His Story (Part 1 Of 3)R

[JnAkers]

The following is part 1 of His story. I orignally posted this years ago under "JnAkers" however i have found it, rewrote it. Please let me know what you think. Thank you.

Name: His Story
Part: 1/3
Words: 1187
Author: Papa Spit/JnAkers

Hello there. How are you doing? Oh I’m very glad that you are well. I wish I could say the same about myself. What? Oh nothing, I didn’t say anything. No really I didn’t. Alright you caught me, but what do you want? You want to know my story? I’m sorry but no you don’t. You won’t enjoy it. Alright, alright I’ll tell you. It all started …..

It all started on a friday afternoon; there was nothing special about this particular Friday afternoon. Indeed the dord of clouds that filled the sky like a wet blanket were all too common. Not many people noticed the fact that the weather was always the same, that it had always been the same. Expect for me of course, but i hardly mattered at this point. What did matter were the vehicles that were at the moment driving down this street for the first time in a long time. I would finally get to know my nephew’s family. There were four in my nephew’s little family.

The first member was my nephew, his name was Samuel. He had changed a lot since the last time that i had seen him. He had never been this big before , indeed he had big broad shoulders and a long curly mustache. While kind to his children, he didn't really know them. So it was difficult for him to show his love, and he was hated for it. I saw this written on his expression as he pulled into the driveway of house number 1221, which made sense as mine was 1331.

The second member was Samuel's wife. I had never met her before but i thought her name was Janice. She was a tall woman, yet not too tall. Along with her considerable tallness,she was also quiet a beauty. I wasn't able to think of her beauty, as her two playful little children ran out of the car, most likely tired of being in the back seat all day.

These two little tots, now they were special. I’m actually a little sad that they’re gone now, for those girls were spitting images of their mother. One wore red, the other blue. Yes, Roxanna and Susanna; the magnet twins. That's when I left the window, for I had drawn sleepy. So I went to bed, hoping my nephew would pop over in a few hours to say “hello”.

Sadly, I was wrong; he never came over. I didn’t let it bother me, no i would just have to go say “welcome to the neighbor hood, nephew” myself. I even baked a large steamy cherry pie just for them. I even took the time to lace it with extra sugar for my nephew’s kids, after all kids love sugar. Once it was all done, I carried it over to house 1221, the house that was directly across from mine, the house of my nephew.

I innocently rang the doorbell and waited for one of the parents to come to the door. I was surprised however as i was greeted by one of the children. “ Yes, may i help you” she said in one of the sweetest voices that I had ever heard out of the mouth of a fourteen year old. I asked her about the whereabouts of her parents. A completely honest question. I have to tell you that before i tell you what she did. She slammed the door in my face. how could my nephew’s kids be so rude? Such a shame. There was nothing I could do so I just sat the pie on the porch and strolled back to my humble home. After all i had my own affairs that I had to attend to.

For I was very busy, bogged down from all the chores that I had to finish before the sun sat, and this would be no easy task for someone my age. I only got them done through pure determination. Indeed i had cleaned the dishes,sweep-ed the floor. Several hours later, all that was left was to take out the trash.

It wasn’t the amount of it that stopped me from removing the bags. It was the body. Yes the body of my most beloved friend. Her name was Isabelle, and i had loved her so much. She would make me feel like a king , the way she would rub her body on me. Indeed I pleasured her too, she would purr so loudly as I would stroke her back. I tell you, i really did love her and her brownish fur. I knew I wouldn't be able to find a better cat. She deserved a proper burial, a ceremony even.

I couldn't just throw her away, she would have to go back to the basement for now. I moved slowly as I retrieved Isabelle’s corpse from the large trash bag. I did try to be gentle but still some blood poured out of her wounds, and all over my recently cleaned floor. I couldn’t just leave it there, far too sticky for that, so I reached for the mop that sat in the corner ,closest to me.

It didn’t take long to get it done, it was as well too for I then heard knocking coming from the front door. Who could it be? Samuel, Maybe? I dropped the mop as I edged toward the opening doorway of the kitchen. <Tick-Tock> What was that noise? My eyes quickly scanned my kitchen. Ah the clock, once I had found that clock, everything became alright again.

I walked into the main hall, the wooden floor boards creaking underfoot. Yes, I could see him,it was indeed my nephew.My Samuel. I quickened my pace to the door after so long he had come. I opened the stained glass door, with a smile and welcomed him in. “Samuel, finally you have come. Come in, come in”. He hesitated before he spoke. “Wait, for my wife, Janice. She cant wait to finally meet you.” Ah, yes the wife,excellent “ Of course, so rude for me to forget”.

Five minutes passed as we stood and talked of family matters that have little value to me. That's when I saw her,walking up the path. She walked the walk of a woman who knew what she wanted. Her burning hair that flowed down to her hips, which were perfect. She was dressed in a long black skirt that fell right below her knees. Her hot pink blouse that fit snugly to her chest. Oh how wonderful those breasts of hers must be. How soft, how warm, how salty they would taste. Then there were her legs, nice and long. She had just shaved as well, judging by how smooth they looked. I needed her. I felt it so bad then, the need to eat the shit out of her, to gobble her until i heard those moans, those screams. Ah, I love an Irish woman for dinner. Oh and yes that's when I once again invited them inside.

Like Part 1? Read Part 2 here

[Hilee Coco]

Originally Posted by PapaSpit

The following is part 1 of His story. I orignally posted this years ago under "JnAkers" however i have found it, rewrote it. Please let me know what you think. Thank you.

Name: His Story
Part: 1/3
Words: 1187
Author: Papa Spit/JnAkers

Hello there. How are you doing? Oh I’m very glad that you are well. I wish I could say the same about myself. What? Oh nothing, I didn’t say anything. No really I didn’t. Alright you caught me, but what do you want? You want to know my story? I’m sorry but no you don’t. You won’t enjoy it. Alright, alright I’ll tell you. It all started …..

It all started on a friday afternoon; there was nothing special about this perticually particular? Well, you get points for creativity. Friday afternoon. Indeed the dord [??] of clouds that filled the sky like a wet blanket were all too common. Not many people noticed the fact that the weather was always the same, that it had always been the same. Expect for me of course, but I hardly mattered at this point. What did matter were the vehicles that were at the moment driving down this street for the first time, delete comma in a long time. This is odd, stiff phrasing. It makes it sound like the cars are driving themselves. Also, why would they come in separate cars? I would finally get to know my nephew’s nephew Samuel's family. There were four in my nephew’s little family.

The first member was my nephew, his name was Samuel. Samuel He had changed a lot since the last time that I had seen him. He had never been this big before , indeed he had big broad shoulders and a long curly mustache. How are these descriptions connected? While kind to his children, he didn't really know them. So it was difficult for him to show his love, and he was hated for it. I saw this written on his expression as he pulled into the driveway of house number 1221, which made sense as mine was 1331. Unclear, I thought he had gone into the wrong house by mistake.

The second member was Samuel's wife. I had never met Samuel's wife her before but I thought her name was Janice. She was a tall woman, yet not too tall. Along with her considerable tallness, she was also quiet quite a beauty. I wasn't able to think of her beauty, as her two playful little children ran out of the car, most likely tired of being in the back seat all day. unclear

These two little tots, now they were special. I’m actually a little sad that there they're gone now, for those girls were spitting images of their mother. One wore red, the other blue. Yes, Roxanna and Susanna; the magnet twins. That's when I left the window, for I had drawn consider word choice sleepy. So I went to bed, hoping my nephew would pop over in a few hours to say “hello”.

Sadly, I was wrong; he never came over. I didn’t let it bother me, no I would just have to go say “welcome to the neighborhood, nephew” myself. I even baked a large steamy cherry pie just for them. I even took the time to lace it with extra sugar for my nephew’s kids, after all kids love sugar. Once it was all done, I carried it over to house 1221, the house that was directly across from mine, the house of my nephew.

I innocently rang the doorbell and waited for one of the parents to come to the door. I was surprised however as one of the little girls came to the door. repetitive “ Yes, may I help you” she said in one of the sweetest voices, delete comma that I had ever heard out of the mouth of a fourteen year old. I asked her about the whereabouts of her parents. A completely honest question. I have to tell you that before I tell you what she did. She slammed the door in my face, how could my nephew’s kids be so rude?, such a shame. This should be three sentences, not one. There was nothing I could do so I just sat set the pie on the porch and strolled back to my humble home. After all I had my own affairs that I had to attend to.

For I was very busy, bogged down from all the chores that I had to finish before the sun sat set, and this would be no easy task for someone my age. I only got them done through pure determination. Indeed I had cleaned the dishes,sweep-ed swept (another creative touch!) the floor. Several hours later, all that was left was to take out the trash.

It wasn’t the amount of it that stopped me from removing the bags. It was the body. Yes the body of my most beloved friend. Her name was Isabelle, and I had loved her so much. She would make me feel like a king , the way she would rub her body on me. Indeed I pleasured her too, she would purr so loudly as I would stroke her back. I tell you, I really did love her and her brownish fur. I knew I wouldn't be able to find a better cat. She deserved a proper burial, a ceremony even. This paragraph is good.

I couldn't just throw her away, she would have to go back to the basement for now. I moved slowly as I retrieved Isabelle’s corpse from the large trash bag. I did try to be gentle but still some blood poured out of her wounds, and all over my recently cleaned floor. I couldn’t just leave it there, far too sticky for that, so I reached for the mop that sat in the corner ,closest to me.

It didn’t take long to get it done, it was as well too for I then heard knocking coming from the front door. Who could it be? Samuel, maybe? I dropped the mop as I edged toward the opening doorway of the kitchen. <Tick-Tock> What was that noise? My eyes quickly scanned the my kitchen. Ah the clock, once I had found that clock, everything became alright again.

I walked into the main hall, the wooden floor boards creaking underfoot. Yes, I could see him,it was indeed my nephew.My Samuel. I quicked quickened my pace to the door, after so long he had come. I opened the stained glass door, delete comma with a smile and welcomed him in. “Samuel, finally you have come. Come him in, come in”. He hesitated before he spoke “Wait, for my wife, Janice. She cant wait to finally meet you”. period goes inside quotation marks Ah, yes the wife,excellent “ Of course, so rude for me to forget”

Five minutes passed as we stood and talked of family matters that have little value to me. That's when I saw her,walking up the path. She walked the walk of a woman who knew what she wanted. Her burning hair that flowed down to her hips, which where were perfect. She was dressed in a long black skirt, delete comma that fell right below her knees. Her hot pink blouse that fit snugly to her chest. Oh how wonderful those breasts of hers must be. How soft, how warm, how salty they would taste. Then there were her legs, nice and long. She had just shaved as well, judging by how smooth they looked. I needed her. I felt it so bad then, the need to eat the shit out of her, to gobble her until i heard those moans, those screams. Ah, I love an Irish woman for dinner. Oh and yes that's when I once again invited them inside

Kind of interesting, though the cannibalism thing (am I right?) seems a little cliche.

Please proofread before posting.

[JnAkers]

Thank you for the grammar help. Ill update in the near future. And Ill start working on part 2 soon. What does everyone else have to say?

[scribbledsoul]

Interesting! I like the twist about the cat. Keep going!

[JnAkers]

Updated, Like I promised. sorry it took awhile.

[Frances]

The story is fairly interesting (although, a little predictable and obvious)... will keep reading to see what happens.

[JnAkers]

Thank you...but in which ways is it obvious?

[Frances]

Originally Posted by JnAkers

Thank you...but in which ways is it obvious?

Just a bit that your reading about this guy and he sounds weird, so it's maybe obvious was the wrong word, it was no surprise when he started to talk about eating people. It was obvious that something like that was about to come.

[JnAkers]

Yea the thing is...he might just be a Horny old man with a thing for irish women. Theres nothing to suggest otherwise in part 1.

[Frances]

Originally Posted by JnAkers

Yea the thing is...he might just be a Horny old man with a thing for irish women. Theres nothing to suggest otherwise in part 1.

No apart from the cat, I thought that made him sound weird, maybe a bit like he has a split personality or something.

he says about eating her, and it just doesn't sound to me like he's talking about oral sex. This is just my personal opinion. I think it's a good story and it's interesting, but if you were going for that as a shock or something like that, then I guess it already. If you were going for your reader to think 'ah I thought that' and to have their suspicion confirmed then it works very well.

[JnAkers]

Well i wanted it to have a "undercurrent". To be felt but unseen. to poke.


Btw...did you notice that he never actually took the cats body down to the basement?

[Frances]

Yes I did notice.

[BTSS]

Interesting