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The Night

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Old 04-23-2012, 12:08 PM
Mystick10 (Offline)
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Default The Night


I've been writing poems since I was 12, and I think I have improved a lot =)

This is one of my favorite poems (of mine), called The Night (traduction):

She is the night,
the one who plays hide and seek with time and illusions.

She is the night,
the one who walks through the gardens of the early morning.

She is the night,
the one who dances through her brilliant and rounded stars.

She is the night,
the one who doesn't know what the lost time is.

She is the night,
the one who waited for the summer sun
that never, never came.


Spanish (original):

Ella es la noche,
la que juega a las escondidas
con el tiempo y las ilusiones.

Ella es la noche,
la que camina a través
de los jardines del temprano amanecer.

Ella es la noche,
la que danza entre sus estrellas brillantes y redondas.

Ella es la noche,
la que no sabe qué es el tiempo perdido.

Ella es la noche,
la que esperó al sol de verano
que nunca, nunca llegó.

Please tell me what you think! =D

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Last edited by Mystick10; 04-23-2012 at 12:11 PM..
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Old 04-23-2012, 12:32 PM
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Nick Pierce (Offline)
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Originally Posted by Mystick10 View Post
tell me what you think
Very structured.
Another 30 or so years of life will have you loose enough to dance without your shoes on.
Keep going.
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Old 04-23-2012, 01:27 PM
Mystick10 (Offline)
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I'll suppose your suggesting more experimentation on my part?
If that's your point... don't worry, I have a lot of experimental ideas =)
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He watched me grow up, and I watched him grow old."
He also stole my money
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Old 04-23-2012, 05:20 PM
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I enjoyed this. It definitely flows better in Spanish, though.
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Old 04-24-2012, 10:02 AM
Mystick10 (Offline)
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As I already said, blame the traductions! =)

Glad you liked it!
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He also stole my money
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