Panic Attack

nnybibliophile · #1 05-04-2010, 07:20 AM

omigod. what’s happening? why is my chest so tight? am I having a heart attack? jesus, I’m sweating. why is my heart pounding so hard? calm down, it’s just anxiety. but what if it’s not? damn, I can’t feel my hands. is my vision getting blurry? god, my heart just skipped. is it still beating? I’m going to pass out. get up! walk around. go outside and get some fresh air. that’s a little better. what if I have a heart attack out here? how long will it take for somebody to find me? breathe deeply. ahhh. I don’t want to go back inside. it’s too hot and close in there. pinch my hands. do I feel anything? maybe a little. is the fog shifting in and out? keep walking, get some circulation going. swing my arms. my throat is dry. need a drink of water. go back inside. drinking fountain. whew! that’s a little better. damn, it’s hot in here. open a window, feel the breeze. sit down. my legs feel funny. are my feet numb? move them around a little. kick one foot with the other to see if I feel anything. there's a hissing sound in my ears. I think I’m going to die. should I have someone call 911? does anybody here know CPR? how long can I live if my heart stops beating? not long enough for the ambulance to get here. calm down! it’s just a panic attack. put your head down for a minute. no, that doesn’t work. it gives me trouble breathing. deep breaths. that’s it. in slowly. hold it for a second. not too long. let it out slowly. jeez. am I getting enough oxygen? can you die from a panic attack? no, if I pass out I’ll automatically breathe, I think. okay, get up and go to the bathroom. get another drink of cold water. sit down and close eyes. chest isn’t so tight. burp. some indigestion. that feels a little better. stomach and chest don’t feel so bad. another sip of water. deep breath. pinch myself. yeah, there’s some feeling there. man, this sucks. all right, I think I’m okay now.

Uath · #2 05-05-2010, 03:09 AM

It's funny. The stress in your life will find an outlet, no matter how hard you try to hold it in. Logic won't make it go away. You can't "reason" it out.

It's surprising how many people will experience panic attacks in their lifetime. One of the big problems is the shame we feel for giving in to our emotions. Lost your job? Problems with your wife, your kids? In scary debt?
No problem, you're the "new" American. Just take a pill, then you can go back to your 12 hour work day and still have time to drop by Old Navy on the way home to charge yet another disposable cotton outfit.

nnybibliophile · #3 05-05-2010, 05:32 AM

Yes, it will definitely find an outlet. Before getting treatment for my life-long panic disorder I had chronic digestive issues, migraines and occasional dizziness, along with panic attacks. Along with the treatment I also switched from a very high-stress job to a nine-to-five government position and greatly reduced the number of outside interests that were monopolizing much of my "free" time. Getting more sleep and exercise, while cutting back on the caffeine helped also.

What I described above was a very typical panic attack I would suffer at work; however, I can't describe the terror I would sometimes feel as I honestly believed I was going to die. Deep down, though, I didn't want to suffer the embarassment of going to the ER, to find out it was "only" anxiety, so I generally suffered through it.

Mister URL · #4 05-05-2010, 03:14 PM

Are you posting it for a review and critique, or an overall opinion of the content and structure? For example, I see a few places that need capatilizing.

nnybibliophile · #5 05-06-2010, 04:03 AM

Well, I've never really written stream of consciousness before, so I'd primarily like some feedback as to technique.

Thanks.

Redlorry · #6 05-07-2010, 06:19 AM

Okay, technique...

I'm not a big fan of this type of writing. It forces the reader to move at such a pace as to leave them boggle eyed and wondering if they missed something. And as your piece went on for a bit I found myself with a dizzy headache at the end.

You definitely capture the essence of a panic attack, so good job there, but you almost induce one as well.

Perhaps capitalisation of new thoughts, or line breaks may help. You don't want to cut the thing up with paragraphs.

singphantom7 · #7 05-10-2010, 07:32 AM

I loved the style as stream of consciousness. I think it was interesting, kept me sucked in despite the fact that this type of writing has a tendency to be so chaotic that it starts boring me. I might be biased, though. This sounds very similar to my panic attacks and I was feeling your pain the whole time. You described it so acurately! Thanks for putting this out here.

NovelNoobie · #8 05-11-2010, 04:24 AM

I agree with redlorry but the fact that you did make me feel all 'panicy' was the point of the whole thing i guess. so i think the writing style fits the contect nicely. wouldnt be able to red much more of it all at once though.

marcfiszman · #9 05-12-2010, 09:53 PM

I have some experience with panic attacks. While I think you did a good job covering the various symptoms, I didn't find this person's attack particularly convincing.

I think stream of consciousness is a good choice, but this person's mind still seems too rational.

Lose the lower case thing. I don't think it adds much and just makes such a large para difficult to read. Playing with grammatical forms can be very effective, particularly in these sorts of streams. But maybe tone it down a bit and get a bit more creative

Peerie Pict · #10 05-13-2010, 06:01 AM

I think this was actually very convincing although I'm not sure if I have experienced a full blown panic attack. I think I've been very close.

I can identify with the stream of dramatic questions, especially those about the heart.

I agree with Marc though regarding you not capitalising the beginning of sentences. I'm not sure if you were trying to achieve something but I think it's distracting.

nnybibliophile · #11 05-13-2010, 09:11 AM

Okay. Here it is with capitalization. How do you think it compares to the original? Thanks for the suggestions.

Omigod. What’s happening? Why is my chest so tight? Am I having a heart attack? Jesus, I’m sweating. Why is my heart pounding so hard? Calm down, it’s just anxiety. But what if it’s not? Damn, I can’t feel my hands. Is my vision getting blurry? God, my heart just skipped. Is it still beating? I’m going to pass out. Get up! Walk around. Go outside and get some fresh air. That’s a little better. What if I have a heart attack out here? How long will it take for somebody to find me? Breathe deeply. Ahhh. I don’t want to go back inside. It’s too hot and close in there. Pinch my hands. Do I feel anything? Maybe a little. Is the fog shifting in and out? Keep walking, get some circulation going. Swing my arms. My throat is dry. Need a drink of water. Go back inside. Drinking fountain. Whew! That’s a little better. Damn, it’s hot in here. Open a window, feel the breeze. Sit down. My legs feel funny. Are my feet numb? Move them around a little. Kick one foot with the other to see if I feel anything. I think I’m going to die. Should I have someone call 911? Does anybody here know CPR? How long can I live if my heart stops beating? Not long enough for the ambulance to get here. Calm down! It’s just a panic attack. Put your head down for a minute. No, that doesn’t work. It gives me trouble breathing. Deep breaths. That’s it. In slowly. Hold it for a second. Not too long. Let it out slowly. Jeez. Am I getting enough oxygen? Can you die from a panic attack? No, if I pass out I’ll automatically breathe, I think. Okay, get up and go to the bathroom. Get another drink of cold water. Sit down and close eyes. Chest isn’t so tight. Burp. Some indigestion. That feels a little better. Stomach and chest don’t feel so bad. Another sip of water. Deep breath. Pinch myself. Yeah, there’s some feeling there. Man, this sucks. All right, I think I’m okay now.

Peerie Pict · #12 05-13-2010, 10:22 AM

It reads much better in my opinion.

tony_a20 · #13 06-09-2010, 11:48 AM

I think this is a very good descriptive piece, it really made me understand the panic. But as mentioned above, if you use sentence terminators, you need capitals, and the lack of them distracted me.

As a reader, I would have appreciated a couple of breaks in the crisis description to help me absorb the large block of text. For instance, after "go outside and get some fresh air" inserting something such as "A cool breeze hit my face and blew down my shirt." then continuing with "that's a little better." breaks the stream of thought a tiny bit and allows a paragraph break.

Tony