 |
|
|
|
|
|
|||||||
| Poetry Sit down or take a stand in this poetry section. |
Funeral - Regnga Attempt 2
 |
|
|
Thread Tools |
|
#1
01-14-2007, 10:34 PM
|
|||
|
|||
Deleted, edited and reposted as Funeral #19.
Last edited by JRT; 01-15-2007 at 04:22 AM.. Reason: See post 
|
|
#2
01-15-2007, 12:28 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
A powerful description...liked it a lot...the opening was awesome....Darkness shadows light....
forget pride, forget your shame. (7) One moment, it's gone. (5)... i think instea of a comma...and would have suited better...comma breaks the rhythm in some sense. Immortal you said; (5) your headstone's already gray. (7) Who knows anyway? (5) Here, who knows anyway?...doesn't ring a plenty bells...from the perspective of the upper two lines. The end is also nice....pain and pleasure do remain... A very nice poem indeed.....cheers.
|
|
#3
01-15-2007, 02:17 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
See Funeral #19
Last edited by JRT; 01-15-2007 at 04:24 AM..
|
|
|
«
Previous Thread
|
Next Thread
»
| Thread Tools | |
|
|
Similar Threads
|
||||
| Thread | Thread Starter | Forum | Replies | Last Post |
| First attempt at something not horror (Golden Ring) | DFischer | Fiction | 1 | 08-19-2010 12:25 PM |
| Funeral No. 2 | JRT | Poetry | 1 | 11-26-2006 09:58 PM |
All times are GMT -8. The time now is 08:24 AM.
