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Old 04-20-2013, 10:23 AM
Mary333 (Offline)
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Pale grey twilight, hinging on darkness,
A forgotten instance bathed in melancholy,
Dreams, hopes and fears soon vanished,
Replaced as one continuing vastness.

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Old 04-20-2013, 12:59 PM
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FireHill (Offline)
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This goes along with some things I've been thinking and feeling lately. Synchronicity. I like it.
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Old 04-23-2013, 07:57 AM
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Thanks for sharing - I do like this poem
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Old 04-23-2013, 09:15 AM
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Originally Posted by Mary333 View Post
Pale grey twilight, hinging on darkness,
A forgotten instance bathed in melancholy,
Dreams, hopes and fears soon vanished,
Replaced as one continuing vastness.
Love it, and it describes my own feelings during our cold spring. I wonder, though (not being picky), would you want to say "replaced by" instead of "replaced as..."?
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Old 04-24-2013, 12:51 AM
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The first line is interesting. The rest is a vague narrative; its meaning escapes me. What you want to say? Is there something special about grey twilight? I agree.

in the west
the orange pales, and grey

across the open sky
the clouds can't hold the light

the in between
the new twilight

forms
and all the color's gone

and shadows grow
so long you've thought

that something vast
is in between

twilight
and moon rise

deep night
and dawn
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