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Lesbian Humorists Wanted

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  #1  
Old 07-13-2010, 07:37 PM
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Default Lesbian Humorists Wanted


GAY e-magazine, the e-zine by lesbians with a sense of humor, is looking for lesbian humor writers for our monthly e-publication. Check us out at www.gay-e-magazine.com and visit the "Contact GAY" page to download our submission guidelines.

Thanks!
Candy Parker
Editor-in-Chief

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  #2  
Old 07-14-2010, 05:20 AM
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Oh, by the way, I got back mail from a gay friend who writes a gay column. He said, "The very fact she used he word GAY for a woman's magazine means she's either totally clueless or is aggressively trying to piss off gay men by usurping a word that's always been a gay male thing, seldom used by two-holed freaks."

(He's kind of flamboyant)

I also mailed two women I know who do comedy in LA and are members of the "Slutty Not Funny" network. They thought the "GAY" name was weird and said they wouldn't be all that comfortable with a "lesbians only need apply" thing.

So, despite your screeching, it's not like I'm some weirdo with bizarre ideas trying to piss you off. I asked you politely if limiting your call to a single sex orientatin wasn't discriminatory and you blew up. You might want to think all that over.
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Old 07-14-2010, 10:48 AM
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I've discussed with others and every single one thinks the same thing I do, it's sexual discrimination. It's "don't ask, don't tell".
And it's not that big a deal. I doubt there will be whole lot of hetero humorists bummed out not to be included in Half Size Review.
But it is discriminatory, and next time you whine about sexual prejudice from others, you might keep that in mind.
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Old 07-14-2010, 10:50 AM
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And it's not that I have anything against lesbians.
In fact I'm very supportive and helpful.

My wife's lesbian.

Well, my ex-wife.

Well, NOW she's a lesbian.

And she says I had a lot to do with that.

So, see I help and support lesbians.


Rimshot.

Damn, I could have been a great lesbian humorist, if only this cruel, judgemental world would let me
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  #5  
Old 07-14-2010, 04:48 PM
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I didn't think dykes did humour...
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Old 07-14-2010, 04:52 PM
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I think they do Dutch boys.

But careful there, I am myself a lesbian trapped in a man's body.
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Old 07-14-2010, 04:54 PM
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"Butch" Robinson. Kinda has a ring to it, don't you think? Great pen name.
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Old 07-14-2010, 05:13 PM
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Actually, my name in the pen was "Doris"
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Old 07-14-2010, 07:20 PM
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hahaha this thread is wonderful.
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  #10  
Old 07-15-2010, 12:48 AM
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How would they know if you're a lesbian or not? Do you have to send photo proof or something?
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Old 07-15-2010, 12:54 AM
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Don't bring back the storm trooper
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  #12  
Old 07-15-2010, 04:49 AM
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Originally Posted by Dragon King View Post
How would they know if you're a lesbian or not? Do you have to send photo proof or something?
Send in a picture of all your shoes. It's not that complicated. Good luck.
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Old 07-15-2010, 05:01 AM
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Oh dear - looks like we'll soon be losing Gaines to this website.
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  #14  
Old 07-15-2010, 05:12 AM
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If it were "lesbians need not apply", it could be called homophobia... so as "lesbians only need apply", could that be heterophobia?
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Old 07-15-2010, 05:52 AM
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Originally Posted by SW View Post
Oh dear - looks like we'll soon be losing Gaines to this website.
Didn't have the right shoes.
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  #16  
Old 07-15-2010, 06:08 AM
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How would they know if you're a lesbian or not?
They don't. That's what really messed-up about this. My first post on this was deleted (I had previously dealt with Ms. Diesel elsewhere) but what I mentioned was, they've set up a "don't ask, don't tell" situation.
You can write for them as long as they don't know you're not a rug-muncher.

Ironic.
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  #17  
Old 07-15-2010, 06:14 AM
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Originally Posted by Lin View Post
You can write for them as long as they don't know you're not a rug-muncher.
Lin, the way you word things... forever shall you have a special place in my heart

What if you had 'dabbled' would that count...? Not that I have, or would share with you lot if I had, I unless it was with one of you lot with whom I had shared...

lmao

THERAPY!!!
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  #18  
Old 07-15-2010, 06:21 AM
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There is something intrinsically wrong with that idea. They advert for lesbian humorists but they don't want to know if the "comedian" is a bushwhacker? I could understand if they were adverting for scientologists with a sense of humor; oxymoron; but a funny lesbian is a funny lesbian. This is the kind of shit that keeps Oprah in business.
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Old 07-15-2010, 06:23 AM
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Originally Posted by Redlorry View Post
Lin, the way you word things... forever shall you have a special place in my heart

What if you had 'dabbled' would that count...? Not that I have, or would share with you lot if I had, I unless it was with one of you lot with whom I had shared...

lmao

THERAPY!!!
A fluffer and a dabbler! You're on the wrong side of the camera. She's ready for her close up Mr. DeMille. Makeup!
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  #20  
Old 07-15-2010, 06:24 AM
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It's not that they don't want to know, it's that there is no way they can. It's sexual discrimination, but she won't fess up to that.
It's like the "I can't be racist, I'm black" concept.
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  #21  
Old 07-15-2010, 06:26 AM
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Originally Posted by Gaines View Post
She's ready for her close up Mr. DeMille. Makeup!
Kiss AND makeup.

And these gals don't play "dabble". Check out the mag. It's like "wardrobe by Defensive Lineman's Secret"
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  #22  
Old 07-15-2010, 06:47 AM
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I'm afraid to look. The last thing I need is another fetish.
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  #23  
Old 07-15-2010, 07:12 AM
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Shoulder pads not required. That's all I'm saying.

Sorry, couldn't get a look at the shoes for you.
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  #24  
Old 07-15-2010, 09:32 AM
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WOW. This is as funny as it gets. It's been a while since I laughed so hard.
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  #25  
Old 07-15-2010, 09:43 AM
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See, there IS lesbian humor.

Who knew?
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  #26  
Old 07-15-2010, 09:51 AM
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Oi, Lin, Gaines

You better not be referring to me - no shoulder pads required, hmph.

I can be as females and girly as they come - again your decision on the pun (just as long as I don't have to wear pink). But I'll also use my femine wiles to your demise if you don't watch it.
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  #27  
Old 07-15-2010, 10:02 AM
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I've not done so well with men, perhaps it's time to switch paddles. I do like pink, though.
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  #28  
Old 07-15-2010, 10:05 AM
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Well there's always the buy before you try option...

Couple of bottle of wine and the right company. Who knows, the need for men may be gone forever.
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Old 07-15-2010, 10:08 AM
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I'll try one of those cute, perky lesbians, that's not opposed to pink (even she won't wear it herself).
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  #30  
Old 07-15-2010, 10:09 AM
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I want athletic and... resourceful. No colour preference. No strings
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