Glad I could be of help
'Aware' works better than 'awareness,' looks good. Same as for your other poem, though, look for consistency in your use of capital letters. Then again, you can be a rebel and leave it like this
Btw, if you want to add something to a previous post in a short time span, you can use the 'Edit' button. I've merged your two posts.
Edit: No I haven't, but I suspect someone else has. Lol.