Writing Style for Book on Adoption

[nimchimpsky]

Hey folks. I'm in the process of figuring out how I want to write a book on adoption but am stuck on what tone of voice I should use throughout the book. To explain further, I want to write about the psychological dynamics between adopted children and their parents. I'd like to bring awareness to what adopting actually entails and the emotional effects of taking in a child as your own who has already lived a bit of life and more often than not, has lived a very unpleasant bit of life. While I might discuss the logistical aspects of adoption a bit, the main focus will be on the emotional aspects of adoption.

I am pulling from personal experience but don't want to make it sound too personal, because a lot of my experiences are ones I've observed in other adoptive families. At the same time, I don't want to sound like "you should, you should" and "you should not, you should not". In other words, I'm not sure how conversational to sound, how to avoid sounding bossy, if humor has any place, and so on and so forth. Ideally I'd like to sound competent without sounding arrogant but am afraid I might cross the line.

If you were planning on adopting a child and were reading a book by an adopted child who has worked with other orphans and adopted children, what tone would you most like to be reading? What tone do you think would keep you the most open to the discussion of biological vs. adoptive relationships? I realize my message may easily mistaken as a controversial claim that biological parent-child relationships are stronger than adoptive ones. While that is not at all what I plan on saying, in explaining the differences between a biological parent-child relationship and an adoptive one, it will be hard not to come across as saying such at times. How do I tread carefully while remaining honest?

Thanks for taking the time to read so much. Please let me know what you suggest. Thanks!

[Mister URL]

Personally, I would not take the advice of any layman on an issue of this import. Much like I would not take the advice of an actress on whether to vaccinate my child. No matter how much personal experience you have, it is still one individual's viewpoint, along with their anecdotal evidence.

Now, if you can tie your conclusions and advice to studies done by others like sociologists and child psychologists, maybe even some university research, then you can confidently state, 'This is the way it will happen and what you should do.'

That doesn't mean there is no place for it. Many books have been written by people using their own experiences that have done well and provided good advice.

But this is just my opinion.

[nimchimpsky]

I'm glad you mentioned this because I was initially afraid that people would take one look at the book, not see a "Ph.D." after my name, and throw it back on the shelf. But then I thought there is something to be said for having personal experience as well as textbook knowledge. For example, a doctor might have all sorts of textbook knowledge on the level of paralysis and other medical effects of a level C4 spinal cord injury, but only a person with a level C4 SCI knows what it's actually like to live, day to day, with a SCI. A person living with a SCI is also probably much more aware of the social and emotional aspects of having a SCI, which is the aspect of adoption I want to focus on the most.

I should have mentioned in my initial post that it is a given for me to back up my points and message with studies done by psychologists and sociologists. For example, I was planning on going into a good amount of detail on the work started by Bowlby on Attachment Theory and followed up by Ainsworth, Main and Solomon, since it is a crucial theme in parent-child relationships--especially adoptive ones, where the child's early attachments are often much different from the biological child's.

What I'm wondering though is, should I use a more academic style of writing or a more casual style? I admit right up front that I'm not a psychologist but I have studied a lot of psychology on my own time and have plenty of articles that I have dug up and reread over the years. But does the reader want to feel like she's reading an academic journal or does he want to feel like he's reading Idiots Guide to Adoption? That's my question.

[Mister URL]

It depends on your target audience. If it is prospective adoptive parents, then I think an informal style would be better, with the references to let them follow up on the research if they wish.

If you are aiming at a student or academic level, then it needs to be presented in a more formal, detached style, like all papers are, with embedded footnote markers and a cool, objective narrative.

The informal type will be better accepted by those that are emotionally involved; the detached scientific approach for those to whom it is a learning session.

[nimchimpsky]

Thanks for answering my question. You served as an excellent sounding board as well.

[AnnabellA]

For your purposes, I think an quasi-informal tone makes the most sense. Unless you're doing a literature review, an academic approach would require you to do some empirical work and statistical analysis... which from what I understand is not your goal, particularly since you're drawing a lot from personal experience and not a participant pool.

Anyway, I look forward to hearing about this project. I'm adopted, too!

[nimchimpsky]

Thanks for your feedback AnnabellA!

I'll probably go with an informal yet at least somewhat intelligent-sounding voice.

[Lin]

A LAYMAN????? What, you think this guy is a doctor? Or preacher or something.
Adoption is something that can only be discussed and written about by an anointed select?
Give me a break.

[Rei]

I can't tell you want tone to use, but I do think it's a good idea to back it up with research, but explained in a way that even the least academic person can understand. The problem with some books like this is that you want it to apply to as many people as possible, but if you only talk about yourself, then it is hard for it to be convincing. Or if academic research isn't your thing, see if you can contact other people who are adopted and collect any stories they are willing to share. That way, you can pull together what is applicable to the majority and show how each situation is unique.

[nimchimpsky]

Academic research to back up my points and experiences was a given from the start, but thank you for emphasizing it anyway.

[Rei]

Sorry. Guess I missed that point.

[tony_a20]

Originally Posted by nimchimpsky

I want to write about the psychological dynamics between adopted children and their parents. I'd like to bring awareness to what adopting actually entails and the emotional effects of taking in a child as your own who has already lived a bit of life and more often than not, has lived a very unpleasant bit of life. While I might discuss the logistical aspects of adoption a bit, the main focus will be on the emotional aspects of adoption.

I think you should write your book as an observer, rather than adopt a textbook style. After all, you're writing from your personal experience and observation, not as an authority on the subject.

Tell your story in episodes, giving the good and the bad outcomes of different sets of conditions and experiences of adopted children and adoptive parents.

Weave your deductions as to causes into the story rather than quoting experts. Make it readable to someone considering adoption rather than a lecture on the adoptive process.

Put some distance between yourself and the story by writing in the third person as an impartial witness, rather than making it a autobiographical monologue.

Let readers draw their own conclusions, but give the your judgement as well.

Give it a personal title so readers know your thoughts are being presented.

Tony

[nimchimpsky]

Originally Posted by tony_a20

I think you should write your book as an observer, rather than adopt a textbook style. After all, you're writing from your personal experience and observation, not as an authority on the subject.

...

Thanks Tony for the advice. I've also volunteered with orphans from Russia and El Salvador and visited the orphans in the same orphanage I came from. How should I go about incorporating those experiences?

[tony_a20]

Location makes no diffence unless the location influences the case factors. Write it as just another episode, and explore any local conditions.