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Tips for Pansies

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  #1  
Old 07-29-2012, 11:23 AM
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beefheart (Offline)
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Default Tips for Pansies


It's not so bad,
being alone,
so long as you're
equipped
to handle it.

It takes time
to figure this out.
First it feels like dying.
Then it feels like cumming.
Cumming with independence.

There's room on the bed now,
for cats and thoughts
and dreaming.
Mostly,
it is quiet.

Accepting this --
like the
thunderous applause
of a thousand
commending peers.

And all those
you find yourself
surrounded by
are lonely
just the same.

You are not alone
in your loneliness.

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  #2  
Old 07-29-2012, 01:08 PM
WilliamS. (Offline)
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Actually, by definition I believe you are alone in your loneliness, sorry to break it to you. Anyway, even if the other lonely ones were there being lonely with you they probably wouldn't have much to offer, so you'd wish you were alone. It's not that bad of a world if you avoid lonely people.
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Old 07-29-2012, 11:39 PM
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Wow, that first stanza is so true, I related a lot with it, nicely written!
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Old 07-30-2012, 07:51 AM
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I write poetry to work through my feelings too, and it seems like folks are responding to the feeling of the piece. So let me congratulate you for writing a piece that's emotionally evocative! I was immediately drawn towards the experience the narrator is having, and empathetically related. I was a little taken by the phrasing, but at this point I can't really see the poem's structure.

I will say this: The title of the poem is a little... snide. It doesn't serve the earnestness of what you've written here.

Keep going!
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Old 07-31-2012, 04:07 AM
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Wonderful!! Your best poem yet! I agree. The title doesn't serve the poem well. Thanks beef!
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Old 07-31-2012, 01:53 PM
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Wonderful! There's nothing wrong with loneliness. In fact, out of a lonely mind, cums amazing things...
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Old 07-31-2012, 05:37 PM
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This is nice and simple. It feels like acceptance, but not resignation. Heartfelt, but not maudlin.

I am not easily offended -- I've just never like the word "cum." I wish there was another way to express that in a way that isn't either clinical or so lacking in subtlety. Oh well.

Nice work.
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