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Lone Tree Blues

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  #1  
Old 07-05-2012, 05:31 PM
bicyclingfish (Offline)
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Icon1 Lone Tree Blues


Hacking, thrashing through
crunchy, hard reed-covered banks
I stand alone at the river's edge
Currents whip past

My roots dig deep
into the loess underfoot
Waving to barges, speedboats
Days go past

Loose, long limbs
hold homes for fat fireflies
A lazy raccoon holds court
throwing fish bones all around

Settlers aim for me
considering whether to chop me down
They all wondered
if they could chop me down

Still I stand
150 years later not defeated
Tent caterpillars, pioneer axes, tornadoes
Be damned

I'm the Lone Tree
Standing taller than all
Friends long gone, family carried away
downstream

This life is mine.

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  #2  
Old 07-05-2012, 05:44 PM
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Hi bicyclingfish, loved these lines especially! Great poem, and a great testimonial for our trees.

Originally Posted by bicyclingfish View Post

Still I stand
150 years later not defeated
Tent caterpillars, pioneer axes, tornadoes
Be damned

I'm the Lone Tree
Standing taller than all
Friends long gone, family carried away
downstream

This life is mine.
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bicyclingfish (07-05-2012)
  #3  
Old 07-05-2012, 07:03 PM
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Last line- interesting nailer.
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  #4  
Old 07-05-2012, 11:29 PM
bicyclingfish (Offline)
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Hey Nick, nice catch.

Thanks for your feedback KBR - the trees need a friend, don't they?
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  #5  
Old 07-05-2012, 11:47 PM
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Yeah, last line is sick. Pacing and meter is really quite stellar. I was really tired of amateur attempts at profundities and epic failures on this site, and others I moderate. I get spammed with read requests and I'm tired. This poem cheered me. Thanks.
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  #6  
Old 07-06-2012, 12:09 AM
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I wasn't expecting it. A great and imaginative theme I found it. I also liked your wording.

Though I don't got words enough to describe how good it is.
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  #7  
Old 07-06-2012, 01:13 AM
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The title sucked me right in, and the rest didn't disappoint! Thanks for a great and refreshing read. I'll be nominating this.

Last edited by Nadja; 07-06-2012 at 01:17 AM..
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Old 07-06-2012, 03:55 AM
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Originally Posted by maidahl View Post
I moderate
maidahl the mod- be still my incited imagination, be still
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Old 07-07-2012, 01:04 AM
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Never saw such a beautiful piece about trees before.
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  #10  
Old 07-07-2012, 09:54 AM
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I miss seeing your poems here, bicyclingfish, and this is an example why. I think you could prune (ha) it a bit, little things just to make it pop a bit better. But generally, this is a strong piece.
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  #11  
Old 07-10-2012, 01:36 PM
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maidahl, that's my hip hop pentameter coming out, and yeah, I like it. I'm pleased with how it turned out.
Juilingstar177, thanks!
Nadja, good titles work... I appreciate the nominate.
SadLoner, the pieces are waiting to pour out on all topics!
FireHill, definitely, all things need work. I appreciate you noticing my absence too- that's flattering.
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Old 07-10-2012, 04:17 PM
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Do you write lyrics? You should post them! Not enough people post lyrics.. I was thinking about posting a track or two, but it's slow in that forum. Ehh
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Old 07-14-2012, 03:49 PM
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I don't know how this escaped me – I'm always on the lookout for your poems and I've been craving a new one. You are so good at causing an effect in your reader without beating them over the head with it. I mean, this is ultimately an existential piece, about struggle and endurance and experience – and to what end? Because, this is life, and that's all. It's impossible to come away from this without feeling inspired. With your precise style, it's never about showing or telling, but rather being, if that makes any sense. Also, what I love about your work is it's impossible to pick out a single line or image as particularly affecting or beautiful because every single word you use is essential to the whole piece. I think that's the mark of a unique talent.
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  #14  
Old 07-14-2012, 06:01 PM
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courtney_autumn, I am lighter now than I was 45 seconds ago. Your words are helium in my lungs.
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Old 07-15-2012, 08:11 AM
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Originally Posted by bicyclingfish View Post
I'm the Lone Tree
Standing taller than all
Friends long gone, family carried away
downstream

This life is mine.
I really enjoyed this piece. Concrete, yet surreal. I would get rid of the last stanza (not the last line) and I believe that would give it a bit more impact.
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