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Operator Please

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  #1  
Old 06-30-2012, 11:04 AM
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Default Operator Please


Shaking hands and unease
Operator, please
Pass me back to my mind

I had plans that you seized
Operator, please
Heart attack and flatlined

My insanity
Is howling out to me
It calls long into, the night
It’s a staggered path I tread
But as my demons said
Everything, will be
alright.

It’s a high fall from trapeze
Operator, please
Let me out of your sight

This is your expertise
Operator, please
Lead me toward the light

My insanity
Is howling out to me
It calls long into, the night
It’s a staggered path I tread
But as my demons said
Everything, will be
alright.

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‘Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia’ – E. L. Doctorow

Last edited by Ink; 07-01-2012 at 02:14 AM..
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  #2  
Old 06-30-2012, 05:26 PM
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lacks imminence
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Old 06-30-2012, 07:20 PM
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I think it's fabulous. The lines after:"It’s a madman’s path I tread" are kind of perfect. But that line itself falls lame. Show that the MC is a madman. It kind of makes it obvious, blaringly different the tone of rest of the poem.
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Old 06-30-2012, 11:46 PM
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Man! This guy is so wild whenever he's not writing poems on the computer! Insane, really! Cool work!
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