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Old 08-10-2011, 01:00 AM
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In my current writing I have the whole plot already planned out in order in my head (and of course Ive summarized it) but it involves a lot of sexual things in it.
My issue is I kind of have a hard time actually writing it out. Mostly because I feel embarrassed if someone reads it haha it makes me giggle. But honestly my face flushes. You know, describing sensations and whats going through the character's minds etc etc. I have it in my head and I can see whats going on and what the character's are experiencing but putting it down it makes me a little uncomfortable to say the least.
Does anyone else have this same issue or has had?

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Old 08-10-2011, 01:09 AM
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There's no need to feel embarassed. Sex is a natural everyday occurence.

If you are able to (due to age restrictions) go to the Adult forum and read some of the stories in there. Get ideas for how others have done.

There are many different styles, some sensual, some purely mechanical, some just literary. There is nothing to be embarassed about. Here we are all writers, no matter what we write.

Push yourself to write what you see in your mind, even if it does make you uncomfortable.
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Old 08-10-2011, 01:13 AM
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Originally Posted by AriaK View Post
(WARNING-May not be suitable for persons under 18)
In my current writing I have the whole plot already planned out in order in my head (and of course Ive summarized it) but it involves a lot of sexual things in it.
My issue is I kind of have a hard time actually writing it out. Mostly because I feel embarrassed if someone reads it haha it makes me giggle. But honestly my face flushes. You know, describing sensations and whats going through the character's minds etc etc. I have it in my head and I can see whats going on and what the character's are experiencing but putting it down it makes me a little uncomfortable to say the least.
Does anyone else have this same issue or has had?

yes. With the result that I haven't posted anything in the adult section yet, although I've thought about it.
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Old 08-10-2011, 02:17 AM
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Thank you for your feedback!

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Old 08-10-2011, 04:11 AM
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It's seldom necessary to be explicit. I've read sex scenes that are pretty poetic -- and not much is left to the imagination if you read between the lines.

I think the problems most often occur when people start to get into the mechanics of it, and it's pretty hard to start naming parts and areas without it all sounding kind of silly, especially if you try to use lame euphemisms etc. Even describing sensations gets tricky -- because to a certain extent, you have to tell people what's causing them.

If you can do it, bravo. I have no objection to the concept of an explicit sex scene -- I just haven't read many that work very well or that don't cross the line into titillation. (That's OK if you're looking for that.)

Usually, it's OK just to let people know the characters had sex. And it doesn't need to be some corny "fade to black" either. But mostly, people can use their imaginations to figure out what's going on.

Last edited by JoeMatt; 08-10-2011 at 05:24 AM..
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Old 08-10-2011, 05:55 AM
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Old 08-10-2011, 06:08 AM
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Linny's comments about writing romance are important because I think different types of story call for different ways of writing a sex scene. If the op is writing a romance then yeah, getting explicit is probably better than leaving it to a reader's imagination.

In my own writing, as far from romance as you can get, I'm more in line with Joe's sentiment. That less is more and leaving some of it to the reader's imagination is more important to me than getting every detail across. Not that I don't write sex scenes, just that I don't sweat about telling the reader everything thats happening.

There's no need to feel embarassed. Sex is a natural everyday occurence.
Also this. Sex isn't something to be embarrassed about so I'm wondering how the op can write a convincing scene if they're blushing and feeling uncomfortable about it? Just curious abut that.
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Old 08-10-2011, 06:32 AM
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My wife has read some stuff to me from some of what she calls her "beach books" that we've both found hilarious. Stuff about "throbbing members" and hardened "love buds." I think the best euphemism I heard was something about a guy using his tongue to explore her "grotto of passion." Ha ha ha.
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Old 08-10-2011, 06:40 AM
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Originally Posted by JoeMatt View Post
My wife has read some stuff to me from some of what she calls her "beach books" that we've both found hilarious. Stuff about "throbbing members" and hardened "love buds." I think the best euphemism I heard was something about a guy using his tongue to explore her "grotto of passion." Ha ha ha.


Ha ha, they are out there in bundles... The pirate ones are the best...

There is a sex scene... and then there is smut lol

Stay away from smut.
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Old 08-10-2011, 03:38 PM
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Originally Posted by CandraH View Post
Linny's comments about writing romance are important because I think different types of story call for different ways of writing a sex scene. If the op is writing a romance then yeah, getting explicit is probably better than leaving it to a reader's imagination.

In my own writing, as far from romance as you can get, I'm more in line with Joe's sentiment. That less is more and leaving some of it to the reader's imagination is more important to me than getting every detail across. Not that I don't write sex scenes, just that I don't sweat about telling the reader everything thats happening.



Also this. Sex isn't something to be embarrassed about so I'm wondering how the op can write a convincing scene if they're blushing and feeling uncomfortable about it? Just curious abut that.

You are right that sex isnt something to be embarrassed about but for me doing the deed with my husband and then writing in sexual scenes is another thing. He already makes fun of my writing when I ask him to sit and read what I have. I dont want him reading what his wife writes about sex, he would never stop laughing. Im embarrassed if its someone I know who will read it vs a stranger
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Old 08-10-2011, 04:08 PM
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I think you have to know who you are writing for. Linny's comments are a good approach, I think - just write out whatever comes into your head to start with, and don't feel you have to show it to anyone. You might have to do this to get your first draft written, and keep your inner critic turned off. No one has to see this.

Then, tone it down or rewrite with your particular audience in mind. If your husband is a good barometer of your audience, try showing it to him, unless you never want him to ever read your work. I found my husband likes the stories I write that have sex in them, although I don't go into explicit detail.

In many forms of writing, allowing room for the reader's brain to join the dots can make the writing stronger and give it greater depth. You can describe the results of the sex - all the sheets torn from the bed, the picture crooked on the wall, Sheila's hair in disarray, her cheeks flushed, her eyes sparkling as she dangles an open handcuff, inviting him back for more... And so forth. You can see what has already happened without actually describing it (more so with a full context of course), and begin to see how Sheila is feeling and what she wants without telling anything except the image. You need more to show her partner's reaction, of course. If you want to get more erotic, then you might add sensual gestures and sensations - taste, scent and so forth. Like with any image. Dialogue is great, I think - if your first drafts capture good dialogue, you are doing well.

I am only learning about this myself, and can't claim to be good at it at this stage, but I also don't want to write porn, yet do include sex - as a natural part of characters lives - so I've been giving this some thought.

Like Linny said, it has to advance the story. Sometimes, well chosen graphic details are needed to advance your story. For example, in The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, there was a single detail of Salander's agony that conveyed the brutal nature of what she went through, without the need to describe every moment and turn it into a horror novel. If this is what your story needs, then you should not shy away or feel guilty. But it must serve your story.
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Old 08-10-2011, 05:52 PM
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pardon my boldness, but I just wanted to say that the name "sheila" and the word "sex" strike me as mutually exclusive. that is to say, I don't like to think of them together ... nay, I CAN'T think of them together. sheila is a name most commonly associated with women over the age of 65 in this country, so you can see the problem.

is it an oddity peculiar to WB 'writers', this use of elderly names for characters? I've seen all sorts of grandparenty nomenclature hereabouts, and it's pretty much instant death as far as my interest goes. I don't want to read a) books about old folk having sex, or b) books written by folk who call pants "slacks" and name their heroes and heroines donald, barry, mildred, or sheila.

just saying
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Old 08-10-2011, 08:48 PM
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bumhead - I'm an Australian girl. A 'sheila' here, is a colloquial expression meaning 'woman'. I was joking with myself, giving her a generic, sexist sounding term instead of a 'real' name. Like calling her 'Chick' or something. (Admittedly, my attempts at humour might need some improvement.) Apologies to anyone actually named 'Sheila'.

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Old 08-10-2011, 09:26 PM
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Originally Posted by AriaK View Post
I dont want him reading what his wife writes about sex, he would never stop laughing.
Then write something he finds exciting. He won't laugh then. He might even encourage you to write more.

Try this exercise. Go see your husband and say "I had a dream last night I was kissing a girl."

See if he laughs.
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Old 08-10-2011, 10:40 PM
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Originally Posted by Mike C View Post
Then write something he finds exciting. He won't laugh then. He might even encourage you to write more.

Try this exercise. Go see your husband and say "I had a dream last night I was kissing a girl."

See if he laughs.

Ha Ill try that thanks
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Old 08-11-2011, 07:41 AM
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Originally Posted by Mike C View Post
Then write something he finds exciting. He won't laugh then. He might even encourage you to write more.

Try this exercise. Go see your husband and say "I had a dream last night I was kissing a girl."

See if he laughs.

Now that IS the kinda white noise a person wants to hear

My husband does encourage me to write such things to him... Long distance relationships sometimes have their upsides.

Its great practice anyway... Im probably a freaking expert by now! lol
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Old 08-11-2011, 10:29 AM
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To be honest, sex isn't so raw and animalistic that one should write it with little emotion and just write.

I treat my sex scenes in the same way I treat my torture scenes (what?!); express through emotions, not actions. Rather than explicitly stating so and so put his hotdog in so and so's donut, one can rather discuss through words, gentle kisses, comforting touches and the sharing of body warmth. Explain emotions like nervousness, confidence, eagerness, joy, and contentment. Go into things like trust and love and patience and impatience. It is not simple raw action, it is so much more!
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Old 08-11-2011, 12:40 PM
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The February 1994 issue of The Writer magazine has an article entitled "Getting Naked: The joy (and fear) of writing about sex." In there are some tips to help with writing steamy scenes. I'm sure you could find this issue of that magazine at your local library.
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Old 08-11-2011, 01:22 PM
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I read this interview (a very long time ago) with the romance writer Fern Michaels--who it turned out was actually 2 women writing as a team--and they said to get over their embarassment of writing all those "naughty" words and deeds they wrote the most awful, raunchiest novel imaginable--never intending for it to be published. It was just to get themselves accustomed to writing such things. Over time they came to see what worked and what didn't for them.
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Old 08-11-2011, 07:35 PM
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Old 08-11-2011, 08:28 PM
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Old 08-11-2011, 08:35 PM
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Old 08-11-2011, 08:54 PM
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Oh Linny - you've got me laughing now! The idea of the 'old man' from Candra's world in a sex scene is mind-bogglingly appalling. And that's a compliment, Candra, because you set up the horror there so effectively.

I laughed fi, and I would have laughed just as much if you used Sharon and Darren (partner).
I'm glad you saw the humour, Linny - even if it's minority humour. And I have just written a short story - two of the characters are 'Shazza' and 'Dazza'. (Aussie for Sharon and Darren - or Darryl.) She's a triathlete, and he's a surfie who is competing to be her boyfriend with my story's protagonist. I chose the names for their cliche value. It was fun.
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Old 08-12-2011, 12:40 AM
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Originally Posted by soullesshuman View Post
sex isn't so raw and animalistic
Depends how you do it.
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Old 08-12-2011, 01:56 AM
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If you want I have the link to a chatroom with a lot of ladies that write varying degrees of sex, filth, smut etc Some are very, very good - I am currently waiting for one called the Gladiator's Master looks very good.

Few months of writing in there any embarrasment I felt had gone and have written some very near the mark pieces (well actually well over and coming back again) I am wondering if I can sell em lol

Sex scenes have similarity to good dialogue or fight scenes. Remembering the senses, include taste, and smell as well as sound, touch and sight. Emotions. The mechanics are less important than what is actually going on inside and the experience. I find it interesting to pretend my characters are blindfolded. Also remembering their personalities - keep the sort of things they are into consistent. When I wrote Angus and Beatrice they are seventeen and it is new and innocent, she is very much in charge, he is terrified and then as it is YA the shower curtain is strategically placed before it gets interesting. (Angus would be horrified if he thought I was watching), Joe and Tim are more animalistic and Tim has a desire to be dressed as Victorian prostitute.

Also find it helps if I find the person my MC is getting it on with hot is far more important than me finding the MC attractive (in the case of my first MC I don't. I think he is a tad ugly but so far no teen girl readers do I seem to have failed to portray that), but his girlfriend needed to be someone I could find hot.

It is why I find writing gay men easier if my MC is male - it is much easier knowing how to place the MC when he is with another bloke than when he is with a woman. It is also why my husband isn't that interested in my sex scenes - not to mention in common with many women I like the idea of two men together.

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Old 08-12-2011, 02:56 AM
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Most writers run into a block when trying to write the bondage scenes. It is clear from their lack of proper terminology they either haven't done their homework or they haven't had a go at it. There is an art to pouring latex, you just don't slap it on like you are white washing a fence. It works best if you use a meat thermometer..most things do.
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Old 08-12-2011, 03:43 AM
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Originally Posted by LinnyP View Post
I give Joe no credit at all in being able to write any type of sex scene, poetic or otherwise. After all, the man writes about "iron sky pans" or was it "iron pan skies"??? Cannot remember.
What are you talking about? I had an awesome sex scene in that very story. It went like this:

"After they made love..."

That pretty much says it all.
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Old 08-12-2011, 03:51 AM
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The words you use really make a difference.

Two people in romantic love: 'After they made love...'
Two roofers: 'After they screwed...'
Two carpenters: 'After they joined...'
Two scientists who study mammals: 'After they copulated...'

Sorry.
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Old 08-12-2011, 04:49 AM
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Old 08-12-2011, 06:53 AM
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Originally Posted by LinnyP View Post
I give Joe no credit at all in being able to write any type of sex scene, poetic or otherwise. After all, the man writes about "iron sky pans" or was it "iron pan skies"??? Cannot remember. But please do PM me specifically if you ever get around to writing a poetic sex scene in your post-apocalyptic world, but please don't have the starring role as the Old man...I look forward to critiquing. *sniggering*.
Joe's sex scenes are almost as good as Lin's, though for very different reasons.

Originally Posted by fihr View Post
Oh Linny - you've got me laughing now! The idea of the 'old man' from Candra's world in a sex scene is mind-bogglingly appalling. And that's a compliment, Candra, because you set up the horror there so effectively.
Heh. You guys are funny. Poetic sex scenes? Eh, my arse. My characters fuck like rabbits mostly. Then they slaughter and eat the rabbits. (Sorry for the language, folks. It's how I talk in real life and you're all making me feel ever so relaxed in here...)

Originally Posted by Mike C View Post
Depends how you do it.
Mmhmm.

Originally Posted by Gaines View Post
Most writers run into a block when trying to write the bondage scenes.
I thought writer's block was only for amateurs...
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