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Turning

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  #1  
Old 06-14-2013, 11:25 AM
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Default Turning


If I don't say this now I will surely drown. Around and around this cycle I will return. Turning and turning I wait for my moment to hit the ground. To run. To break free of this marry-go-round. Run through this turning dust I find myself in. Dust accumulates pound by pound. My earnings turn to mud. Stuck in my own devices I scream to hollow ears. Never allowed to leave. I followed my demise to a pit so low I find myself here. Turning and turning I have returned to my cycle.

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Old 06-14-2013, 01:41 PM
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I admit, it often seems like we go in circles and really get nowhere.
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Old 06-14-2013, 08:29 PM
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Why wasn't this put into a regular poem format?

"If I don't say this now I will surely drown.
Around and around this cycle I will return.
Turning and turning I wait for my moment to hit the ground.
To run. To break free of this marry-go-round.
Run through this turning dust I find myself in.
Dust accumulates pound by pound.
My earnings turn to mud.
Stuck in my own devices I scream to hollow ears.
Never allowed to leave.
I followed my demise to a pit so low I find myself here.
Turning and turning I have returned to my cycle."

................

In this arrangement it makes it easier to see where you need to edit.

Last edited by Nee; 06-14-2013 at 08:32 PM..
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Old 06-14-2013, 09:26 PM
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Yes I think it would have been easier, but I wrote it on my phone and my phone makes it harder to format
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Old 06-15-2013, 03:46 AM
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I agree. I think some formatting would make an excellent poem even better. Good Job!
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