WritersBeat.com
 

Go Back   WritersBeat.com > Write Here > Non-Fiction

Non-Fiction Journals, biographies, memoirs, etc.


Is Desdemona’s change from the assertive heroine to a passive victim a plausible one?

Reply
 
Thread Tools
  #1  
Old 03-25-2008, 11:59 AM
Blooming (Offline)
Abnormally Articulate
Official Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Eastbourne, England
Posts: 125
Thanks: 0
Thanks 0
Send a message via AIM to Blooming Send a message via MSN to Blooming
Default Is Desdemona’s change from the assertive heroine to a passive victim a plausible one?


The character of Shakespeare's Desdemona is a study in contrasts as she gradually changes from an assertive woman to a passive victim. Her development is quite plausible in some respects; however, at different times in the play, these changes may be overly dramatic. The characters’ various viewpoints about Desdemona lead the audience to imagine and anticipate what she is like. Shakespeare presents her as a paradoxical character: first a woman of authority who can take control quite easily and later as an innocent maiden. Desdemona is influential and complex; perhaps this explains why the play has been enjoyed for 400 years.

When Iago describes Desdemona in the play’s opening moments, he tells Brabantio: “you’re robb’d…you have lost half your soul… an old black ram Is tupping your white ewe” and when he describes her to Othello, he insults her further as his language is peppered with coarse, sexual imagery. However, in Iago’s second soliloquy in 2:1, he compliments her and tells the audience in blank verse, the style often adopted by high class characters, the truth of how he truly thinks about her : “Now I do love her too; Not out of absolute lust.” He has no reason to lie at this point as he confides in the audience. Shakespeare describes her as a “white ewe”; this presents her as an animal, but someone who is fair and tender. The audience presumes that she is an obedient woman forced by Othello to do whatever he pleases. Therefore the audience’s initial perception of her came from Iago and is supported by Brabantio’s view of: “perfection.”

When we first hear his description, it is of her taking a hand in determining her destiny. He describes their courtship: “But still the house affairs would draw her thence; She’d come again, and with a greedy ear Devour up my discourse.” Thus she is distracted from her housework by Othello’s account. Desdemona becomes fascinated with Othello’s life and she tries to come back as often as she can. The image of a “greedy ear” stresses how keen she is. She becomes increasingly emotionally involved and she asks him to tell her more about his life. She is easily moved to tears of compassion and “wished she had not heard it, yet she wished That heaven had made her such a man.” Hence the audience sees her as young woman living a sheltered, routine existence, susceptible to the glamour and sense of adventure Othello brings to her life. We see her also as someone easily roused to pity and compassion, which led to her falling in love. We hear about her change quickly, subsequently we can presume she is extremely decisive and wilful. However, there is some truth in Iago and Brabantio’s accounts about her character. An Elizabethan audience would be shocked at her falling in love with someone who was a “Moor.”

Desdemona’s carefully chosen, articulated words concerning a daughter’s conflicting duties towards her father and the man she loves, echoes in other Shakespearean plays such as "King Lear" and "Romeo and Juliet." “I do perceive here a divided duty…My life and education both do learn me How to respect you…as my mother show’d To you, preferring you before her father… I challenge that I may profess Due to the Moor my lord.” Her speech shows her thoughtfulness; she does not insist on her loyalty to Othello at the expense of respect for her father, but rather acknowledges that her duty is “divided.” Because Desdemona is brave enough to stand up to her father, and even partially rejects him in public, these words establish her courage and strength of conviction. She uses her words for different types of affection, which makes her seek, without hesitation, to help Cassio, thereby fuelling Othello’s jealousy. At first, she is a politician in Venice, but her father’s last words to Othello, “She may deceive thee.” creates a sinister tone. The audience would be shocked at her love towards Othello, but further so because she has ordered the senate to do what she desires.

When we compare Desdemona in Venice and then in Cyprus, we see that she is more assertive in one more than the other. She asks the senate “Let me go with him” as she loves Othello; however, in Cyprus, she is strong-willed at first, but as Iago makes Othello more insane, she becomes weaker: “An unkind breach…I will not stay to offend you.” Shakespeare uses this structure to show the gradual change from a liberated maiden to an innocent victim. When Desdemona and Cassio are being flirtatious, Iago changes his speech from blank verse to prose, a style used for a different target-audience and in certain situations. Perhaps Shakespeare wanted the audience to perceive her as a woman of respect, yet easily preyed upon. This sudden change from the docile lover to the strong-willed protagonist appears to be overly dramatic at the start of Act 2, as she becomes worried about Othello and a few minutes later becomes flirtatious. Iago uses the idea of “He takes her by the palm…Well kissed” to make Othello jealous and to persuade Othello that Cassio and Desdemona are lovers. Iago does this, as he can remove Cassio for all the mockery he has bestowed upon him. It also gets rid of Desdemona, hence Othello will be mortified, which Iago desires. Shakespeare might have portrayed Desdemona as a woman who can keep all of Othello’s status and power because she is a daughter of Brabantio.

Her development through the play is crucial. Shakespeare uses the motif of sightwhen Desdemona asks to be allowed to accompany Othello to Cyprus. She says that she “saw Othello’s visage in his mind/ And to his honours and his valiant parts / Did I my soul and fortunes consecrate.” She has the power to see him in a way that even Othello himself cannot. Later on the play, Othello believes that Desdemona is a “strumpet”, though he has not seen Desdemona be one. Shakespeare portrays a contradiction between Desdemona and Othello as she can see him in a pure and warm light, but by the Elizabethan audience and other characters a “Moor,” In contrast, Othello sees her as a “whore” but the audience sees her as a “fair” lady. She is described in Cyprus as “general” and “fair warrior.” Shakespeare uses this language to make her appear proud and independent; however, these qualities lead to her downfall. She reaches the peak of her assertiveness: “This is a trick to put me from my suit… You’ll never meet a more sufficient man.” Desdemona is being courageous, as she is trying to reinstate Cassio. Nonetheless, when the handkerchief, one of the most important symbols in the play, is taken, she changes from the self-confident woman to the deferential wife. The audience would sympathise with Desdemona, as she is someone who is trying to find the handkerchief, because it represents her virginity, fidelity, love, trust and marriage towards Othello. Shakespeare implies Desdemona’s weakness at this point and to prove that love is magical but flawed, “There is magic in the web/Away.” he uses the handkerchief as a symbol to the audience, as it foreshadows the ending of their marriage and the beginning of the climax leading her to her own demise. Shakespeare uses “magic,” as the handkerchief reflects on a marriage between a Moor and a Venetian woman.

Her passivity is revealed later on the play. The audience knows that Iago’s sinister plots are working, and the heroine becomes increasingly vulnerable and important in each scene that follows; when she is slapped and ridiculed by her husband for example. The audience finds it shocking and she says herself that she does “not deserve this” humiliating public degradation. However, she does not respond with anger, but instead begins to “weep.” Shakespeare uses that as stage directions to make it more obvious to the audience. She is undeniably becoming more unreceptive, but she does react in a way which does make us wonder, if her change is really plausible: “I cannot weep, nor answers have I none But what should go by water.” Shakespeare depicts that she is at her weakest point and she has lost her assertiveness. However, the greatest contrast to her early assertion is in 4:2, when the audience joins the conversation in medias res, Othello to Desdemona as though she is a prostitute, while Emilia is her bawd. Shakespeare is trying to prove that we need more than one proof before we leap to a conclusion. The imagery of “rose-lipped cherubin” and “weed… fair” refers to Desdemona, and Shakespeare might have used this imagery because Othello might reverse these thoughts of her as a beautiful woman and someone who will love him forever. Shakespeare uses an oxymoron with “weed” and “fair” for a rhetorical effect to the audience. It would make us sympathise with Desdemona due to her being “fair” but not a “weed.”We could say that in the beginning of this scene, she acts as a strong-minded woman because she bravely tries to defend herself against Othello’s accusations. But as Othello becomes furious, the audience may notice that Desdemona will turn into the atypical submissive woman to prove to Othello that she loves him dearly. Desdemona describes herself as a “preserve this vessel for my lord,” Shakespeare uses “vessel”, as it refers to her loyalty towards Othello.

Her death is one of the greatest and most melancholy moments of the play. As Desdemona predicts her own demise, she believes that she will have a similar fate to her maid Barbary. She orders Emilia wedding-sheets to be on her bed and she sings the song “Willow.” Shakespeare uses “Willow,” to reflect on Desdemona’s sadness and the point towards death. She does not seek to blame her husband for these faults. Desdemona uses “ If I do die before thee, prithee shroud me In one of these same sheets,” Shakespeare uses “shroud” as it adds an ominous effect, since the Elizabethans believed that it led to death. When Desdemona is revived momentarily she forgives Othello, which makes the audience try to forgive him. “Commend me to my kind lord,” she is the mediator between us and Othello. Shakespeare makes Desdemona a loyal wife towards Othello and the language Desdemona uses is extremely forgiving. Her death reveals everything to the audience. Shakespeare might be implying that friendships are extremely valuable and how much we should cherish them. “An odious damned lie…I will not charm my tongue.” Her death was caused by the jealously of her husband. This tells us that her change is quite plausible, as she accepts her fate, but tries to fight against it. Her attempts, however, do not succeed and she perishes. Even though she dies, she comes back to life, which goes against fate and she continues to try to save her husband.


I think she is actually a strong character throughout the play, although she appears to have changed. The changes we see are on the surface only. Underneath, Desdemona is the same strong, determined, confident and self-possessed young woman she always was. Without that underlying strength of character, she would not have been able to face her death with such equanimity.


Last edited by Blooming; 04-09-2008 at 12:07 PM..
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 03-26-2008, 07:00 PM
Devon's Avatar
Devon (Offline)
Guard Dog and Playful Pup
Head SPaG Ninja
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: In the ether of my imagination
Posts: 10,209
Thanks: 710
Thanks 1,483
Default

Hello Blooming. Here's your crit as requested.

Comments are in blue. Suggestions/things to consider are in red. I'm going to focus, as you asked, on grammar and punctuation, though I might throw in places where things could be tightened to sound better. I don't usually critique non-fiction, but there's always a first time
.

Originally Posted by Blooming View Post
It can be suggested [you might want to come up with something a bit stronger for the beginning part of your thesis's opening line] that Shakespeare’s Desdemona is a passive victim. However, when we focus on the first act of Othello [comma] we see an assertive heroine. This is a contradiction to the submissive victim. [unneeded, since the whole opening speaks of a contradiction; passive victim to assertive heroine. If you wanted to keep 'to the submissive victim,' you could combine the last two: . . . we see an assertive heroine, a contradiction to the submissive victim. Or you could combine the first two sentences (because you say 'however' within the next few sentences) and leave the third: It can be suggested (or whatever you decide to have there) that Shakespeare's Desdemona is a passive victim, but when we focus on the first act of Othello, we see an assertive heroine. This is a contradiction.] Throughout the play we see a gradual change from a self-confident protagonist to an obedient woman. Her development through the play [unneeded] can be said to be [is] quite plausible in some respects, [semicolon] however, at different times in the play [comma] these changes may be overdramatic. [overly dramatic] The characters’ various points of views [viewpoints] about Desdemona lead the audience to imagine and anticipate what she is like. She is presented as a paradoxical character by Shakespeare [comma] who could be implying that she is woman of authority who can take control quite easily [comma] but later she is presented as an innocent maiden. [Actually, that whole sentence could be reworded for parallel construction: Shakespeare presents her as a paradoxical character: first a woman of authority who can take control quite easily and later as an innocent maiden] Desdemona is presented [because Shakespeare has already 'presented her,' you could drop this 'presented' completely: Desdemona is an influential and complex character . . . ] as an influential and complex character; perhaps this explains why the play has been enjoyed for four hundred [400] years.

When Desdemona is being described by Iago [When Iago describes Desdemona (active voice)] in the play’s opening moments, he tells Brabantio: “ you’re robb’d…you have lost half your soul… an old black ram Is tupping your white ewe” [I believe you don't really need to have this in italics, just in quotes. You might want to double-check that.] and when, [no comma] he is describing Desdemona to [he describes her to (parallel construction)] Othello, he insults her further as his language is peppered with coarse, sexual imagery. However, in Iago’s second soliloquy in 2:1 [comma] he compliments her and tells the audience in blank verse, the style often adopted by high class characters, the truth of what he thinks about her [how he truly thinks about her] : “Now I do love her too; Not out of absolute lust”. [period inside quotes, even when you are directly quoting a passage] He has no reason to lie at this point of the play, [unneeded, since we know it's in a play] as he confides with [in] the audience. Shakespeare describes her as a “white ewe” [semicolon outside the quotes] this presents her as an animal, but someone who is fair and tender. The audience presume [presumes] that she is an obedient woman who is [unneeded] forced by Othello to do whatever he pleases. So the audience’s initial perception of her characteristic [might be unneeded; could go either way, actually. Cutting it would trim down the sentence and it would still sound fine.] came from Iago and is supported by Brabantio’s view: “perfection”. [period inside quotes]

Like Othello, Desdemona contradicts early descriptions of her character when she first appears in the play. Her father tells us that she is a “jewel”; [period instead of a semicolon] Shakespeare uses that [this] word because in Elizabethan times, a jewel is [unneeded] usually referredto virginity or possession. He also describes her as ‘a maiden never bold/ of spirit.’ [If you are going to use double quotes elsewhere, you need to use them here as well, and vice versa. Consistency is key] It seems to Brabantio that she is modest, opposed to marriage and afraid to look on Othello. Brabantio’s language about Desdemona is idealised and he might be remembering her from her earlier years. She emerges from his description as an innocent, shrinking, girlish figure, so the audience is unprepared for the forthright, brave young woman we see in the senate scenes. When we hear this, we still presume that Desdemona is a passive victim and a woman of fragility. However, we hear a more believable account about Desdemona from Othello.

When we first hear a description of her from Othello
, [These two sentences are basically saying the same thing. Perhaps: 'However, Othello gives a more believable account about Desdemona' for the last line in the paragraph above and keep the first line, just alter it a bit: 'When we first hear his description,'] it is of her taking a hand in determining her destiny. He describes their courtship: “But still the house affairs would draw her thence; She’d come again, and with a greedy ear Devour up my discourse.” So she is distracted from her housework by Othello’s account. Desdemona becomes fascinated of [with] Othello’s life and she tries to come back as often as she can. The image of a “greedy ear” stresses how keen she is. She becomes increasingly emotionally involved and she asks him to tell her more about his life. She is easily-moved [no hyphen] to tears of compassion and “wished she had not heard it, yet she wished That heaven had made her such a man.” So the audience can see [sees] her as young woman living a sheltered, routine existence, emotionally [did you want to say 'emotionally' again here so soon?] susceptible to the glamour and sense of adventure Othello brings to her life. Also, we see
her [We see her also (could be either, actually)] as someone who is [unneeded] easily roused to pity and compassion, which led to her falling in love. We hear about her change quickly [comma] so we can presume she is extremely decisive and wilful. However, there is some truth in Iago and Brabantio’s accounts too [unneeded] about her character. Also, [unneeded] An Elizabethan audience would be shocked because she has fallen [at her falling] in love with someone who was a “Moor”. [period inside quotes]

Desdemona’s carefully chosen, articulated words, [no comma] concerning a daughter’s conflicting duties towards her father and the man she loves, echo other Shakespearean plays such as "King Lear" and "Romeo and Juliet". [period within quotes] “I do perceive here a divided duty…My life and education both do learn me How to respect you…as my mother show’d To you, preferring you before her father… I challenge that I may profess Due to the Moor my lord”.
[period within quotes] Her speech shows her thoughtfulness, [semicolon] as [unneeded] she does not insist on her loyalty to Othello at the expense of respect for her father [comma] but rather acknowledges that her duty is “divided.” Because Desdemona is brave enough to stand up to her father [comma] and even partially rejects him in public, these words also establish for the audience [unneeded] her courage and strength of conviction. She uses her words for different types of affection [comma] which will make Desdemona [makes her] seek, without hesitation, to help Cassio, thereby fuelling Othello’s jealousy. At first, she is a heroine in Venice; [comma] but her father’s last words to Othello, [no comma]“She may deceive thee”. [no period] creates a sinister tone. The audience would be shocked [the audience was shocked at the end of the previous paragraph too] at [by] her love towards Othello, but further so because she has ordered the senate to do what she desires.

When we compare Desdemona in Venice and Cyprus, [when you compare/contrast two things, list them simply at first and then go in depth in the sentences
following. For example: 'When we compare Desdemona in Venice and then in Cyprus, we see that she is more assertive in one than the other.' Or something like that, then go into the explanations] we see that in Venice is where she is most assertive because she asks the senate “Let me go with him” as she loves Othello. However, in Cyprus, at first she is strong-willed [she is strong-willed at first] but as Iago is making [makes] Othello more insane, this leads her to become [she becomes] weaker [colon]“An unkind breach…I will not stay to offend you”. [period inside quotes] Shakespeare uses this structure because he wanted [unneeded] to show the gradual change from a liberated maiden to an inert victim, [period] It could said to be quite overdramatic. [overly dramatic, though you could stick a shortened version of this between 'gradual' and 'change' at set it off with em dashes: Shakespeare uses this structure to show the gradual--though overly dramatic--change from . . . ] When Desdemona and Cassio are being flirtatious, Iago changes his speech from blank verse to prose, a style to be [unneeded] used for a different target-audience and in certain situations. ['Perhaps' here and drop the 'maybe' later?] Shakespeare maybe wanted the audience to perceive her as a woman of respect [comma] but someone [yet] easily preyed upon. This sudden change from the passive victim to the assertive heroine appears to be overdramatic, [no comma, 'overly dramatic,' and you've used this quite a few times. Perhaps there's another way of stating this?] in [at] the start of Act 2, as she becomes worried about Othello and a few minutes later she [unneeded] becomes flirtatious. Iago uses the idea of “He takes her by the palm.” [do you need a period after that?] “Well kissed” to make Othello jealous and to make Cassio and Desdemona seem like lovers, [no comma] so Iago can remove Cassio for all the mockery he has bestowed upon Iago. [him] Also, to getting [It also gets] rid of Desdemona, so Othello can be [can be or will be?] mortified. Shakespeare might have portrayed Desdemona as a woman, [no comma] who can keep all of Othello’s status and power, [no comma] because she is a daughter of Brabantio.

*whew* I have to take a break here. So far, so good. I'm actually learning a lot about Desdemona and this particular play. I don't think you really need to change 'assertive heroine' and 'passive victim,' as you've done a very good job of varying it along the way.

As for a couple of things I've made reference to:

1) periods/commas within quotes is probably different where you are. Here, in the US, we usually place the period and commas within the quotes. In England, it's different. The first is stylistic (though more accepted), whereas the second is actually grammatically correct. Whichever one you choose to do, be sure to do it consistently throughout the work.

2) I don't think you need to italicize the direct quotes. If you choose to do it this way though, just like the period/comma thing, make sure you keep it the same throughout.

I hope I've helped you out some. I'll be back to finish it up sometime soon, as long as you'd like me to. I just have to get some sleep; it's 11 p.m. and I'm exhausted. If you have any questions, feel free to PM me.

Devon
__________________
May the demons in my novel never darken your doorstep . . .
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
.
Visit:

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
. What's it to ya?
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
- NOW OPEN!


Last edited by Devon; 03-26-2008 at 07:05 PM..
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 03-27-2008, 06:08 AM
Blooming (Offline)
Abnormally Articulate
Official Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Eastbourne, England
Posts: 125
Thanks: 0
Thanks 0
Send a message via AIM to Blooming Send a message via MSN to Blooming
Default

Thank you for that. Also, it has helped me. Anyway, here is the version you liked more. How can I make the introduction better?

It can be suggested that [you might want to come up with something a bit stronger for the beginning part of your thesis's opening line] Shakespeare's Desdemona is a passive victim, but when we focus on the first act of Othello, we see an assertive heroine. This is a contradiction. Throughout the play we see a gradual change from a self-confident protagonist to an obedient woman. Her development is quite plausible in some respects; however, at different times in the play, these changes maybe overly-dramatic. The characters’ various viewpoints about Desdemona lead the audience to imagine and anticipate what she is like. Shakespeare presents her as a paradoxical character: first a woman of authority who can take control quite easily and later as an innocent maiden because Shakespeare has already portrayed Desdemona as an influential and complex character; perhaps this explains why the play has been enjoyed for 400 years.

When Iago describes Desdemona (active voice) in the play’s opening moments, he tells Brabantio: “you’re robb’d…you have lost half your soul… an old black ram Is tupping your white ewe” and when he describes her to (parallel construction) Othello, he insults her further as his language is peppered with coarse, sexual imagery. However, in Iago’s second soliloquy in 2:1, he compliments her and tells the audience in blank verse, the style often adopted by high class characters, the truth of how he truly thinks about her : “Now I do love her too; Not out of absolute lust.” He has no reason to lie at this point, as he confides in the audience. Shakespeare describes her as a “white ewe”; this presents her as an animal, but someone who is fair and tender. The audience presumes that she is an obedient woman forced by Othello to do whatever he pleases. So the audience’s initial perception of her came from Iago and is supported by Brabantio’s view: “perfection.”

Like Othello, Desdemona contradicts early descriptions of her character when she first appears in the play. Her father tells us that she is a “jewel.”Shakespeare uses this word because in Elizabethan times, a jewel usually referred to virginity or possession. He also describes her as ‘a maiden never bold/ of spirit.’ It seems to Brabantio that she is modest, opposed to marriage and afraid to look on Othello. Brabantio’s language about Desdemona is idealised and he might be remembering her from her earlier years. She emerges from his description as an innocent, shrinking, girlish figure, so the audience is unprepared for the forthright, brave young woman we see in the senate scenes. When we hear this, we still presume that Desdemona is a passive victim and a woman of fragility. However, we hear a more believable account about Desdemona from Othello.

When we first hear his description, it is of her taking a hand in determining her destiny. He describes their courtship: “But still the house affairs would draw her thence; She’d come again, and with a greedy ear Devour up my discourse.” So she is distracted from her housework by Othello’s account. Desdemona becomes fascinated with Othello’s life and she tries to come back as often as she can. The image of a “greedy ear” stresses how keen she is. She becomes increasingly emotionally involved and she asks him to tell her more about his life. She is easily moved to tears of compassion and “wished she had not heard it, yet she wished That heaven had made her such a man.” So the audience sees her as young woman living a sheltered, routine existence, emotionally [did you want to say 'emotionally' again here so soon?] susceptible to the glamour and sense of adventure Othello brings to her life. We see her also as someone easily roused to pity and compassion, which led to her falling in love. We hear about her change quickly, so we can presume she is extremely decisive and wilful. However, there is some truth in Iago and Brabantio’s accounts about her character. An Elizabethan audience would be shocked at her falling in love with someone who was a “Moor.”

Desdemona’s carefully chosen, articulated words concerning a daughter’s conflicting duties towards her father and the man she loves, echoes in other Shakespearean plays such as "King Lear" and "Romeo and Juliet." “I do perceive here a divided duty…My life and education both do learn me How to respect you…as my mother show’d To you, preferring you before her father… I challenge that I may profess Due to the Moor my lord.” Her speech shows her thoughtfulness; she does not insist on her loyalty to Othello at the expense of respect for her father, but rather acknowledges that her duty is “divided.” Because Desdemona is brave enough to stand up to her father, and even partially rejects him in public, these words establish her courage and strength of conviction. She uses her words for different types of affection, which will makes her seek, without hesitation, to help Cassio, thereby fuelling Othello’s jealousy. At first, she is a heroine in Venice, but her father’s last words to Othello “She may deceive thee” creates a sinister tone. The audience would be amazed by her love towards Othello, but further so because she has ordered the senate to do what she desires.

When we compare Desdemona in Venice and then in Cyprus, we see that she is more assertive in one than the other. Because she asks the senate “Let me go with him” as she loves Othello, however in Cyprus, she is strong-willed at first but as Iago makes Othello more insane, she becomes weaker: “An unkind breach…I will not stay to offend you.” Shakespeare uses this structure because to show the gradual change from a liberated maiden to an inert victim. It could be said that it is overly dramatic. When Desdemona and Cassio are being flirtatious, Iago changes his speech from blank verse to prose, a style used for a different target-audience and in certain situations. Perhaps Shakespeare wanted the audience to perceive her as a woman of respect, yet easily preyed upon. This sudden change from the passive victim to the assertive heroine appears to be overly dramatic at the start of Act 2, as she becomes worried about Othello and a few minutes later becomes flirtatious. Iago uses the idea of “He takes her by the palm…Well kissed” to make Othello jealous and to make Cassio and Desdemona seem like lovers so Iago can remove Cassio for all the mockery he has bestowed upon him. It also gets rid of Desdemona, so Othello will be mortified. Shakespeare might have portrayed Desdemona as a woman, who can keep all of Othello’s status and power because she is a daughter of Brabantio.

Last edited by Blooming; 03-27-2008 at 11:41 AM..
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 03-27-2008, 06:06 PM
Devon's Avatar
Devon (Offline)
Guard Dog and Playful Pup
Head SPaG Ninja
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: In the ether of my imagination
Posts: 10,209
Thanks: 710
Thanks 1,483
Default

Hello Blooming. First, you might want to remove my comments from the piece. I'll highlight them so you can take them out. Second, it's up to you how you want the opening line to sound. Starting a sentence with 'it' usually makes it sound weak, but how you ultimately begin is completely up to you. I think you need to come up with that. If you can't, it's perfectly fine to leave it as it is.

Originally Posted by Blooming View Post
Thank you for that. Also, it has helped me. Anyway, here is the version you liked more. How can I make the introduction better?

It can be suggested that [you might want to come up with something a bit stronger for the beginning part of your thesis's opening line] Shakespeare's Desdemona is a passive victim, but when we focus on the first act of Othello, we see an assertive heroine. This is a contradiction. Throughout the play we see a gradual change from a self-confident protagonist to an obedient woman. Her development is quite plausible in some respects; however, at different times in the play, these changes maybe overly-dramatic. The characters’ various viewpoints about Desdemona lead the audience to imagine and anticipate what she is like. Shakespeare presents her as a paradoxical character: first a woman of authority who can take control quite easily and later as an innocent maiden [period] because Shakespeare has already portrayed Desdemona is an influential and complex character; perhaps this explains why the play has been enjoyed for 400 years.

When Iago describes Desdemona (active voice) in the play’s opening moments, he tells Brabantio: “you’re robb’d…you have lost half your soul… an old black ram Is tupping your white ewe” and when he describes her to (parallel construction) Othello, he insults her further as his language is peppered with coarse, sexual imagery. However, in Iago’s second soliloquy in 2:1, he compliments her and tells the audience in blank verse, the style often adopted by high class characters, the truth of how he truly thinks about her : “Now I do love her too; Not out of absolute lust.” He has no reason to lie at this point, as he confides in the audience. Shakespeare describes her as a “white ewe”; this presents her as an animal, but someone who is fair and tender. The audience presumes that she is an obedient woman forced by Othello to do whatever he pleases. So the audience’s initial perception of her came from Iago and is supported by Brabantio’s view: “perfection.”

Like Othello, Desdemona contradicts early descriptions of her character when she first appears in the play. Her father tells us that she is a “jewel.”Shakespeare uses this word because in Elizabethan times, a jewel usually referred to virginity or possession. He also describes her as ‘a maiden never bold/ of spirit.’ [don't forget to keep it double quotes if you have them elsewhere] It seems to Brabantio that she is modest, opposed to marriage and afraid to look on Othello. Brabantio’s language about Desdemona is idealised and he might be remembering her from her earlier years. She emerges from his description as an innocent, shrinking, girlish figure, so the audience is unprepared for the forthright, brave young woman we see in the senate scenes. When we hear this, we still presume that Desdemona is a passive victim and a woman of fragility. However, we hear a more believable account about Desdemona from Othello.

When we first hear his description, it is of her taking a hand in determining her destiny. He describes their courtship: “But still the house affairs would draw her thence; She’d come again, and with a greedy ear Devour up my discourse.” So she is distracted from her housework by Othello’s account. Desdemona becomes fascinated with Othello’s life and she tries to come back as often as she can. The image of a “greedy ear” stresses how keen she is. She becomes increasingly emotionally involved and she asks him to tell her more about his life. She is easily moved to tears of compassion and “wished she had not heard it, yet she wished That heaven had made her such a man.” So the audience sees her as young woman living a sheltered, routine existence, emotionally [did you want to say 'emotionally' again here so soon? You could actually get rid of 'emotionally' here and it would sound fine.] susceptible to the glamour and sense of adventure Othello brings to her life. We see her also as someone easily roused to pity and compassion, which led to her falling in love. We hear about her change quickly, so we can presume she is extremely decisive and wilful. However, there is some truth in Iago and Brabantio’s accounts about her character. An Elizabethan audience would be shocked at her falling in love with someone who was a “Moor.”

Desdemona’s carefully chosen, articulated words concerning a daughter’s conflicting duties towards her father and the man she loves, echoes in other Shakespearean plays such as "King Lear" and "Romeo and Juliet." “I do perceive here a divided duty…My life and education both do learn me How to respect you…as my mother show’d To you, preferring you before her father… I challenge that I may profess Due to the Moor my lord.” Her speech shows her thoughtfulness; she does not insist on her loyalty to Othello at the expense of respect for her father, but rather acknowledges that her duty is “divided.” Because Desdemona is brave enough to stand up to her father, and even partially rejects him in public, these words establish her courage and strength of conviction. She uses her words for different types of affection, which will [unneeded] makes her seek, without hesitation, to help Cassio, thereby fuelling Othello’s jealousy. At first, she is a heroine in Venice, but her father’s last words to Othello “She may deceive thee” creates a sinister tone. The audience would be amazed by her love towards Othello, but further so because she has ordered the senate to do what she desires.

When we compare Desdemona in Venice and then in Cyprus, we see that she is more assertive in one than the other. Because she asks the senate “Let me go with him” as she loves Othello, however in Cyprus, she is strong-willed at first but as Iago makes Othello more insane, she becomes weaker: “An unkind breach…I will not stay to offend you.” Shakespeare uses this structure because to show the gradual change from a liberated maiden to an inert victim. It could be said that it is overly dramatic. When Desdemona and Cassio are being flirtatious, Iago changes his speech from blank verse to prose, a style used for a different target-audience and in certain situations. Perhaps Shakespeare wanted the audience to perceive her as a woman of respect, yet easily preyed upon. This sudden change from the passive victim to the assertive heroine appears to be overly dramatic at the start of Act 2, as she becomes worried about Othello and a few minutes later becomes flirtatious. Iago uses the idea of “He takes her by the palm…Well kissed” to make Othello jealous and to make Cassio and Desdemona seem like lovers so Iago can remove Cassio for all the mockery he has bestowed upon him. It also gets rid of Desdemona, so Othello will be mortified. Shakespeare might have portrayed Desdemona as a woman, who can keep all of Othello’s status and power because she is a daughter of Brabantio.

I didn't see any questions within the text. I did notice that 'active voice' and 'parallel construction' were left in the piece within parentheses.

Active voice is the subject of the sentence is the one doing something, for example: 'Billy took the cake' instead of 'the cake was taken by Billy.'

Parallel construction is the balance of two or more words, phrases or clauses. For example: Instead of 'Billy likes eating, sparring and to ride bikes' it should be 'Billy likes eating, sparring and riding bikes' or 'Billy likes to eat, to spar and to ride bikes.' It's just for readability.

Everything seems flowing now in this part. I don't know when I'll be able to look at the rest. Hopefully soon. I really am learning a lot about this play. If you have any other questions, please just PM me. I check my messages periodically.

Devon
__________________
May the demons in my novel never darken your doorstep . . .
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
.
Visit:

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
. What's it to ya?
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
- NOW OPEN!

Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 03-28-2008, 02:31 AM
Blooming (Offline)
Abnormally Articulate
Official Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Eastbourne, England
Posts: 125
Thanks: 0
Thanks 0
Send a message via AIM to Blooming Send a message via MSN to Blooming
Default

It can be suggested that Shakespeare's Desdemona is a passive victim, but when we focus on the first act of Othello, we see an assertive heroine. This is a contradiction. Throughout the play we see a gradual change from a self-confident protagonist to an obedient woman. Her development is quite plausible in some respects; however, at different times in the play, these changes maybe overly-dramatic. The characters’ various viewpoints about Desdemona lead the audience to imagine and anticipate what she is like. Shakespeare presents her as a paradoxical character: first a woman of authority who can take control quite easily and later as an innocent maiden. Desdemona is an influential and complex character; perhaps this explains why the play has been enjoyed for 400 years.

When Iago describes Desdemona in the play’s opening moments, he tells Brabantio: “you’re robb’d…you have lost half your soul… an old black ram Is tupping your white ewe” and when he describes her to Othello, he insults her further as his language is peppered with coarse, sexual imagery. However, in Iago’s second soliloquy in 2:1, he compliments her and tells the audience in blank verse, the style often adopted by high class characters, the truth of how he truly thinks about her : “Now I do love her too; Not out of absolute lust.” He has no reason to lie at this point, as he confides in the audience. Shakespeare describes her as a “white ewe”; this presents her as an animal, but someone who is fair and tender. The audience presumes that she is an obedient woman forced by Othello to do whatever he pleases. So the audience’s initial perception of her came from Iago and is supported by Brabantio’s view: “perfection.”

Like Othello, Desdemona contradicts early descriptions of her character when she first appears in the play. Her father tells us that she is a “jewel.”Shakespeare uses this word because in Elizabethan times, a jewel usually referred to virginity or possession. He also describes her as “a maiden never bold/ of spirit.” It seems to Brabantio that she is modest, opposed to marriage and afraid to look on Othello. Brabantio’s language about Desdemona is idealised and he might be remembering her from her earlier years. She emerges from his description as an innocent, shrinking, girlish figure, so the audience is unprepared for the forthright, brave young woman we see in the senate scenes. When we hear this, we still presume that Desdemona is a passive victim and a woman of fragility. However, we hear a more believable account about Desdemona from Othello.

When we first hear his description, it is of her taking a hand in determining her destiny. He describes their courtship: “But still the house affairs would draw her thence; She’d come again, and with a greedy ear Devour up my discourse.” So she is distracted from her housework by Othello’s account. Desdemona becomes fascinated with Othello’s life and she tries to come back as often as she can. The image of a “greedy ear” stresses how keen she is. She becomes increasingly emotionally involved and she asks him to tell her more about his life. She is easily moved to tears of compassion and “wished she had not heard it, yet she wished That heaven had made her such a man.” So the audience sees her as young woman living a sheltered, routine existence, susceptible to the glamour and sense of adventure Othello brings to her life. We see her also as someone easily roused to pity and compassion, which led to her falling in love. We hear about her change quickly, so we can presume she is extremely decisive and wilful. However, there is some truth in Iago and Brabantio’s accounts about her character. An Elizabethan audience would be shocked at her falling in love with someone who was a “Moor.”

Desdemona’s carefully chosen, articulated words concerning a daughter’s conflicting duties towards her father and the man she loves, echoes in other Shakespearean plays such as "King Lear" and "Romeo and Juliet." “I do perceive here a divided duty…My life and education both do learn me How to respect you…as my mother show’d To you, preferring you before her father… I challenge that I may profess Due to the Moor my lord.” Her speech shows her thoughtfulness; she does not insist on her loyalty to Othello at the expense of respect for her father, but rather acknowledges that her duty is “divided.” Because Desdemona is brave enough to stand up to her father, and even partially rejects him in public, these words establish her courage and strength of conviction. She uses her words for different types of affection, which makes her seek, without hesitation, to help Cassio, thereby fuelling Othello’s jealousy. At first, she is a heroine in Venice, but her father’s last words to Othello “She may deceive thee” creates a sinister tone. The audience would be amazed by her love towards Othello, but further so because she has ordered the senate to do what she desires.

When we compare Desdemona in Venice and then in Cyprus, we see that she is more assertive in one than the other. Because she asks the senate “Let me go with him” as she loves Othello, however in Cyprus, she is strong-willed at first but as Iago makes Othello more insane, she becomes weaker: “An unkind breach…I will not stay to offend you.” Shakespeare uses this structure because to show the gradual change from a liberated maiden to an inert victim. It could be said that it is overly dramatic. When Desdemona and Cassio are being flirtatious, Iago changes his speech from blank verse to prose, a style used for a different target-audience and in certain situations. Perhaps Shakespeare wanted the audience to perceive her as a woman of respect, yet easily preyed upon. This sudden change from the passive victim to the assertive heroine appears to be overly dramatic at the start of Act 2, as she becomes worried about Othello and a few minutes later becomes flirtatious. Iago uses the idea of “He takes her by the palm…Well kissed” to make Othello jealous and to make Cassio and Desdemona seem like lovers so Iago can remove Cassio for all the mockery he has bestowed upon him. It also gets rid of Desdemona, so Othello will be mortified. Shakespeare might have portrayed Desdemona as a woman, who can keep all of Othello’s status and power because she is a daughter of Brabantio.

Without the comments anymore. Anyway, I don't know how to fix the introduction, do you think you can help me suggest how I can fix it.

Anyway thanks.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 03-28-2008, 05:17 AM
Devon's Avatar
Devon (Offline)
Guard Dog and Playful Pup
Head SPaG Ninja
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: In the ether of my imagination
Posts: 10,209
Thanks: 710
Thanks 1,483
Default

Looks good. You ought to take the opening line and ask for opinions/suggestions for possible stronger change in the Writing Help and Issues forum here: http://forums.writersbeat.com/forumdisplay.php?f=89

You might get people telling you that it sounds all right, which very much might be the case (and don't worry if that happens; just leave the line as it is), or you might get a plethora of suggestions from which to choose. Several minds are better than just one or two (in cases like this) since people have different perspectives on issues.

Btw, in the fourth line, first paragraph: 'maybe' should be 'may be.'

Devon
__________________
May the demons in my novel never darken your doorstep . . .
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
.
Visit:

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
. What's it to ya?
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
- NOW OPEN!

Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 03-28-2008, 06:03 AM
Blooming (Offline)
Abnormally Articulate
Official Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Eastbourne, England
Posts: 125
Thanks: 0
Thanks 0
Send a message via AIM to Blooming Send a message via MSN to Blooming
Default

Okay, you have helped me so much, how can I ever repay you?
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 03-29-2008, 04:06 AM
Blooming (Offline)
Abnormally Articulate
Official Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Eastbourne, England
Posts: 125
Thanks: 0
Thanks 0
Send a message via AIM to Blooming Send a message via MSN to Blooming
Default

The character of Shakespeare's Desdemona is a study in contrasts as she gradually changes from an assertive woman to a passive victim. Throughout the play we see a gradual change from a self-confident protagonist to an obedient woman. Her development is quite plausible in some respects; however, at different times in the play, these changes may be overly dramatic. The characters’ various viewpoints about Desdemona lead the audience to imagine and anticipate what she is like. Shakespeare presents her as a paradoxical character: first a woman of authority who can take control quite easily and later as an innocent maiden. Desdemona is an influential and complex character; perhaps this explains why the play has been enjoyed for 400 years.

When Iago describes Desdemona in the play’s opening moments, he tells Brabantio: “you’re robb’d…you have lost half your soul… an old black ram Is tupping your white ewe” and when he describes her to Othello, he insults her further as his language is peppered with coarse, sexual imagery. However, in Iago’s second soliloquy in 2:1, he compliments her and tells the audience in blank verse, the style often adopted by high class characters, the truth of how he truly thinks about her : “Now I do love her too; Not out of absolute lust.” He has no reason to lie at this point, as he confides in the audience. Shakespeare describes her as a “white ewe”; this presents her as an animal, but someone who is fair and tender. The audience presumes that she is an obedient woman forced by Othello to do whatever he pleases. Therefore the audience’s initial perception of her came from Iago and is supported by Brabantio’s view of: “perfection.”

Like Othello, Desdemona contradicts early descriptions of her character after she first appears in the play. Her father tells us that she is a “jewel.”Shakespeare uses this word because in Elizabethan times, a jewel usually referred to virginity or possession. He also describes her as “a maiden never bold/ of spirit.” It seems to Brabantio that she is modest, opposed to marriage and afraid to look on Othello. Brabantio’s language about Desdemona is idealised and he might be remembering her from her earlier years. She emerges from his description as an innocent, shrinking, girlish figure, making the audience unprepared for the forthright, brave young woman seen in the senate scenes. When heard, there is still a presumption that Desdemona is a passive victim - a woman of fragility. However, a more believable account is heard about Desdemona from Othello.

When we first hear his description, it is of her taking a hand in determining her destiny. He describes their courtship: “But still the house affairs would draw her thence; She’d come again, and with a greedy ear Devour up my discourse.” Thus she is distracted from her housework by Othello’s account. Desdemona becomes fascinated with Othello’s life and she tries to come back as often as she can. The image of a “greedy ear” stresses how keen she is. She becomes increasingly emotionally involved and she asks him to tell her more about his life. She is easily moved to tears of compassion and “wished she had not heard it, yet she wished That heaven had made her such a man.” Hence the audience sees her as young woman living a sheltered, routine existence, susceptible to the glamour and sense of adventure Othello brings to her life. We see her also as someone easily roused to pity and compassion, which led to her falling in love. We hear about her change quickly, subsequently we can presume she is extremely decisive and wilful. However, there is some truth in Iago and Brabantio’s accounts about her character. An Elizabethan audience would be shocked at her falling in love with someone who was a “Moor.”

Desdemona’s carefully chosen, articulated words concerning a daughter’s conflicting duties towards her father and the man she loves, echoes in other Shakespearean plays such as "King Lear" and "Romeo and Juliet." “I do perceive here a divided duty…My life and education both do learn me How to respect you…as my mother show’d To you, preferring you before her father… I challenge that I may profess Due to the Moor my lord.” Her speech shows her thoughtfulness; she does not insist on her loyalty to Othello at the expense of respect for her father, but rather acknowledges that her duty is “divided.” Because Desdemona is brave enough to stand up to her father, and even partially rejects him in public, these words establish her courage and strength of conviction. She uses her words for different types of affection, which makes her seek, without hesitation, to help Cassio, thereby fuelling Othello’s jealousy. At first, she is a heroine in Venice, but her father’s last words to Othello “She may deceive thee” creates a sinister tone. The audience would be amazed by her love towards Othello, but further so because she has ordered the senate to do what she desires.

When we compare Desdemona in Venice and then in Cyprus, we see that she is more assertive in one than the other. Because she asks the senate “Let me go with him” as she loves Othello, however in Cyprus, she is strong-willed at first but as Iago makes Othello more insane, she becomes weaker: “An unkind breach…I will not stay to offend you.” Shakespeare uses this structure because to show the gradual change from a liberated maiden to an inert victim. It could be said that it is overly dramatic. When Desdemona and Cassio are being flirtatious, Iago changes his speech from blank verse to prose, a style used for a different target-audience and in certain situations. Perhaps Shakespeare wanted the audience to perceive her as a woman of respect, yet easily preyed upon. This sudden change from the passive victim to the assertive heroine appears to be overly dramatic at the start of Act 2, as she becomes worried about Othello and a few minutes later becomes flirtatious. Iago uses the idea of “He takes her by the palm…Well kissed” to make Othello jealous and to persuade Othello that Cassio and Desdemona are lovers. Iago does this, as he can remove Cassio for all the mockery he has bestowed upon him. It also gets rid of Desdemona, hence Othello will be mortified which Iago desires. Shakespeare might have portrayed Desdemona as a woman, who can keep all of Othello’s status and power because she is a daughter of Brabantio.


I changed part of it here. I hope someone can fix this grammar and change the 'we' to something else. Also I replaced most of so. To make it look professional. Thank you.

Last edited by Blooming; 03-30-2008 at 05:05 AM..
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 04-01-2008, 02:40 AM
Devon's Avatar
Devon (Offline)
Guard Dog and Playful Pup
Head SPaG Ninja
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: In the ether of my imagination
Posts: 10,209
Thanks: 710
Thanks 1,483
Default

I'm confused. Which version am I supposed to be looking at now? The one in the first post or the one in the very last post where you ask us for help changing the word 'we'?
__________________
May the demons in my novel never darken your doorstep . . .
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
.
Visit:

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
. What's it to ya?
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
- NOW OPEN!

Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 04-01-2008, 04:38 AM
Blooming (Offline)
Abnormally Articulate
Official Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Eastbourne, England
Posts: 125
Thanks: 0
Thanks 0
Send a message via AIM to Blooming Send a message via MSN to Blooming
Default

Oh the first and main post. While trying to change we into something like I don't know readers or audience. Sorry, the first and main post again.
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 04-04-2008, 09:13 PM
Devon's Avatar
Devon (Offline)
Guard Dog and Playful Pup
Head SPaG Ninja
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: In the ether of my imagination
Posts: 10,209
Thanks: 710
Thanks 1,483
Default

Originally Posted by Blooming View Post
The character of Shakespeare's Desdemona is a study in contrasts as she gradually changes from an assertive heroine to a passive victim. Her development is quite plausible in some respects; however, at different times in the play, these changes may be overly dramatic. The characters’ various viewpoints about Desdemona lead the audience to imagine and anticipate what she is like. Shakespeare presents her as a paradoxical character: first a woman of authority who can take control quite easily and later as an innocent maiden. Desdemona is an influential and complex character; [Here you could just say: is influential and complex] perhaps this explains why the play has been enjoyed for 400 years.

When Iago describes Desdemona in the play’s opening moments, he tells Brabantio: “you’re robb’d…you have lost half your soul… an old black ram Is tupping your white ewe” and when he describes her to Othello, he insults her further as his language is peppered with coarse, sexual imagery. However, in Iago’s second soliloquy in 2:1, he compliments her and tells the audience in blank verse, the style often adopted by high class characters, the truth of how he truly thinks about her : “Now I do love her too; Not out of absolute lust.” He has no reason to lie at this point, [no comma] as he confides in the audience. Shakespeare describes her as a “white ewe”; this presents her as an animal, but someone who is fair and tender. The audience presumes that she is an obedient woman forced by Othello to do whatever he pleases. Therefore the audience’s initial perception of her came from Iago and is supported by Brabantio’s view of: “perfection.”

Like Othello, Desdemona contradicts early descriptions of her character after she first appears in the play. Her father tells us that she is a “jewel.”Shakespeare uses this word because in Elizabethan times, a jewel usually referred to virginity or possession. He also describes her as “a maiden never bold/ of spirit.” It seems to Brabantio that she is modest, opposed to marriage and afraid to look on Othello. Brabantio’s language about Desdemona is idealised and he might be remembering her from her earlier years. She emerges from his description as an innocent, shrinking, girlish figure, making the audience unprepared for the forthright, brave young woman seen in the senate scenes. When heard, there is still a presumption that Desdemona is a compliant daughter-a woman of fragility. However, a more believable account is heard about Desdemona from Othello.

When we first hear his description, it is of her taking a hand in determining her destiny. He describes their courtship: “But still the house affairs would draw her thence; She’d come again, and with a greedy ear Devour up my discourse.” Thus she is distracted from her housework by Othello’s account. Desdemona becomes fascinated with Othello’s life and she tries to come back as often as she can. The image of a “greedy ear” stresses how keen she is. She becomes increasingly emotionally involved and she asks him to tell her more about his life. She is easily moved to tears of compassion and “wished she had not heard it, yet she wished That heaven had made her such a man.” Hence the audience sees her as young woman living a sheltered, routine existence, susceptible to the glamour and sense of adventure Othello brings to her life. We see her also as someone easily roused to pity and compassion, which led to her falling in love. We hear about her change quickly, subsequently we can presume she is extremely decisive and wilful. However, there is some truth in Iago and Brabantio’s accounts about her character. An Elizabethan audience would be shocked at her falling in love with someone who was a “Moor.”


Desdemona’s carefully chosen, articulated words concerning a daughter’s conflicting duties towards her father and the man she loves, echoes in other Shakespearean plays such as "King Lear" and "Romeo and Juliet." “I do perceive here a divided duty…My life and education both do learn me How to respect you…as my mother show’d To you, preferring you before her father… I challenge that I may profess Due to the Moor my lord.” Her speech shows her thoughtfulness; she does not insist on her loyalty to Othello at the expense of respect for her father, but rather acknowledges that her duty is “divided.” Because Desdemona is brave enough to stand up to her father, and even partially rejects him in public, these words establish her courage and strength of conviction. She uses her words for different types of affection, which makes her seek, without hesitation, to help Cassio, thereby fuelling Othello’s jealousy. At first, she is a politician in Venice; [comma] but her father’s last words to Othello, She may deceive thee”. [you don't need these in italics since you don't have the others in italics, nor do you need the period after the quotes] creates a sinister tone. The audience would be shocked at her love towards Othello, but further so because she has ordered the senate to do what she desires.


When we compare Desdemona in Venice and then in Cyprus, we see that she is more assertive in one than the other. Because [unneeded] she asks the senate “Let me go with him” as she loves Othello, [semicolon] however [comma] in Cyprus, she is strong-willed at first [comma] but as Iago makes Othello more insane, she becomes weaker: “An unkind breach…I will not stay to offend you.” Shakespeare uses this structure because [unneeded] to show the gradual change from a liberated maiden to an inert [this sounds strange here] victim. It could be said that it is overly dramatic. [You could actually take this out] When Desdemona and Cassio are being flirtatious, Iago changes his speech from blank verse to prose, a style used for a different target-audience and in certain situations. Perhaps Shakespeare wanted the audience to perceive her as a woman of respect, yet easily preyed upon. This sudden change from the docile lover to the strong-willed protagonist appears to be overly dramatic at the start of Act 2, as she becomes worried about Othello and a few minutes later becomes flirtatious. Iago uses the idea of “He takes her by the palm…Well kissed” to make Othello jealous and to persuade Othello that Cassio and Desdemona are lovers. Iago does this, as he can remove Cassio for all the mockery he has bestowed upon him. It also gets rid of Desdemona, hence Othello will be mortified [comma] in [unneeded] which Iago desires. Shakespeare might have portrayed Desdemona as a woman, [no comma]who can keep all of Othello’s status and power because she is a daughter of Brabantio.


Her development through the play is crucial. Shakespeare uses the motif of sight, [no comma] when Desdemona asks to be allowed to accompany Othello to Cyprus, [period] She says that she “saw Othello’s visage in his mind/ And to his honours and his valiant parts / Did I my soul and fortunes consecrate” .[No italics and period within quotes] She has the power to see him, [no comma] in a way that even Othello himself cannot. Later on the play, Othello believes that Desdemona is a “strumpet” [no italics and a comma] however [though] he has not seen Desdemona be strumpet. [one] Shakespeare portrays a contradiction between Desdemona and Othello as she can see him in a pure and warm light [comma] but by the Elizabethan audience and other characters a “Moor”. [no italics and comma inside quotes] In contrast [comma] to, [unneeded] Othello sees her as a “whore[no italics] but the audience sees her as a “fair[no italics] lady. She is described in Cyprus as “general” and “fair warrior”. [no italics for either and period within quotes] Shakespeare uses this language to make her appear proud and independent; however [comma] these qualities lead to her downfall. She reaches the peak of her assertiveness: “This is a trick to put me from my suit… You’ll never meet a more sufficient man”. [no italics and comma inside quotes] Desdemona is being courageous, as she is trying to reinstate Cassio. Nonetheless, when the handkerchief, one of the most important symbols in the play [comma] is taken, she changes from the self-confident woman to the deferential wife in the play. [unneeded] The audience would sympathise with Desdemona, as she is someone who is trying to find the handkerchief [comma] because it represents her virginity, fidelity, love, trust and marriage towards Othello. Shakespeare implies Desdemona’s weakness at this point and to prove that love is magical but flawed, “There is magic in the web/Away” [no italics and period within quotes] He uses the handkerchief as a symbol to the audience, as it foreshadows the ending of their marriage and the beginning of the climax which is [unneeded] leading her to her own demise. Shakespeare uses “magic” [no italics and comma within quotes] as the handkerchief reflects on a marriage between a Moor and a Venetian woman.


Her passivity is revealed later on the play; [period] The audience knows that Iago’s sinister plots are working, and the heroine becomes increasingly vulnerable and important in each scene that follows, [semicolon] for example [move this to the end of the sentence] when she is slapped and ridiculed by her husband. The audience finds it shocking and she says herself that she does “not deserve this” [no italics] humiliating public degradation. However, she does not respond with anger, but instead begins to “weep”. [no italics and period within quotes] Shakespeare uses that as stage directions to make it more obvious towards [did you mean 'to'?] the audience. She is undeniably becoming more flaccid, [that word doesn't fit here] however [but] she does react in a way which does makes us wonder, [no comma] if her change is really plausible: “I cannot weep, nor answers have I none But what should go by water.” [no italics] Shakespeare depicts that she is at her weakest point and she has lost her assertiveness. However, the greatest contrast to her early assertion is in 4:2, where [when] the audience joins the conversation in media res, [in medias res] Othello to Desdemona as though she is a prostitute, while Emilia is her bawd. Shakespeare is trying to prove that, [no comma] we need more than one proof, [no comma] before we leap to a conclusion. The imagery of “rose-lipped cherubin” and “weed… fair” [no italics for either of those] refers to Desdemona, and Shakespeare might have used this imagery because Othello might initially have [reverse these] thought of her as a beautiful woman and someone who will love him forever. Shakespeare uses an oxymoron with “weed” and “fair” [no italics for either of those] for a rhetorical effect to the audience, [period] It would make us sympathise with Desdemona due to her being “fair” but not a “weed”. [no italics for either of those and period within quotes] We could say that in the beginning of this scene, she acts as a strong-minded woman because she bravely tries to defend herself against Othello’s accusations. But as Othello becomes furious, the audience may notice that Desdemona will turn into the atypical submissive woman to prove to Othello that she loves him dearly. Desdemona describes herself as a “preserve this vessel for my lord”, [no italics and comma within quotes] Shakespeare uses “vessel”, [no italics and comma within quotes] as it refers to her loyalty towards Othello.


Her death is one of the greatest and most melancholy moments of the play. As Desdemona predicts her own demise, she believes that she will have a similar fate to her maid Barbary. She orders Emilia wedding-sheets to be on her bed and she sings the song “Willow”. [no italics and period within quotes] Shakespeare uses “Willow”, [no italics and comma within quotes] to reflect on Desdemona’s sadness and the point towards death. She does not seek to blame her husband for these faults. Desdemona uses “ If I do die before thee, prithee shroud me In one of these same sheets”, [no italics and comma within quotes] Shakespeare uses “shroud”, [no italics and comma within quotes] as it adds an ominous effect, as [since] the Elizabethans believed, [no comma] that it led to death. When, [no comma] Desdemona is revived momentary, [momentarily] she forgives Othello [comma] which makes the audience try to forgive him. “Commend me to my kind lord”, [no italics and semicolon outside quotes] she is the mediator between us and Othello. Shakespeare makes Desdemona a loyal wife towards Othello and the language Desdemona use [uses] is extremely forgiving. Her death reveals everything to the audience. Shakespeare might be implying that friendships are extremely valuable and how much we should cherish them. “An odious damned lie…I will not charm my tongue.” [no italics] Her death was caused by the jealously of her husband [period] and [unneeded] This tells us that her change is quite plausible, as she accepts her fate, but tries to fight against it. However, her attempts [Her attempts, however,] do not succeed and she perishes. Even though, [no comma] she dies, she comes back to life [comma] which goes against fate and she continues to try to save her husband.


To conclude, [You don't really need this unless it's specifically asked for. It's kind of like putting 'the end' at the end of something, when obviously it is the end.] Shakespeare makes Desdemona’s changes quite conceivable, but in other parts of the play it can be said to be overdramatic and paradoxical. [You could reword this sentence a bit: Shakespeare makes Desdemona's changes quite conceivable in some parts of the play and paradoxical in others.] The audience might have believed that she is a courageous lady because she has tried to reinstate Cassio while keeping her marriage stable. Nevertheless, it can be said [this makes the sentence weak] that the marriage becomes unstable and that her death is impending. Her change is partly explained why this play has been enjoyed for 400 years and why she is such an interesting character. [The ending doesn't seem quite like an ending, specifically the last sentence. There's a sense of wrapping up in that you encapsulate the 'overall,' but there feels like there's something missing]

Couldn't sleep tonight (it's now one a.m. here!), so I figured I would have at the rest of this piece. Once you've made the changes throughout, I'll take a quick scan though to see if there's anything that could be made tighter.

You could have applied some of what I'd pointed out in the beginning part to the rest of the piece while you were waiting for me to get back to this. I was surprised to see that the quoted material was still in italics, with the periods and commas outside the end quote marks.

Anyway, let me know when you've made the changes and I'll be back. Just be patient. I do have a baby to take care of.

Devon
__________________
May the demons in my novel never darken your doorstep . . .
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
.
Visit:

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
. What's it to ya?
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
- NOW OPEN!

Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 04-05-2008, 04:39 AM
Blooming (Offline)
Abnormally Articulate
Official Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Eastbourne, England
Posts: 125
Thanks: 0
Thanks 0
Send a message via AIM to Blooming Send a message via MSN to Blooming
Default

Thank you so much for all of your help.
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 04-06-2008, 04:58 PM
Devon's Avatar
Devon (Offline)
Guard Dog and Playful Pup
Head SPaG Ninja
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: In the ether of my imagination
Posts: 10,209
Thanks: 710
Thanks 1,483
Default

A quick pop in to say 'you're welcome.' And don't worry about repaying me.
__________________
May the demons in my novel never darken your doorstep . . .
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
.
Visit:

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
. What's it to ya?
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
- NOW OPEN!

Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 04-08-2008, 02:01 AM
Blooming (Offline)
Abnormally Articulate
Official Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Eastbourne, England
Posts: 125
Thanks: 0
Thanks 0
Send a message via AIM to Blooming Send a message via MSN to Blooming
Default

Really, okay. Is your son okay? Also did you read my PMs as well if you could help me to finish this. Did I mention jealously and gave evidence for Desdemona's assertive courage, like unremitting please for Cassio's reinstatement. It also indicates her loyalty which she later shows for Othello.

Also this part

she changes from the self-confident woman to the deferential wife in the play. [unneeded]
Do you want me to get rid of self-confident?

Last edited by Blooming; 04-08-2008 at 02:16 AM..
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 04-08-2008, 12:48 PM
Devon's Avatar
Devon (Offline)
Guard Dog and Playful Pup
Head SPaG Ninja
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: In the ether of my imagination
Posts: 10,209
Thanks: 710
Thanks 1,483
Default

Hi Blooming. Quick note: don't get rid of self-confident. It's hyphenated (you didn't have it hyphenated originally). It's 'in the play' you don't need.

My son's better, thank you. He had to be sent to the hospital because he couldn't hold down fluids, but he's doing well now. I've caught a mild case of what he had and I feel blegh. I'm hoping my daughter doesn't get it.

I say if you're really concerned about the conclusion, put it into Writing Help and Issues forum and see if anyone can come up with something for you. I don't think I'd be able to help a least for another few days. (I'm going to my grandmother's funeral on Friday if I feel well enough, so . . . yeah, one thing after another here!)

Talk to you later,

Devon
__________________
May the demons in my novel never darken your doorstep . . .
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
.
Visit:

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
. What's it to ya?
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
- NOW OPEN!

Reply With Quote
  #16  
Old 04-08-2008, 12:54 PM
Blooming (Offline)
Abnormally Articulate
Official Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Eastbourne, England
Posts: 125
Thanks: 0
Thanks 0
Send a message via AIM to Blooming Send a message via MSN to Blooming
Default

Oh I am so sorry, I feel really bad about all of this. I feel gulity, for being a problem. Also thank you for answering, also did I mention jealously, also did show evidence of Desdemona's assertiveness.
Reply With Quote
  #17  
Old 04-12-2008, 05:45 PM
Devon's Avatar
Devon (Offline)
Guard Dog and Playful Pup
Head SPaG Ninja
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: In the ether of my imagination
Posts: 10,209
Thanks: 710
Thanks 1,483
Default

Final read-through!

Originally Posted by Blooming View Post
The character of Shakespeare's Desdemona is a study in contrasts as she gradually changes from an assertive woman to a passive victim. Her development is quite plausible in some respects; however, at different times in the play, these changes may be overly dramatic. The characters’ various viewpoints about Desdemona lead the audience to imagine and anticipate what she is like. Shakespeare presents her as a paradoxical character: first a woman of authority who can take control quite easily and later as an innocent maiden. Desdemona is influential and complex; perhaps this explains why the play has been enjoyed for 400 years.

When Iago describes Desdemona in the play’s opening moments, he tells Brabantio: “you’re robb’d…you have lost half your soul… an old black ram Is tupping your white ewe” and when he describes her to Othello, he insults her further as his language is peppered with coarse, sexual imagery. However, in Iago’s second soliloquy in 2:1, he compliments her and tells the audience in blank verse, the style often adopted by high class characters, the truth of how he truly thinks about her: [what he truly thinks about her] “Now I do love her too; Not out of absolute lust.” He has no reason to lie at this point as he confides in the audience. Shakespeare describes her as a “white ewe”; this presents her as an animal, but someone who is fair and tender. The audience presumes that she is an obedient woman forced by Othello to do whatever he pleases. Therefore [comma] the audience’s initial perception of her came from Iago and is supported by Brabantio’s view of: [no semicolon] “perfection.”

When we first hear his description, it is of her taking a hand in determining her destiny. He describes their courtship: “But still the house affairs would draw her thence; She’d come again, and with a greedy ear Devour up my discourse.” Thus she is distracted from her housework by Othello’s account. Desdemona becomes fascinated with Othello’s life and she tries to come back as often as she can. The image of a “greedy ear” stresses how keen she is. She becomes increasingly emotionally involved and she asks him to tell her more about his life. She is easily moved to tears of compassion and “wished she had not heard it, yet she wished That heaven had made her such a man.” Hence the audience sees her as young woman living a sheltered, routine existence, susceptible to the glamour and sense of adventure Othello brings to her life. We see her also as someone easily roused to pity and compassion, which led to her falling in love. We hear about her change quickly, subsequently we can presume she is extremely decisive and wilful. [comma and 'though' instead of 'however'] However, there is some truth in Iago and Brabantio’s accounts about her character. An Elizabethan audience would be shocked at her falling in love with someone who was a “Moor.”

Desdemona’s carefully chosen, articulated words concerning a daughter’s conflicting duties towards her father and the man she loves, [no comma] echoes in other Shakespearean plays such as "King Lear" and "Romeo and Juliet." “I do perceive here a divided duty…My life and education both do learn me How to respect you…as my mother show’d To you, preferring you before her father… I challenge that I may profess Due to the Moor my lord.” Her speech shows her thoughtfulness; she does not insist on her loyalty to Othello at the expense of respect for her father, but rather acknowledges that her duty is “divided.” Because Desdemona is brave enough to stand up to her father, and even partially rejects him in public, these words establish her courage and strength of conviction. She uses her words for different types of affection, which makes her seek, without hesitation, to help Cassio, thereby fuelling Othello’s jealousy. At first, she is a politician in Venice, but her father’s last words to Othello, [no comma] “She may deceive thee.” [no period] creates a sinister tone. The audience would be shocked at [by] her love towards Othello, but further so because she has ordered the senate to do what she desires.

When we compare Desdemona in Venice and then in Cyprus, we see that she is more assertive in one more [take this 'more' out] than the other. She asks the senate “Let me go with him” as she loves Othello; however, in Cyprus, she is strong-willed at first, but as Iago makes Othello more insane, she becomes weaker: “An unkind breach…I will not stay to offend you.” Shakespeare uses this structure to show the gradual change from a liberated maiden to an innocent victim. When Desdemona and Cassio are being flirtatious, Iago changes his speech from blank verse to prose, a style used for a different target-audience and in certain situations. Perhaps Shakespeare wanted the audience to perceive her as a woman of respect, yet easily preyed upon. This sudden change from the docile lover to the strong-willed protagonist appears to be overly dramatic at the start of Act 2, as she becomes worried about Othello and a few minutes later becomes flirtatious. Iago uses the idea of “He takes her by the palm…Well kissed” to make Othello jealous and to persuade Othello that Cassio and Desdemona are lovers. Iago does this, as he can remove Cassio for all the mockery he has bestowed upon him. It also gets rid of Desdemona, hence Othello will be mortified, which Iago desires. Shakespeare might have portrayed Desdemona as a woman who can keep all of Othello’s status and power because she is a daughter of Brabantio.

Her development through the play is crucial. Shakespeare uses the motif of sight when Desdemona asks to be allowed to accompany Othello to Cyprus. She says that she “saw Othello’s visage in his mind / And to his honours and his valiant parts / Did I my soul and fortunes consecrate.” She has the power to see him in a way that even Othello himself cannot. Later on the play, Othello believes that Desdemona is a “strumpet”, [comma inside quotes] though he has not seen Desdemona be one. Shakespeare portrays a contradiction between Desdemona and Othello as she can see him in a pure and warm light, but by the Elizabethan audience and other characters [as] a “Moor,” [period] In contrast, Othello sees her as a “whore” but the audience sees her as a “fair” lady. She is described in Cyprus as “general” and [a] “fair warrior.” Shakespeare uses this language to make her appear proud and independent; however, these qualities lead to her downfall. She reaches the peak of her assertiveness: “This is a trick to put me from my suit… You’ll never meet a more sufficient man.” Desdemona is being courageous, as she is trying to reinstate Cassio. Nonetheless, when the handkerchief, one of the most important symbols in the play, is taken, she changes from the self-confident woman to the deferential wife. The audience would sympathise with Desdemona, as she is someone who is trying to find the handkerchief, because it represents her virginity, fidelity, love, trust and marriage towards Othello. Shakespeare implies Desdemona’s weakness at this point and to prove that love is magical but flawed, [colon] “There is magic in the web/Away.” He uses the handkerchief as a symbol to the audience, as it foreshadows the ending of their marriage and the beginning of the climax leading her to her own demise. Shakespeare uses “magic,” as the handkerchief reflects on a marriage between a Moor and a Venetian woman.

Her passivity is revealed later on the play. The audience knows that Iago’s sinister plots are working, and the heroine becomes increasingly vulnerable and important in each scene that follows; when she is slapped and ridiculed by her husband [comma] for example. The audience finds it shocking and she says herself that she does “not deserve this” humiliating public degradation. However, [take out this 'however' since you say 'however' later on. The sentence is fine without it] she does not respond with anger, but instead begins to “weep.” Shakespeare uses that as stage directions [this as a stage direction] to make it more obvious to the audience. She is undeniably becoming more unreceptive, but she does react in a way which does make us wonder, [no comma and 'that makes us wonder'] if her change is really plausible: “I cannot weep, nor answers have I none But what should go by water.” Shakespeare depicts that she is at her weakest point and she has lost her assertiveness. However, the greatest contrast to her early assertion is in 4:2, when the audience joins the conversation in medias res, Othello to Desdemona as though she is a prostitute, while Emilia is her bawd. Shakespeare is trying to prove that we need more than one proof before we leap to a conclusion. The imagery of “rose-lipped cherubin” and “weed… fair” refers to Desdemona, and Shakespeare might have used this imagery because Othello might reverse these thoughts of her as a beautiful woman and someone who will love him forever. Shakespeare uses an oxymoron with “weed” and “fair” for a rhetorical effect to the audience. It would make us sympathise with Desdemona due to her being “fair” but not a “weed.” We could say that in the beginning of this scene, she acts as a strong-minded woman because she bravely tries to defend herself against Othello’s accusations. But as Othello becomes furious, the audience may notice that Desdemona will turn into the atypical submissive woman to prove to Othello that she loves him dearly. Desdemona describes herself as a “preserve this vessel for my lord,” [period] Shakespeare uses “vessel”, [comma inside quotes] as it refers to her loyalty towards Othello.

Her death is one of the greatest and most melancholy moments of the play. As Desdemona predicts her own demise, she believes that she will have a similar fate to her maid Barbary. She orders Emilia wedding-sheets to be on her bed and she sings the song “Willow.” Shakespeare uses “Willow,” [no comma] to reflect on Desdemona’s sadness and the point towards death. She does not seek to blame her husband for these faults. Desdemona uses [semicolon] “ If I do die before thee, prithee shroud me In one of these same sheets,” [period] Shakespeare uses “shroud” as it adds an ominous effect, since the [unneeded] Elizabethans believed that it led to death. When Desdemona is revived momentarily [comma] she forgives Othello, which makes the audience try to forgive him. [semicolon instead of period] “Commend me to my kind lord,” [period] She is the mediator between us and Othello. Shakespeare makes Desdemona a loyal wife towards Othello and the language Desdemona uses is extremely forgiving. Her death reveals everything to the audience. Shakespeare might be implying that friendships are extremely valuable and how much we should cherish them. [semicolon] “An odious damned lie…I will not charm my tongue.” Her death was caused by the jealously [jealousy] of her husband. This tells us that her change is quite plausible, as she accepts her fate, but tries to fight against it. Her attempts, however, do not succeed and she perishes. Even though she dies, she comes back to life, which goes against fate and she continues to try to save her husband.


I think she is actually a strong character throughout the play, although she appears to have changed. The changes we see are on the surface only. Underneath, Desdemona is the same strong, determined, confident and self-possessed young woman she always was. Without that underlying strength of character, she would not have been able to face her death with such equanimity.

Sounds good, Blooming. Let me know how this gets received! Good luck.

Devon
__________________
May the demons in my novel never darken your doorstep . . .
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
.
Visit:

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
. What's it to ya?
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
- NOW OPEN!

Reply With Quote
  #18  
Old 04-13-2008, 02:15 AM
Blooming (Offline)
Abnormally Articulate
Official Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Eastbourne, England
Posts: 125
Thanks: 0
Thanks 0
Send a message via AIM to Blooming Send a message via MSN to Blooming
Default

Thanks for everything, you are the best. Intelligent and helpful, I want to be like you when I finish high school.
Reply With Quote
  #19  
Old 04-13-2008, 02:54 AM
Devon's Avatar
Devon (Offline)
Guard Dog and Playful Pup
Head SPaG Ninja
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: In the ether of my imagination
Posts: 10,209
Thanks: 710
Thanks 1,483
Default

You're very welcome. And thanks for the compliment.

Just let me know how you do on this. I'd be curious.

Devon
__________________
May the demons in my novel never darken your doorstep . . .
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
.
Visit:

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
. What's it to ya?
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
- NOW OPEN!

Reply With Quote
  #20  
Old 04-13-2008, 09:09 AM
Blooming (Offline)
Abnormally Articulate
Official Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Eastbourne, England
Posts: 125
Thanks: 0
Thanks 0
Send a message via AIM to Blooming Send a message via MSN to Blooming
Default

Was the conclusion okay? I was wondering about that. I am so happy that you and QOW helped me with this.
Reply With Quote
Reply

  WritersBeat.com > Write Here > Non-Fiction


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 07:16 AM.

vBulletin, Copyright © 2000-2006, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.