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  #6211  
Old 08-28-2018, 02:50 AM
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"Snuffles," Grace wrote, fishing a toilet roll out of her dressing gown pocket and giving her nose a few fog horn blows. Summer had gone - lifted from the menu overnight to be replaced with 'Autumn Platter ' - the chef's limitations only permitting the printed dish of the day . And Grace coughed and sniffed her way awake - blaming herself for skipping around in shorts and goosebumps instead of coming to terms with the season. Her second coffee working its magic now - the ignition key churning a mental engine that was close to firing - some stationary revving needed before her mind released the handbrake and pulled out of sleep to eat up the miles until lunchtime. Rheumy eyes focusing on a jotter now, as she started to shape her commitments with a neat, copperplate hand but feeling that life was writing a list of its own - her plans no more than a folded slip in a forgotten suggestion box.

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  #6212  
Old 08-29-2018, 05:01 AM
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"I feel a bit rough", Grace mentioned - aware that she was making the involuntary moans of a cow in labour every time she moved. Internal negotiations were taking place - her head bargaining that it would stop throbbing if she went back to bed for an hour - her nose demanding a ransom settlement of balsam and painkillers for the safe release of a hijacked Eustachian tube. Grace sniffed and moaned again - somehow finding it comforting - massaging her temples now - aware that it looked like she was trying to tune her brain into a different station. And Grace was caught in that indecision of either getting on - or just getting off really - shuffling to the kitchen now to rifle the cupboards for some over-the-counter elixir..or, in its absence, a lump of cake then.
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  #6213  
Old 08-30-2018, 04:34 AM
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repost from elsewhere

"...my legs are a bit sore, but last night my daughter and her steady took me to the nearest disco, and I danced between three dance floors there, and yes I am a good dancer, most folks give that "berth of respect" as is due me in my elegant madness..." related the goblin somehow knowing that tonight he would return there again, though alone this time, smiling "...so this is in praise of my past perhaps, where the ritual never changes, just the dancer dances away until he becomes the dance by it and only the dance matters too, and where "while there" there is no elsewhere neither, no old man then, nor his wife's cancer, nor any of those externals like that, no there is only this music passing through one, that choreography towards it, and of feeling those eyes upon one too...", yes the goblin's vanity was self evident yet he was a sucker for vanity in a dailylife so devoid of any appreciation, repeating "...the point is that there is no point really, even so, if there's no point and still one continues and continues, then just perhaps that was something in one's nature all along..."


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  #6214  
Old 08-30-2018, 04:38 AM
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repost from elsewhere,

at which point the goblin just recollected something in passing, saying "...well, I met my late uncle in a dream last night, much in the same way I have met dead relatives before, and as ever the dead person doesn't say anything, no always there are others with them who talk, those whom I don't know who engage me in full conversation, but when it's the actual relative, like my uncle in this case, it's silence between us where I just hugged him in tears, and then it was over and I woke up with a feeling of gratitude towards my life and the dead, guess it means something is afoot then, no I've been here before, oh and how many times by now, anyway I hope my uncle appreciated my tears for I never cry at anyone's funeral...", simply the goblin didn't need to believe in the afterlife, no instead he already knew that that afterlife was simply there, repeating "...they return and when they do each time it's that same silence, that uncanny close personal silence, where everyone else chats away in life, yes it's funny how different the dead seem from us living still..."



xxxx 6213 481569

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  #6215  
Old 08-31-2018, 02:41 AM
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very busy with much today and life kind of speaks to you over a tannoy of sorts she thought, it interrupts ... ‘ooh babe’ ... wish I had this knack for oozing delicious words hence my hesitation but he never minds really and maybe the nature of things here in my world simply insist on chatter about those happenings of the moment then ... the phone had just rung three times and peculiar enough in the answering for the daughter and her to be reminded .. ‘so a repost for you’ she called softly ‘just that tannoy then ...’


repost from somewhere, sometime

the phone rang this evening, a frail old lady whispered ... ‘come home, you need to come home!’ somewhat perplexed anna suggested she had the wrong number, the old lady repeated ... ‘I need my daughter to come home, I'm going to bed!’ ... ‘what number are you wanting?’ ... anna replied, thinking - outside context problem here - silence, crackles ... ‘which number are you ringing ... ?’ she tried again bellowing slowly with zest and the children giggled into cushions. Sudden lucidity shot forth from the elderly crone, ‘ok’ mused anna ‘I'll give her your message!’ ... On replacing the handset she seized it and dialed, an equally frail old man answered ... ‘I'm so sorry to bother but a determined old lady wants it to be known that her daughter must come home because she's going to bed - do hope this makes sense to you’ ... ‘ah yes, yes’ he faltered - ‘yes it does - thank you - goodbye!’


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  #6216  
Old 09-02-2018, 06:15 AM
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repost form elsewhere


"...then I'll share that morning silence with you now..." replied the goblin sat at his breakfast table alone before the others woke and stirred, outside though another bright cloudless day unfolded to the same current events of his work day and her blackmail, never any change on that score, her cancer ticking over and biding its time, just the blackmailer never lets go and has to be accommodated while the goblin himself gets on with his own life in parallel, explaining "...she plans on returning to her teaching shortly where she can choose both which students and her workpace too, I encourage it, as illness can often make one lose hope, yet she still has that hope there, and I share in that hope too, yet in the end the blackmailer calls the shots really...", in fact, the goblin being such a creature of simple habit has never envisaged a life "post wife" now, relating "...no, if she does die, I wonder if she'll turn up in my dreams like those other late relatives have done from time to time, plus I wonder what she'll think of me in my transition to whatever I become afterwards, a transition mind you that has already started, has to start at some point, plus I wonder what I would want for her should the situation be reversed, probably I'd want her to live on, start a new life, etc., either way her blackmailer has plunged me into this tunnel, and no I might choose to remain within this tunnel as single man forever, or I might seek some new light at the end of the tunnel with someone else then..." in fact,things didn't change however much the goblin thought about it, so instead he declared that he would just prepare for whichever outcome it was then, resulting in something resembling "physically faithful while in slow transition too" meanwhile the music played on where the tune couldn't continue, yet silence was not his style really




xxxx 6215 482171

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  #6217  
Old 09-02-2018, 06:33 AM
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‘oooh babe, you just get better and better at this thing here and it’s hard ...’ anna had been writing one of those letters then and it was a big deal, lots of money owed her and all those details and trying to put it just so, so as to get that outcome without the aggravation ... ‘but it gets easier and it has helped me - all those posts and a picture - remember the days when I could only imagine finding the perfect picture ...’ he was right back then but it was hard to see, all in the looking then - hug - ‘thank you’ she whispered, running off only to run back collapse in a heap of giggles and smile some.





https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-x0Vr7H8kIU

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  #6218  
Old 09-02-2018, 12:36 PM
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As I sat on my porch in the 92F heat, taking my lunch I observed a wasp. It did several flybys and settled on my arm. I've never been one to swat at wasps or bees (on my own account)



This wasp had a strange appendage, a light, almost translucent green wrapped around it's thorax. On closer examination, it was a small grasshopper, still much bigger than the wasp. The wasp flitted back and forth for a while, showing off to me.



"See, I can fly while carrying something that weighs as much as I do".



The wasp flew off, I finished my ration of bacon and in the heat could only eat about 2/3s of my scrambled eggs. The dogs drank my milk, and my wife finished my eggs.
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  #6219  
Old 09-02-2018, 10:21 PM
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and she’d taken to pedaling off and it struck her then ... as to be a status of sorts but whether married to the act or singular in its undertaking - she wasn’t sure ... and ‘this writing-it-all-out and show-not-tell is like talking in a strange tongue - to me babe’ she whispered to his back - continuing as she sped past the ghosts of the town ‘it’s like putting me in the middle of that hallowed ballroom with a panel of knowers and shakers gifted with the gab, groovers, in the middle of that bouncy parquet dance floor only to wriggle and prance without the footwork because it’s all stashed up there or in there but difficult to put out there’ - the roads empty and the street lights punctured the dawn and her dreaming, search lights really, gone was the warm fuzzy lamplight glow and cameras plotted the suspicious stealth glider on wheels escaping a cabin melancholy. This is island life and they - over there, don’t know the half of it, no great expanse of freedom from captivity - net curtains - she placed his cycle back by the door and if he noticed she’d borrowed it some nights he never said - slipping away head under pillow heart pounding, birds although cat owners here, too quiet but jackdaws and the nightingale had a song she remembered and the traffic began to thunder though ‘there’s a nest by my window babe in the foliage and they’ve got a newborn, all commotion, locomotion’ ... and he felt her drifting off again.



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  #6220  
Old 09-05-2018, 04:58 PM
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"I hope death is it - nothing after", she wrote, considering the unenviable lot of a ghost. Having to watch the ones you love try to fill the void you left behind - getting thrown aside as they heal and move on with their lives ...getting summoned back every time they're lost or afraid. And shadows can take on familiar shapes when your eyes are blurred and the candle - lit to call them - flickers movement on the wall and suggests the arrival of the one that knew you best. Sometimes, it just takes one thing to unleash everything - the tears keep falling and the reasons keep changing. "We call them to witness our misery", Grace said, "forgotten when there's laughter and hope - just photos slung in a drawer as our tyres spit gravel in their faces as we wheelspin away from their years because it hurts too much to stay". And there was nothing to say anymore. "I need you right now" only seemed to invite a softly spoken "but you didn't need me yesterday..." And ghosts always know the truth because our own minds write their dialogue - their unending loyalty and attendance just a comforting thought that silence can never contradict - Grace knew that. Yet, she wouldn't exchange the candle for a bed of thorns and dawn would eventually come,as it always did - and the sunlight would be called upon to end this.
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  #6221  
Old 09-09-2018, 04:33 AM
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repost from elsewhere

the goblin was enjoying the reads now, other people's posts by it, while his work was relaxed enough, though that could change at any moment, then adding "...someone recently asked me why I like to be in the company of young people, where I just confided the point that young people talk about plans and their dreams, those dreams they have yet to realize, they're all about tomorrow then, whereas folks my age are all about the present mostly if not the recollecting their past, so that's my answer I guess, where simply talking to someone my age is like talking to myself or looking into a mirror of who I am, whereas talking to someone young is like talking to what I could have once been perhaps..."


xxxx 6220 483523

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  #6222  
Old 09-09-2018, 04:41 AM
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repost from elsewhere, chatting to anna

"...I'm trying to forget about myself here, because now they're taken her off the chemotherapy due to her low hemoglobin count, and yes I don't think that is a good sign neither, even if she looks well enough for someone repeatedly poisoned by them, a bit thinner than before, weaker perhaps, tied too, but nothing that actually says "cancer" in a big way..." mentioned the goblin either trying to get his head around its implications when his mind was focused upon it, or not trying not to think about it at all as in when unfocused, no not that it would ever go away though, no her life was on hold because of her cancer, yet his lifestyle was just as on hold as hers was now, confiding "...nothing to report, it's like here "it's all quiet of the cancer front"..." yet the war in itself was anything but over, the enemy was just hidden behind those enemy lines


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  #6223  
Old 09-09-2018, 05:09 AM
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"...well, it continues as it has done, only it's more apparent now..." confided the goblin aware that some little things she did for herself he now does for her without comment nor complaint, where they have stopped the treatment for her lack of hemoglobin, and where most hemophiliacs if they do die at all, die from internal bleeding rather than external cuts, adding "...so my wife is fading away, she is diminishing then, yes ghosting away as it were, but she is not broken by it, so nor am I then, I'm just "there for her" now, but not "too there" to make it seem like obvious between us...", where the goblin for his part fell back to dancing to headphones in the dinning room, or posting or chatting upon forums like this, or maybe some nights he'd even go to the disco too only to return before midnight, confiding "...it's like a dance with her blackmailer too, no I can't speak out really, nor change things neither, nor turn back the clock today, moreover I can't breakdown lest others in my family do, yet I promise my movements will match that blackmailer's movements quite step for step, and if I live through this, which mostly likely I will, then my hard won movements will be mine for her still, just I did what I could while I still could, yet all dances have to end somewhere don't they..."


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  #6224  
Old 09-10-2018, 01:47 AM
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Originally Posted by fleamailman View Post
"...someone recently asked me why I like to be in the company of young people, where I just confided the point that young people talk about plans and their dreams, those dreams they have yet to realize, they're all about tomorrow then, whereas folks my age are all about the present mostly if not the recollecting their past, so that's my answer I guess, where simply talking to someone my age is like talking to myself or looking into a mirror of who I am, whereas talking to someone young is like talking to what I could have once been perhaps..."
Aye - a man can have a full life, but if he lives long, and associates only with those his own age, the time comes when he finds himself alone. His contemporaries, and family members he grew up with, even some he raised up himself, will be gone, and he'll be thankful we only have our paltry sixty-to-one hundred years, because with the loss of every friend or child, the sorrow builds, until every day is tinged with sadness.

The only way around it is to either form no attachments, or continually form new ones. Every loss, of a friend or a child or a lover, leaves a hole in our hearts, and with no new friends to fill them those holes are like the gaps in a picket fence, letting the wind blow right through your soul...
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  #6225  
Old 09-10-2018, 11:02 AM
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repost from elsewhere


"...well, I worked sunday and what a busy day it was too, but your company here is no burden promise, in fact I always read all you write and am just happy to have this place to write in between us..." mentioned the goblin who while cycling home from work that day had stopped off at the corner shop for an ice cream that he couldn't eat in front of her, then once home he first washed his hands, then asked her how she was, a simple something like if she felt better today, aware that the day before yesterday, the saturday then, they had managed to walk as far as the coop where it had exhausted her so much that she returned to her bed immediately, the groceries he carried, where this morning being monday now, it had been the usual weekly hoovering, mopping, bathroom and shower room cleaning, all mostly done by him now, whereupon he just smiled relating "...no I'm changing, my previous resentment toward her for being cold now gives way to this feeling of calling instead, simply I must do what is right and do it rightly, so if I don't post much it's only because it's all too actual, too real perhaps, just too new as it were, where my workload at work actually takes me out of myself though to be honest I'm retired moneywise, dancing too takes me out of myself, but that too is just another escape then, yet it like each and every distraction I can think of returns me back to myself afterwards, then I'm just posting here again I guess, trying to make sense of what has no sense then, no not beyond its reality of this blackmail towards us, where the blackmailer calls the shots for all my attentions, my inattentions, or my outright distractions, ah no, no change on that score, it's just "there always and always there"..."


xxxx 6224 483831

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  #6226  
Old 09-12-2018, 01:58 AM
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‘she hadn’t seen me, I’d been standing there all along, am sure of it babe although to be fair I did feel preoccupied’ ... so visibly shaken was the stranger by their encounter that anna had tried to sooth her by confiding the absurdity of the night before - of the rucksack found in the passenger footwell in the still of night belonging to nobody and disappearing some half an hour later without trace from the seats behind where anna had shoved it ... ‘it was most peculiar the woman looked beyond me on the hearing of my nonsense - through me...’ a warm glow returned to her features - anna on the verge of offering the woman a chair who now appeared on closer inspection to be waiting patiently all these years for her cue. ‘She narrated my tale backwards to its beginning babe. It’s odd to feel yourself transported into the company of ancient relatives again, all etiquette, serviettes, bone handled cutlery and silver napkin rings, posture, pauses, all elegance ...’ Those four courses would take forever she recalled as a child and the only thing permissible that could fidget itself away was your mind’s eye ... ‘so whilst undertaking a similar formality this old dear had witnessed her distinguished doctor uncle, a scientist, those despisers of novels - discuss in earnest the experience of his colleague who had picked up a stranger on a remote country lane during a stormy sodden night. They had made conversation and when pulling over later to set him down again found nobody there ... ‘his backpack then!’ her conclusion to anna upon taking to the stairs.

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  #6227  
Old 09-12-2018, 04:25 AM
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repost from elsewhere


the next day and work is busy enough to keep the goblin's mind off thoughts of home, smiling "...yes, that sounds odd doesn't it, I mean there is only a certain amount one can think upon any one pressing subject before that fear of neurosis urges one to escape from it like this, work is an escape then, so is dancing too, so is thinking about possible yet impossible relationships, none of which meant anything really, nor had anything to do with slow passing of time and her encroaching cancer, ah yes, that was its reality for all one's distractions...", somewhere in the back of the goblin's imagination that ever set alarm made a small noise yet again interrupting the goblin's posting here, her medicine time rang, and where the goblin guessed that that hated sound was yet another moment in a series of trivia that had to be for now, these rituals as it were, then adding "...just I want to be happy then, only that this is my staying with death to her leaving with death, no I can't allow myself to break by it, yet in my way I'm already broken, that's all..." the alarm that wasn't even there bar in the back of the goblin's mind went quiet once more




xxxx 6226 484080

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  #6228  
Old 09-12-2018, 05:12 AM
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"...big day today..." mentioned the goblin knowing his wife had her appointment with the doctor to find out "both what it meant and what's in store", and why they had stopped her treatment, and what would replace it, the what and when, then adding "...not that it changes the underlying reality of its blackmail, only the price changes perhaps, together with the timeframe too, but not what cancer is and what cancer means really...", the day was low cloud with perhaps a clear blue sky in the mountains beyond geneva, yet the goblin would know soon enough, for work was non stop till some time next week, and the goblin always dived his into work, but however much the dived in, it, like the rest too, didn't quite preoccupy his thoughts enough, eventually he'd find himself thinking this through without any conclusion bar its continuation as must be



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  #6229  
Old 09-12-2018, 05:18 AM
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"...me, I so much want to write more, and to show you that I'm that same goblin still..." whispered the goblin filled full with work though, yet with a wish to not think now, adding "...no, I'll write tomorrow promise as this post is just to say that I've not given up on us as it were..." and with that the goblin was off to the disco to dance to the muse's whims knowing that it didn't mean anything bar a wish within him to escape from thinking, and to blot out those day's work considerations, together with her evening's ritual too, by just letting the body take over from the mind, smiling "..."slim down, muscle up and have sex", ok I'll admit that the last bit is not going to happen because I won't let it happen, but even so I'm going to push my body as if it were real true there, and then I'm going to cycle home alone of course feeling ageless as should be..."


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  #6230  
Old 09-13-2018, 10:40 AM
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"...anger uplifts the soul, me I'm going to dance through this I swear..." ventured the goblin so fed up with it though, then adding "...one day at a time, just make it to the end of that day and the day is won there, patience...", where the goblin's wife was the one who was actually ill yet he didn't look nor feel much better than she did at this point, adding "...ah yes, this unsaid reality here, an elephant of consequence of course, just all this blackmail has to be hasn't it, so bring it on now, no my anger is not directed towards anyone, for no one is to blame bar the cancer itself, not even myself now, no I'm simply angry, real angry in fact, why, because I can get by being angry then, whereas I very much doubt that I could get by despairing over it..."


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Old 09-14-2018, 06:42 AM
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"...and of course the line is ever "please don't touch me nor ask me to do things for you", though it's hard to pluck up the courage to actually say that line outright to her, plus it confirms the fact to oneself at least, if not to everyone else around one too, that it was indeed nothing more than "a dog in a friendzone"..." mentioned the goblin wondering what xxxxx thought of those type men and that type relationship, adding "...no, most men actually like to be dogs, simply they like being petted, where maybe deepdown they dream about sex too, though more likely on a day to day basis they just want that petting and that reassurance of it, whereas when she stops touching one and one stop pleasing her in return too then the bond breaks of its own accord eventually...", in fact, the goblin's marriage was ever "for the family" still, confiding "...I often reach out to touch my wife on her shoulder to reassure her but never in all so many years has my wife reached out to touch me back, no I could ask her to reach out more, but then that would only be because I had asked her to do so, I'd know and it wouldn't count, to which when someone else now touches me I feel so reassured, being the start of that toxic friendzone I guess..."


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Old 09-14-2018, 01:00 PM
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"C'mon now Flea - time to think outside of the box", Grace wrote, considering his need for physical contact. "You need to start frequenting the hang-outs of huggers and squeezers", she said, thinking of the film 'Fight Club' and recalling Edward Norton and Marla attending every support group across the city just to spend three minutes locked in a life-affirming embrace with a stranger at the end of the session. "Sign up for everything Geneva has to offer", Grace enthused - imagining a fictitious drink problem might secure him a few minutes crushed against a warm chest. Grace smiled at the thought of Flea throwing shapes in his insular 'berth of respect' when his palm could be primly pressed into the small of a woman's back as he propels her across the floor in a show-stopping tango. "Or the Paso Doble", Grace mentioned - those undulating hip swivels and thigh-riding female gyrations more exhilirating than his bike ride home. And Grace mentally crossed this idea off her list as too trouser stirring for someone who needed to be eased in gently. "How 'bout church?" she chirped - thinking that navigating his way through such an assembly of natural huggers had all the ingredients of line dancing without the music and obligatory chequered shirt. "Seances Flea!", Grace thundered in a eureka moment, "holding hands in the dark - knee to knee - waiting for the table to vibrate and rise." Grace snorted and took a slug of coffee in a bid to fire up more brain cells to apply to the problem in hand. "Is there a dog pound that you could volunteer yourself to as a walker?", she pondered, not able to imagine life without the brown-eyed devotion and booty-wagging welcomes of Old Faithful, and thinking of Flea bouncing along on his mountainous weekend jaunts with a four-legged love-machine in tow. And Grace shook her head, releasing these droplets of thought like a Labrador emerging from the surf and three, two, one...she was back in the room. "No...really", Grace wrote, trying to be serious now, "my best advice is to only travel on the tube in peak commuting hours. Six stops sardined in human warmth and brushing fingers on the hand rail is possibly better than nothing". And her face erupted into a mischievous grin - hugging him now as T I G H T as emboldened capital letters would allow her then....
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Old 09-14-2018, 04:36 PM
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"So - not so much 'married' but more like single with a known impediment", Grace pondered, sifting through Flea's posts and pairing his words to her thoughts in that 'near enough' partnership of black and navy socks. A litigious glance taking in his honouring of contractual obligations when his spouse's failure to deliver on the most fundamental clause of their agreement rendered the contract obsolete in her eyes. "No, you are doing the right thing for the right reasons", Grace offered, knowing that time left with the captain was uncertain - but making sure he could live at ease with his conscience was the more important 'til death do us part' relationship to invest in now - any break from her usual detachment likely to be more confusing than comforting in such a long-established norm of emotional and physical independence. "Yes..for the children", Grace acknowledged, "whether that be staying together or staying alone, we pick the toughest route so their feet will never tread those stones whilst they remain under our protection."
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Old 09-15-2018, 01:25 PM
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‘no, no’ thought anna cupping the warm glaze, latte grin, nipple sweet hue the lip she bit, gazing through her reflection to a human river milling in the inky potential of evening endeavor ... ‘it has nothing to be doing with the right or wrong of thing nor reason’ ... searching their eyes as they meandered through she pondered sheepishly, ‘d’ya think they have inies or outies babe? because without exception a knot was tied’ ... ducking down her gaze she studied the frothy milk residue and whispered ... ‘it’s not about conscience neither, not what results for the living dead but what aids the dead living ...’ Duty is like a pot for cooking any manner of calculated broth she pondered whilst nibbling a pastry. ‘The captain, look into her middle, cup her hands and heart, compassion is - gut-felt-wrench, and cry. Cocoon those children in the nakedness of your deepest despair and find your solace and cuddles there.’

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Old 09-15-2018, 07:01 PM
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"A beautifully written post anna", Grace marvelled, yet countering her "no, no" with a "yes, yes" reply. "Well...wouldn't be us if I didn't", she grinned. And all that cupping and holding was the language of love and unity - an intimacy that can't be foisted upon an empty Russian nesting doll - looking into the captain's "middle" to find nothing but space - all those ever-diminshing versions of his lover long gone now. And if a reassuring touch to the shoulder is brushed away like a raindrop...if that unspoken elephant in the room hasn't induced fear or re-appraisal enough for her to cling to him, then the healing power of touch must be sought in some platonic elsewhere... because those shoulders will take the weight of his children's sadness along with his own." And Grace realised that there was no such thing as ever 'off hands' with children, regardless of whether they're four or forty-four. "I doubt he'd burden their lives with his pain nor welcome their anxious vigil over him when opportunities and excitement draw them away..what parent would want them to circle back and clip their wings through worry? And if it came to it, of course there will be shared grief...but the censored grief of a protective father..protective husband..because daily life is the masked ball ..not through devious deception but our inherent need to shield the world from our truth - and shield our truth from the world." Grace shrugged - French style - "No, we're far more than just words on a page", she wrote, "we're people behind the words...letting our authentic selves off the leash because the sentiment can never be matched to the face...our clifftop to openly scream from...because there's duty in everything.. everywhere..'cept here between us".
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Old 09-16-2018, 06:44 AM
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("...great reads..." went the goblin taking all advice seriously, then adding "...well, the blackmailer is like on the ignore list now, meaning that as far as my dailylife goes, it's both "I'm not to ask her since it reminds her of it, moreover I'm not to tell anyone lest they remind her too", yet the boss knows as do most of those whom I work with, where fortunately my work circle and my home front are two worlds apart...")


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a bright sunny day at work where the goblin ignores the fact that he's in their badbooks for saying the wrong thing to women again, where with women generally you can say a hundreds of things right and of course she'll pick up upon the one thing you say wrong, so the goblin excused himself by saying "...I mean how was I to know that this miss whoever she was had found out about her man's infidelity and had kicked him out, so my usual advise on some unrelated topic of "slim down, muscle up and have sex" kind of fell on deaf ears, nope, rather prickly ears to be more precise here, as the women closed ranks, and where the goblin's insensitivity towards her plight seemed quite unforgivable to them...", meanwhile they overlook the fact that the goblin looks after another woman who has cancer, smiling "...my problem is that there aren't any women my age, or even close to my age, so they all come across as somewhat dumb and childish, for example when my wife was unfaithful I was able to subdue my anger towards her enough to keep her looking after the children "for the sake of the children" rather than causing a second divorce, which could have just as easily happened, so yes that "for the sake of the children" idea cuts both ways to both partners...", and although the goblin wouldn't say it to their faces he felt that if that man had actually dumped her for someone else, then he'd sympathize more, but as it was it was she that throws him out and then wants sympathy due to her now being without him now



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"...agreed, "for the family" can only be continued if the trust it still there, if not, then one had better separate, not only because the trust is gone but because it'll only happen again, so I kind of gave my wife leeway enough to decide things between us, I mean I could have pulled the plug myself, but children suffer like that as it's not the same thing for them as having both parents there, well if both parents can still trust one another I mean..." mentioned the goblin who always liked to have someone with him, confiding "...my birthday soon, normally my wife makes a meal of sorts, impossible this year so instead she suggested we go have an indian meal, and where normally the children tag along as buffers, yet I think she wants to be alone with me this time, yes restaurants are a great place to pin someone down into a certain type of conversation, no I'll explain more in my next then, but I suspect too that she thinks that her treatment isn't going according to plan, so anyway I feel like this meal is like a setup, yet I won't know what I'm walking into till I walk into it..."



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Old 09-18-2018, 02:57 AM
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And Grace turned up - her limbs still opium-heavy with sleep and her mind full of London traffic - thoughts jostling and beeping impatiently as they queued for her attention and mounted the kerb in illegal deviations to assert their position at the forefront of her mind. And Grace reached for her trusty traffic cop - the pen - and divided a blank page with four biro slashes to create an M25 discipline of laned thought - the most urgent flooring the accelerator and powering up the far right of the paper - the throaty roar of meaty engines deafening as the unpurposeful were swept across to the slow lane to potter along in their aimless Morris Minor meander. And her coffee had the bite and texture of pureed liquorice as she threw down the last mouthful with the face of a child taking medicine - feeling it course to her brain and explode like a firework to expand her pupils from saucers to dinner plates - left leg working an invisible pedal as she pumped herself up for action - right hand tapping a quick beat with a biro to seduce her onto daily life's dance floor. And her pen was ruthless now - murdering thoughts with a fatal blue slash through their middle - promoting others to capital letter importance and lining them up in an impenetrable Rorke's Drift formation - Michael Caine, all braids and magnificence, screaming "Fire!" as her solutions mowed down today's onslaught of Zulu warriors - her jawline set to a stern Gregory Peck-ness as she won it all on paper before she'd even left home then.
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Old 09-18-2018, 08:53 AM
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"...and you're always there for me, something that's more than most goblins ever get from you humans now..." mentioned the goblin both happy and unhappy on a sunny day in chamonix that seemed at least slowed down enough to explain things here, relating "...so they arranged to have her blood taken monday, then they phoned back that evening to say that the laboratory needs some more blood still, blood taken tuesday morning, tuesday afternoon the doctor phones to ask if she has any bruising and to be careful not to knock herself, where today wednesday they want yet more blood again, where yes my wife has unhealed bruising where she banged herself and clearly her lack to hemoglobin shows by it, though what all this actually means, and whether they'll tell us what all this actually means is an unknown to us...", and then there was ever those loose ends on her part, those blancs as it were that the captain had to fill in about what she wanted for herself in case things didn't quite turn out as planned, relating "...ah no, one doesn't dare ask does one, so instead one waits to be told without ever asking, while calculating things for oneself in the rare case that one isn't told in time..."


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"...well, I'll be honest at work I am still escaping her friendzone as I'm no dog to be sure, and she's not right for me, moreover I'm in no position to respond if I were her dog, so it's a mutual "ignore each other" now, which is probably getting to me more than her because I'm like frollo to her esmeralda, but since I have initiated this rejection I now have to go through with it, and I will for sure, as neither toxic friendzones nor infidelity are things I can live with, no I'm just old school perhaps, or maybe I'm just old period..." mentioned the goblin suspecting too that in his heart he would still like to marry her for her youth, then flinging his heart to the ground, he repeated to himself "...ah no, he who lives by the dick dies by the divorce...", yet his heart still wailed away, all to no avail though



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