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Criticism needed. A my first eulogy speech, for my grandfathers funeral.

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Old 02-06-2013, 09:17 PM
Volvo802 (Offline)
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Icon7 Criticism needed. A my first eulogy speech, for my grandfathers funeral.


First post. I hope to frequent these boards. You all seem nice.

Anyway,
This is it, full glory of what I have so far. Don't hesitate to be heavy on the critique, or suggest additions. I want some honest reflections because this will be spoken in front of a hundred or so people. I'm 19, so don't expect any college level of writing, lol. Thank you in advance!


Hi there, Thank you for coming here today to celebrate and share the live of our amazing grandfather. For those who don’t know me, which I’m sure their may be a one or two of you out there in this crowd, my name is Jason xxx. John xxx was my grandfather, Jay is my father. … For me and my cousins, my grandfather was a guiding force in our lives. He set the path for use by showing us the importance of being a good person. He always did his best to show patience when we were at our worst. Well probably mostly me. (aha) John led a life many people can admire. It was an honor to be so close to him. He was close friends with everyone, a person who always had the best stories and tall tales. … Skiing, golfing, being a member of the elks club, and being a grandparent were all things he enjoyed. He taught me countless lessons in life, from teaching me how to hold a gun, to judging when pasta was at the proper al dente. I remember when I would lay with him on his bed and he would tell me stories. Stories about being air dropped in a foreign land and being captured – highlighting his bravery as a soldier -, or telling me how he was an important character in the role of the quote “Mafioso”. Nomatter the subject I was always listening with my head by his. I remember taking turns sitting on his lap as a child opening Christmas presents. I remember getting in trouble with the law and his silver tongue bailing me out of trouble (whoops). The countless memories we shared together shall be cherished in my heart forever. …
My grandfather lived a very full, memorable and significant life, a life that could teach us many things. He once spoke these words to me;

“If you love a flower, do not pick it up. For if you decide to pick it up, it shall die and cease to be what you love. So if you love a flower, let it be. Love is not about possession. Love is about appreciation.”

He repeated this to me twice, to make sure his words have been heard. Those words are ones I shall not forget. His simplicity and basic beliefs of the laws of nature. His wisdom bestowed upon me a blessing in itself. … He was a man who I shall continue to think about and consult with every day in my heart. Acting as him when lost and seeking guidance. Etched forever in my brain are the sounds of his voice and advice.. I could not dream up a better person to be a role model for me, he was a great inspiration. … My grandfather pursued his many endeavours diligently, and always rose to meet a challenge. I always felt that he expected the same of me, too. He was philosophical in his approach to life. He especially had a great perspective when it came to the little things, never displaying anger or impatience. Instead, he showed a great dignity and humour. I'll miss his perspective and his quote “gentle” humour. I'll miss the surprising depth and scope of his knowledge. The strength of his character showed even in criticism. With a few wry words, my grandfather could be far more damning than most people could achieve with any strong language. … I will never forget him as a man who would sing and whistle old songs when there is nothing but a room of silence. I introduced him to many of my friends over the years, and they always told me how charismatic he'd been. The man who has given me courage in the darkest days, the one I could always talk to, the one who taught me the most important thing in life at the end of the day is, family. … A dedicated husband, a proud father, and caring grandfather. He was the best role model I could have ever asked for and I cannot reiterate that enough. Nomatter how ill he fell, he still held strong to his sense of humor and appreciation for life.
He grew to the age of 82, far beyond what people expected. He is a constant reminder how far a persons will can take you, how much one person could endure with a little faith. I feel when talking of his passing I speak as if it is but a celebration of a life well lived. I’m positive as my life continues to unfolds\, I will continue to realize just how much I learned from him. I wish I could have given you one last hug before you went, but you’re at peace now. I hope heaven is real and you are with your wife, old friends and family. I thank you for everything, and I hope to see you again one day. Shake your hand and give you a hug. I thank you for the strength you have always given me. I love you, forever. Thank you all for your love, support and kindness.

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Old 02-07-2013, 03:58 AM
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Originally Posted by Volvo802 View Post
You all seem nice.
Haven't been here long, have you?

But yes we are, mostly, nice.

A eulogy? Strange thing to ask for criticism of, because a eulogy needs to come from your heart. Quite a few spelling mistakes and grammar errors, but that doesn't matter because this is a speech; don't have it printed or try to get it published by the local paper or anything like that.

For those who don’t know me, which I’m sure their may be a one or two of you out there in this crowd, my name is Jason.
Don't introduce yourself. Most of them will know you already and those who don't will soon find out who you are. Certainly don't refer to the mourners as 'a crowd', it sounds like a random collection of individuals. If you must refer to them as a body then words like 'congregation', 'gathering' are more appropriate. If there is a minister or other person officiating at the service then they will normally introduce you anyway and your name would be in the printed 'order of service', if there is one.

. . . telling me how he was an important character in the role of the quote “Mafioso”.
No doubt some in the congregation will understand this obscure reference - other will feel left out. Bring everyone in by expanding the story (Who is, or was, the "Mafioso", and what was your Grandfather's role.) but do so in a way that intimates they probably already know the tale.

He grew to the age of 82
A curious phrase. You can't mean that he grew physically, like a tree would; although it does sound like that. Do you mean he continued growing spiritually or intellectually, or do you simply mean he lived to that age?

I will continue to realize just how much I learned from him. I wish I could have given you one last hug before you went,
You slip straight from addressing the congregation to addressing your Grandfather - very confusing. After the words ". . . I learned from him." you should pause for a second, turn to face your Grandfather's coffin (assuming it is present) and then continue.

"Grandfather, (Gramps, Grandad, however you would address him informally.) I wish I could have given you one last hug before you went . . ."

. . . you are with your wife . . .
Another odd turn of phrase; it sounds almost as if you didn't know your Grandfather's wife. Perhaps she died before you were born, but wasn't she still your Grandmother? If not, was she a second wife? I think you need to be clear here and bear in mind that, if your Grandfather had two wives, people who knew or are related to each of them will very likely be in the congregation. My advice would be refer to them by name or not at all, and do not refer to one without mentioning the other: feuds can start at funerals.

I wanted to say "good luck with the eulogy", but that would have been rather inappropriate. My condolences to you and your family.
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Last edited by Crump; 02-07-2013 at 05:32 AM.. Reason: added another suggestion.
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Old 02-07-2013, 08:54 AM
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Yes, I have frequently stumbled upon this forum and have been wandering around quite a bit before I decided to join. So I may newer to you, than you are to me if that makes any sense.

Thank you very much for your feedback. I don't have much experience with writing or even giving speeches. I'm just a car mechanic after all, lol.
Would you have any advice on how to shorten it and make the speech stronger? I feel like this will take a bit longer than I may be comfortable with. I'd hate to speak in a emotionless voice to keep myself from crying up there for any extended period of time.

Thank you for your condolences as well
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Old 02-07-2013, 09:49 AM
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I like the fact you sometimes address your grandfather and I would keep that.

This is the one speech that nobody else can give you are his grandson and this is about what he meant to you. It does not have be perfect it just needs to be heartfelt. Giving a speech can be terrifying and as it is a funeral probably imagining them naked is probably is not appropriate but everyone in that room will be rooting for you and won't be nitpicking. In that speech you have the essence of your grandfather and what he meant to you, so you have done a great job. Lengthwise it looks about right not too long or too short.

I hope it goes well for you.
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