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Boris Elton Humphrey

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Old 02-05-2014, 03:56 AM
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Default Boris Elton Humphrey


Boris Elton Humphrey is a likable fellow. Doesn't delve into other people's business. In fact, he's considered a hermit of sorts. Never married though he's sometimes viewed as handsome. Of course, he's now in his late seventies, bald, wrinkled like a prune and his elbows are thrust back grasshopper like.


But hey! His generous personality makes up for that. After all, he is quite willing to share his material possessions with any woman who might accept him. Of course his possessions don't amount to much more than a decrepid cot and some second-hand clothing and books. But that should pose absolutely no problem for a gal who loves sincerity over material things.



And Boris is certainly sincere. Why, he'll tell the gal right off that he has false acrylic teeth and a chronic halitosis to go with them that might make a skunk envious. So no surprises there. He also will readily reveal that he is double-groin herniated and unable to carry heavy groceries lest he wind up in ER with an entangled intestine. But hey! Any robust gal with a sturdy back won’t mind at all. In fact, it might appeal to her as-yet unexpressed maternal instincts.


Boris is also very forthright about how he feels. True, part of it is due to his Tourrets tendency to shout out obscenities at full blast. But if one listens patiently and carefully, one will note that he whispers profound truths between each livid absurdity which makes putting up with it very worthwhile for the woman who is seeking a philosophically-inclined gent.


His posture isn't the ideal, of course, and some might even consider him hunchbacked. But when viewed from certain angles and if the light is just right, why, he sometimes might manage to seem almost handsome. Especially if the gal has eyesight trouble. Then that shouldn't be a problem at all.

 In short, Boris is unquestionably the ideal man for the right woman. Any takers?

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

 
Alexander Torquato Mambosa’s Dating Service inc.


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Old 02-05-2014, 05:48 AM
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Boris sounds like a total liability to me.
If any woman has the strength to get involved with a bag 'o problems like Boris, I'd love to see her insurance policy.

I really enjoyed your quirk about the outbursts of Tourette's syndrome and its hidden gems of wisdom.
My problem is, what is a man of this age doing with a cot?

The most random yet interesting read in a while.
Boris sounds Russian to me.
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Old 02-09-2014, 07:00 AM
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I had a neighbor living next door who approximately fits that description. Lived alone in a tiny, cluttered, rented room with an old cot taking up half the space.

Kept yelling he was going to shoot at us through the room's thin wall after we asked him to tone down the visiting family conversation and infernal dishwashing clatter during sleep time.

Last edited by Rocko; 02-09-2014 at 07:05 AM..
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Old 02-11-2014, 06:02 AM
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Boris Elton Humphrey


Hi there!

I’m Boris Elton Humphrey, a likable fellow. I doesn't delve into other people's business. In fact, I’m considered a hermit of sorts. Never married though I’m sometimes viewed as handsome. Of course, I’m now in his late seventies, bald, wrinkled like a prune and ma elbows are thrust back grasshopper like.



But hey! I’m generous and that makes up for that. I’m quite willing to share ma material possessions with any woman who might accept me. Course ma possessions don't amount to much more than a decrepid cot and some second-hand clothing and books. But that should pose absolutely no problem for a gal who loves sincerity over material things.


And I’m certainly sincere. Why, I'll tell the gal right off that I has false acrylic teeth and a chronic halitosis to go with them that might make a skunk envious. So no surprises there. I’ll also readily reveal that I’m double-groin herniated and unable to carry heavy groceries lest I winds up in ER with an entangulated intestine. But hey! Any robust gal with a sturdy back won’t really mind at all. In fact, it might appeal to her as-yet unexpressed maternal instincts.


I’m also very forthright about what I thinks and how I feels. True, part of it is due to ma Tourrets tendency to shout out obscenities at full blast. But if you listens patiently and carefully, you’ll note that I whispers profound truths between each livid absurdity which makes putting up with it very worthwhile for the woman who is seeking a philosophically-inclined gent like me.



Shucks, I knows ma posture isn't the ideal. Shoot! Some might even consider me hunchbacked. But when I’m viewed from certain angles and if the light is just right, why, I sometimes might manage to seem almost handsome. Especially if the gal has eyesight trouble. Then that shouldn't be a problem at all.
 

In short, I’m unquestionably the ideal man for the right woman. Any takers?
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Old 02-11-2014, 08:14 AM
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Sorry Boris. Cannot handle you and your issues too.
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