Jack

[Frankie_Q]

Jack's life had been acting strangely lately.

Jack wasn't sad. Jack didn't feel anything. Just numb.

Like when you're standing inside looking at a hurricane through an inch of glass, Jack thought.

Jack sat in his living room. Watching television without a sound. Jack saw the little people fight and laugh and cry and fuck behind the glass. Screaming in silence.

Jack was a bad, pale color.

Jack thought a lot about dying lately. He imagined it might be like swimming in black water. Deep water. He liked the thought of it. Sometimes he would lie in his bed and close his eyes and imagine he was swimming deep black water. Dead.

But never for very long. You see, Jack had the idea that he was special. He kept hanging around because he thought that if he just waited long enough, something interesting might happen to him.

This is understandable, as Jack had seen lots of movies.

Naturally, the odds of something interesting happening to him were not good. But the truth is, you're not really worried about that are you? You're thinking no one would write a book about Jack if nothing interesting ever happend to him.

Clever reader.

Or maybe you've seen too many movies too.


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I'd appreciate your feedback on this excerpt.
Thanks.

[Shelly]

Originally Posted by Frankie_Q

Jack's life had been acting strangely lately.

Jack wasn't sad. Jack didn't feel anything. Just numb.

Like when you're standing inside looking at a hurricane through an inch of glass, Jack thought.

Jack sat in his living room. Watching television without a sound. Jack saw the little people fight and laugh and cry and fuck behind the glass. Screaming in silence.

Jack was a bad, pale color.

Jack thought a lot about dying lately. He imagined it might be like swimming in black water. Deep water. He liked the thought of it. Sometimes he would lie in his bed and close his eyes and imagine he was swimming deep black water. Dead.

But never for very long. You see, Jack had the idea that he was special. He kept hanging around because he thought that if he just waited long enough, something interesting might happen to him.

This is understandable, as Jack had seen lots of movies.

Naturally, the odds of something interesting happening to him were not good. But the truth is, you're not really worried about that are you? You're thinking no one would write a book about Jack if nothing interesting ever happend to him.

Clever reader.

Or maybe you've seen too many movies too.


---------------

I'd appreciate your feedback on this excerpt.
Thanks.

Lately, Jack had been acting strangely. It wasn’t sadness gripping him, but a numbness making him feel empty inside. He kept imagining himself standing behind an inch-thick window staring at a hurricane.

One night, sitting in his living room watching television without the sound, Jack observed the people on the TV show, little people who fought and laughed, cried and fucked. Jack screamed silently.

Recently, Jack spent much time thinking about dying. He imagined death to be like swimming in deep, black water. And, he enjoyed the thought of dying. Sometimes, he would just lie still in his bed, close his eyes, and imagine he was swimming in the deep, black water—dead!

But Jack never remained dead for long periods of time. He would always spring to life, rejuvenated and vibrant too. You see, Jack thought himself to be special. He kept returning to life because he thought if he just stayed alive long enough, something truly interesting would happen to him eventually.

Was it his wishful thinking or was it his unwavering hope that made Jack believe something interesting was heading his way? Even Jack couldn’t answer that question. Perhaps, he thought that way because of all the movies he had seen. Do only interesting things happen to people in the movies? Jack thought so.

[Phyllis Stewart]

I thoroughly enjoyed this piece. Excellent writing style. I would definitely read any book you wrote if you consistently write like this. It's so fresh and uncluttered and even a bit tongue in cheek. What is this from, and where can I find the rest of the story? I really want to read Jack's story now. You've got me hooked on his life and on you as an author.

[Misty Mirrors]

I like your little story. I like the recurring themes. It is fresh and exciting. Good on ya.

[RoseTHuman]

I thought this was interesting and terribly clever, and would like to hear more about Jack.

[Frankie_Q]

Thanks for the kind words. Means a lot.
I'm never really sure how these sort of pieces will be received. You tell yourself you don't care, until someone tells you they like it.

I'll post an update soon.

Cheers!

[luckyme]

Hi Frankie,

At first I thought what is this supposed to be? But then I came to the end of it and I just had to laugh! Well done, thanks for my laugh a day, it was unexpected and brought to me in a fresh and different kind of writing that was utterly refreshing.