WritersBeat.com
 

Go Back   WritersBeat.com > Write Here > Poetry > Lyrics

Lyrics Put the writing to the "beat"!


Women From The Past

Reply
 
Thread Tools
  #1  
Old 05-08-2013, 04:58 PM
Jim Colyer's Avatar
Jim Colyer (Offline)
Heartbreaking Writer of Staggering Genius
Official Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Nashville, Tennessee
Posts: 1,641
Thanks: 18
Thanks 182
Default Women From The Past


WOMEN FROM THE PAST
They haunt me still
I think about them
I always will
WOMEN FROM THE PAST
Too many to count
I'll name a few
Leave the rest out

There was Jean in the 60s
She was my first love
We were just kids
We learned so much

There was Candy in the 70s
She had super boobs
The army came between us
A tough one to lose

WOMEN FROM THE PAST
They haunt me still
I think about them
I always will
WOMEN FROM THE PAST
Too many to count
I'll name a few
Leave the rest out

There was Karen in the 80s
She had my child
We should be together
I was too wild

There was Pam in the 90s
She liked Garth Brooks
She sang my songs
With those killer looks

WOMEN FROM THE PAST
They haunt me still
I think about them
I always will
WOMEN FROM THE PAST
Too many to count
I'll name a few
Leave the rest out

There was Kim in the 10s
A Michigan girl
She came to Nashville
She rocked my world

Now there's Jenny in the teens
She's half my age
Who's gonna stop us?
We're all the rage

WOMEN FROM THE PAST
They haunt me still
I think about them
I always will
WOMEN FROM THE PAST
Too many to count
I'll name a few
Leave the rest out

Jim Colyer ascap

Attached Images
File Type: jpg Candy.jpg (19.9 KB, 1 views)
__________________
JIM COLYER ALBUMS with PAM, KYMBERLY & ANNIE.

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 05-11-2013, 12:30 PM
DunbarSI's Avatar
DunbarSI (Offline)
Scribbler
Official Member
 
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 25
Thanks: 4
Thanks 8
Default

I like this. Simple, but it's sort of sweet you recounting them (so fondly, and skipping what I'm sure must have been some sad parts). The rhyme scheme actually flows pretty well without sounding like a nursery rhyme.

This is one of those 'hindsight' sort of songs, but I like that you mention a little bit about what you loved in each woman. It feels personal and realistic, which is essential to songwriting.

I think you should change up the last line of the lyric though, for a proper ending. I'd have liked something more concrete. Some resolution or something. A big statement. Idk.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to DunbarSI For This Useful Post:
Jim Colyer (05-11-2013)
  #3  
Old 05-11-2013, 03:02 PM
Jim Colyer's Avatar
Jim Colyer (Offline)
Heartbreaking Writer of Staggering Genius
Official Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Nashville, Tennessee
Posts: 1,641
Thanks: 18
Thanks 182
Default

Thanks for your comments.
__________________
JIM COLYER ALBUMS with PAM, KYMBERLY & ANNIE.

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 05-11-2013, 05:20 PM
Cityboy (Offline)
Still Clicking!
Official Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 4,679
Thanks: 32
Thanks 185
Default

Nice work, Jim.

Reminds me of a song by Dion: The Pattern of My LIfeline

Lyrics

The Pattern of My Lifeline

linda taught me geometric tables

But only you said, let's begin again"

Karen demonstrated every dance step

Laura bought me all that money could buy

Sherry cooked dinners like a French gourmet

But only you could see through every lie.

Chorus:

Maybe that's the pattern of my lifeline

Maybe I've been misled far too long

Now you and I can find the truth on down the line

It makes no difference If sometimes we're wrong.

Jeannie knew the wild inside of summer

Carol claimed her health foods made me well

Gina lost herself In books to guide her

But only you knew more than they could tell.

Repeat chorus

Maybe that's the pattern of my lifeline

Maybe I've been misled far too long

Now you and I can find the truth on down the line

It makes no difference If sometimes we're wrong.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 05-13-2013, 10:14 AM
JustcallmeEd (Offline)
Official Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Humboldt Co., California
Posts: 4,796
Thanks: 370
Thanks 697
Default

Ah, the loves! The ones I lost and regretted, the ones I couldn't get rid of fast enough, the ones I couldn't get rid of, the ones I didn't know about until too late, the ones who, even today, bring back warm memories.I've never known long-term happiness with any one person, but, ah, the loves!
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 05-13-2013, 10:16 AM
Jim Colyer's Avatar
Jim Colyer (Offline)
Heartbreaking Writer of Staggering Genius
Official Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Nashville, Tennessee
Posts: 1,641
Thanks: 18
Thanks 182
Default

Originally Posted by JustcallmeEd View Post
Ah, the loves! The ones I lost and regretted, the ones I couldn't get rid of fast enough, the ones I couldn't get rid of, the ones I didn't know about until too late, the ones who, even today, bring back warm memories.I've never known long-term happiness with any one person, but, ah, the loves!
So true!
__________________
JIM COLYER ALBUMS with PAM, KYMBERLY & ANNIE.

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Reply With Quote
Reply

  WritersBeat.com > Write Here > Poetry > Lyrics


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
A Tense Lesson Devon Grammar 0 12-03-2011 11:15 AM
The Christdolou Gambit/Double Standard richards89 Fiction 3 06-07-2011 05:02 PM
Past and Past Participle HoiLei Grammar 0 03-05-2009 10:43 AM
Here is chapters 5 & 6 JRFleshmen Fiction 3 06-08-2008 04:28 AM
QWF: Quality Women's Fiction Jay Writing Markets 3 06-07-2006 02:08 PM


All times are GMT -8. The time now is 10:43 AM.

vBulletin, Copyright © 2000-2006, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.