup going down a country road with the drivers arm draped over his favorite sheep.

They are just too damn trustworthy.
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