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un-fairy tale

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Old 10-22-2017, 11:54 AM
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pralina (Offline)
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Default un-fairy tale

Have you seen the rainbow?
Itís brighter than before.
The colors glow and sparkle,
as if they were toxic.

Have you seen the pixie?
Someone stole his gold.
He sits in an empty pot,
smoking a cigar.

The fairy seems overtired
as if she worked too hard.
Last night Santa saw her
leaning against a street lamp.

When did we stop believing in magic?
When did we lose our souls?

Why donít we clap when Tinkerbell dies?
When did we stop counting stars?

Have you seen the rainbow?
Itís fainter than before.

I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night.
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Old 10-22-2017, 06:06 PM
Elenita (Offline)
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I loved reading this poem, it's simple but effective in it's imagery. The stanza about the fairy and Santa paints an especially striking image.

Of all the stanzas I feel like this one "When did we stop believing in magic?/When did we lose our souls?" is the weakest, it could be strengthened by more creativity like the Tinkerbell line in the following stanza. Just my opinion.

And this line "I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night" is literally one of my favorite lines of poetry ever it made me smile to see it!

Cant wait to read more of your poetry.
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