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let it fall

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  #1  
Old 06-15-2007, 04:50 PM
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Default let it fall


Let it fall.
Let the world fall on me
Have it tear upon me
I want my devotees to tear a piece of flesh off me and eat it
I will witness my adversaries come, smell and fester on my fetus like they want to
Have the politicians make the laws that will condemn me for the rest of my life
Give the mother that I know the ability to isolate my soul to the very deep shadows of her heart
For the men that uphold the law, I want their homes to paint themselves with the shadows of my soul when they sentence me to my death
And have the prison that they hold me down on cave in with the ferocity of one thousand screaming expressions of the men that this society has disregarded
To my victims, let their bodies decay where ever they may be and turn into the contents that we use to breed ourselves.
Let it all fall on me
Because I killed many and I felt good about it
I took a life that I did not create and it made understand you father
Now I know you and feel close to you
I feel like I regained my belief in you by committing a murder
So let it fall

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  #2  
Old 06-23-2007, 04:07 AM
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Dark poem it is, though the structure takes away from it. This way it has a little more structure though by changing several words and straigtening it out the meaning of your poem would be more pronounced.

Let it fall.
Let the world fall on me

Have it tear upon me
I want my devotees to tear,
a piece of flesh off me and eat it
I will witness my adversaries come,
smell and fester on my fetus like they want to
Have the politicians make the laws,
that will condemn me for the rest of my life
Give the mother that I know the ability to isolate my soul,
to the very deep shadows of her heart
For the men that uphold the law,
I want their homes to paint themselves
With the shadows of my soul,
when they sentence me to my death
And have the prison that they hold me down on,
cave in with the ferocity of one thousand screaming expressions
Of the men that this society has disregarded
To my victims, let their bodies decay where ever they may be,
and turn into the contents that we use to breed ourselves.
Let it all fall on me
Because I killed many and I felt good about it
I took a life that I did not create and it made understand you father
Now I know you and feel close to you
I feel like I regained my belief in you by committing a murder
So let it fall
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Old 06-23-2007, 05:29 AM
lanaia74 (Offline)
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Absolutely and totally AWESOME!
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