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Sex on the table

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  #1  
Old 07-01-2011, 06:41 PM
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Default Sex on the table


Sex On The Table

He spooned Banoffee, whilst she nursed a coffee
The candle had cringed into stalactites
His hand warmed her thigh, as he loosened his tie
He'd trade her three courses for conjugal rights.

His scrutiny searing, she fingered her earring
Her other hand toyed with the hem of her dress
He thought of her arse, as he cradled his glass
His thumb gave the crystal a slow, damp caress.

He sat, legs akimbo, his lust hung in limbo
Aroused by the business and pleasure mix
Arms folded across her, rebuffing the offer
Her ankles locked tight in a crucifix.

Through blatant suggestion, the unspoken question
Was served before them to taste and to touch
Her voice, strong and terse, as she slapped down her purse
She declared the game over with:"We're going Dutch".

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Last edited by Grace Gabriel; 07-02-2011 at 05:29 AM..
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Old 07-01-2011, 11:37 PM
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I'll be honest, when I opened this it was with a moderators eye because of the title and it not being in the adult forum.

However, having read it, there's nothing naughty really going on (apart from in the mans mind) and you have started my Saturday morning off with a big grin.

Some great lines in this, in particular the about the candle. Overall a great piece of verse. Very witty and clever.
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Old 07-01-2011, 11:52 PM
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I'll be honest, when I opened this it was with a moderators eye because of the title and it not being in the adult forum.
Agreed there, but like Lorry once I read it the duty fell off me Great little piece. Funny, good flow, nice imagery. Being Dutch, I can't help but wonder what 'going Dutch' means, though. Lol!
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Old 07-02-2011, 01:58 AM
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Going Dutch means to go double or split the bill.
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Old 07-02-2011, 04:59 AM
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Stalactites hang from the ceiling, do you mean stalagmites?
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Old 07-02-2011, 05:25 AM
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Candle wax drips down, the rivulets hanging like stalactites.
Stalacmites push upwards, like a bottom set of shark's teeth.

Many thanks Lorry, and Ilseum - didn't mean to scare you!
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Old 07-02-2011, 01:09 PM
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Oh, no harm done. I wasn't scared, just curious
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Old 07-03-2011, 04:27 PM
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Thanks Ilseum! Never had critique which was exclusively provided by Moderators before! Hope my next piece, entitled "Every Four Letter Word I Can Think Of" will equally grab your attention!
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Old 07-03-2011, 06:59 PM
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Totally thought this was gonna be something different, pleasantly surprised. Good stuff, I creative concept.
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Old 07-03-2011, 08:29 PM
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This was an absolute delight. I wish I could think of something more constructive to add, but this one simply tickled me. Way to start the races for the next Member's Choice.
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Old 07-03-2011, 10:31 PM
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Originally Posted by Grace Gabriel View Post
Candle wax drips down, the rivulets hanging like stalactites.
Stalacmites push upwards, like a bottom set of shark's teeth.
That makes more sense, I got the image that the overflowing wax had settled in such a way that the entire candle looked like a stalactite, getting wider at the bottom and rings of wax deposits along the edge, and since candles stand upright I though stalagmite would be more appropriate.
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Old 07-04-2011, 03:14 AM
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Any critique that makes me reconsider, and think twice is good - so many thanks Tau. We can look at exactly the same thing, but our perception will make us each see something different.
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Old 07-04-2011, 03:16 AM
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Many thanks Crooked. So glad it tickled you - its meant to be fun.

Malavox, thanks for commenting. Much appreciated.
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Old 07-10-2011, 09:52 AM
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It's a lazy Sunday morning and hot outside here in New Mexico so just throwing my two cents worth around. I really enjoyed your piece. I was truly fun to read and made me laugh. The only thing I saw that I can offer is; "He thought of her arse, as he cradled his glass."

An Americanized version of this would rhyme much better.

Great job. Small wonder it got so much attention.
Keep on writing!
R.
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Old 07-10-2011, 10:07 AM
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I think if we brought him considering donkeys the mods may have an issue

Great as usual Grace.
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Old 07-10-2011, 01:52 PM
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Originally Posted by Waterpoor View Post
The only thing I saw that I can offer is; "He thought of her arse, as he cradled his glass."

An Americanized version of this would rhyme much better.
I may have to disagree. With my accent, as a Brit from the posh 'Home Counties' I read 'arse' and 'glass' as rhymes.
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Old 07-11-2011, 12:49 PM
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LOL! My mind went the same place as yours Anya!

Thanks for your comments Waterpoor. The American spelling of arse isn'tmuch used in UK - an ass is a small donkey here - and this confusion might get me whipped off to the adults only section!! Arse and glass have the same sound in my accent (so plum in the mouth Brit, my gob could pass as a fruit bowl.) I love the diversity of us all here, its fantastic! Many thanks for your comments, and joining in the fun!

Thanks Lorry!
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