You have a touch of something here. Anger, mostly, a little talent, maybe, but mostly just anger and an attempt to shock people with your words rather than move them.
The first word repetition of "let" became boring and grating. The name calling was simply gratuitous and at least for me, words like that don't hold any shock value and they seem to just be a crutch for not writing something strong and meaningful. The hypocrisy of "doing evil for Jesus" has been done to death and, once again, not at all shocking.
That line is kind of good. Too long and has grammar mistakes, but it has a shred of something that makes me think you could write something meaningful without spitting in our faces.
Let the prison that they hold down on cave in with the ferocity of one thousand screaming expressions of the men that this society has disregarded