How would I phrase an odd request?

Devon · #1 10-22-2008, 06:14 AM

I have kind of a strange question, and there are a lot of people here whose opinions I respect, so . . .

My family celebrates Christmas. Each year we exchange gifts (well, duh, right?) and though I seriously would be perfectly content not to receive anything at all, I know that's not going to happen.

So, this year I'd like to inform my family that, if they're thinking about getting me something, that I would like it to come from the Yankee Golden Retriever Rescue store, where all the proceeds go to helping goldens waiting to be placed into homes, or older ones with medical problems and such.

How would one go about phrasing such a request? I don't like to ask for things, especially when it comes to gifts, but I really want the money spent on any of my gifts to go to a good cause and not some big corporation.

What do you suggest?

cajeck · #2 10-22-2008, 07:53 AM

Well...this is without any real knowledge of what your family is like, but I'd probably try and put it like this:

"I really appreciate the gifts you have given me in the past, but this year I would really love it if somehow the things given to me aided in a good cause. Christmas is about giving, and goodwill, and love. I want to share that with those less fortunate."

Be simple about it. Clearly you wouldn't say that word for word, but after that, you'd just explain to them the particular group you'd like to see money donated to and that's it. I don't think it's anything to feel embarassed or uncomfortable asking for--in fact it's very admirable. I often feel kind of disgusted with Christmas, despite some of the good things that come with it. Too much commercialism. Maybe I'll steal your idea and tell my family the same thing, but chances are they've all ready bought my gifts. -_-;;

Q Wands · #3 10-22-2008, 08:48 AM

Ever since I was a teenager (and fed up with my parents buying me all the wrong things, like Judy Collins records), I've made a list of what I want. My requests have varied over the years, in line with my tastes, but I still make a list for the OH and Wolfie for my birthday and Christmas. In fact, I just made a list recently and, oh, is it exciting! (ie fuzzy socks to keep my feet warm, gel ink pens, a wok stand, yeehah!

)

Anyway, it's probably a lot easier than you think. In fact, they might even thank you for it. It is never easy thinking what to buy people, and when you have presents to buy for lots of different people, it can get extremely hard to think what to buy. So just tell them up front that you've been thinking and then go with Cajeck's line about wanting your gifts to bring some benefit where it's needed. Who could possibly grumble and risk looking like a total Scrooge?

Devon · #4 10-22-2008, 08:52 AM

Thank you both.

I do like how you'd worded it, cajeck. And yeah, if anyone grumbles, it would make them look like a Scrooge, wouldn't it? Lol.

Winterbite · #5 10-22-2008, 09:28 AM

Oh yes, I make lists too. Very specific lists, ofttimes

. The other two got it about right. Just tell them that you'd like the money they spend on your gifts to go to this nice cause, etc., etc. Everybody will understand, I'm sure.

Q Wands · #6 10-22-2008, 10:13 AM

And it's an animal charity. I mean, c'mon, how hard-hearted could they be?

HoiLei · #7 10-22-2008, 04:04 PM

All good ideas.

Here's another: include a cute picture of a Golden Retriever puppy. Problem solved!

Devon · #8 10-22-2008, 05:17 PM

include a cute picture of a Golden Retriever puppy. Problem solved!

Lol! My dad and my dad-in-law were both very receptive to the idea already. In fact, my father said he's going to donate money to the YGRR shelter in my name.

Q Wands · #9 10-22-2008, 05:49 PM

Yay! That's a very nice thing to do.

Devon · #10 10-22-2008, 06:09 PM

I was quite pleased to hear this.

SW · #11 10-23-2008, 12:58 AM

Grr.

All I ever got was money, so I tried to get it to donations half the times.

Good for you, Dev!

Q Wands · #12 10-23-2008, 01:27 AM

Originally Posted by SynonymousWords

Grr.

All I ever got was money, so I tried to get it to donations half the times.

Good for you, Dev!

One thing about money, SW: it's always the right size.

SW · #13 10-23-2008, 02:05 AM

Yeah, but when you give it... actually, gift cards are worse! You feel like you've given something thoughtless AND limited!

Devon · #14 10-23-2008, 02:10 AM

Gift cards are great! Especially if it's from a store you like.

We don't spend money around our house very often, thanks to what's going on with the American economy, so getting a gift card from, say, Barnes and Noble or Borders, is a happy thing for me.

But having money donated to help poor doggies who are waiting for homes, who have special needs, who might be on some type of medication to keep them healthy or alive, or just simply old and infirmed . . . that's truly a happy thing for me.

Q Wands · #15 10-23-2008, 02:32 AM

Amazon gift vouchers are always welcomed by the Wolfling. She can spend them on music, DVDs, or - and this is where the entire value of the last one went - on art books.

But I think when people get older, it gets harder to buy them things. Either you have to agree to stop altogether, or else find things like charitable causes that you can donate to in their name.

HoiLei · #16 10-23-2008, 02:57 PM

Kravco Simon gift cards are the worst. They're s'posed to act like debit cards, in that you can spend them anywhere. But after a short time, they "expire" and the company charges a monthly fee for keeping it open. The monthly fee is quietly subtracted from the card balance. So rather than the gift that keeps on giving, you get the gift that takes itself away! Ugh.

Q Wands · #17 10-23-2008, 04:08 PM

I've been out of the US for so long that there are plenty of new high street stores and such I have never heard of, to whit, Kravco Simon. What is it?

Devon · #18 10-23-2008, 05:29 PM

I've never heard of them, either. But I have heard of gift cards with expiration dates on them (one of which comes from, I think, Pier One Imports) and that's just wrong. The gift card was paid for; it should be treated like cash, no?

Q Wands · #19 10-23-2008, 06:07 PM

Well, you would think so. They received cash for it so they should be willing to offer goods in exchange. It's not as though the value of what they give would alter with time. A $20 gift voucher will always be worth $20, or should be. Putting an expiry date on it, as though it were a coupon, seems so wrong!

SW · #20 10-23-2008, 10:55 PM

For Myers, in Australia, about 2 years it lasts...

HoiLei · #21 10-24-2008, 02:20 AM

I'm not sure what Kravco Simon is. It's not a store... maybe a company that owns many stores? The card works anywhere, while it lasts! But what a hassle. I'd rather have cash. If people think that's not thoughtful enough, they can give me cash in a pretty envelope! See? I'm easy to please.

Nemesis · #22 10-28-2008, 04:19 AM

How on earth can a gift card expire? It's money! I mean, adjust it for inflation, but don't make it expire. Personally, I consider it a dishonest accounting practice to recieve money for a service not yet rendered, and then to have the nerve to say that the money that was recieved is no longer valid.

Anyways, I think the request is admirable, and was thinking of a similar idea for myself since my house it literally becoming cluttered with well meaning gifts that I do not need. Why do North Americans need to buy everything they see?

SW · #23 10-28-2008, 04:23 AM

Usually two years, Nemi... most do, really.

kaolin · #24 10-29-2008, 01:30 PM

Originally Posted by Q Wands

Well, you would think so. They received cash for it so they should be willing to offer goods in exchange. It's not as though the value of what they give would alter with time. A $20 gift voucher will always be worth $20, or should be. Putting an expiry date on it, as though it were a coupon, seems so wrong!

Wrong enough to be illegal in some states.

(California, at least)