The Birth of "Civilized" Warfare, Act 1

[Lucian]

Well this is my first attempt of script writing the idea for this came to me while watching "The Patriot" so yeah. please be sure to let me know what you think as honestly as possible.

ACT I

Scene 1

(Four men are sitting at a round table with
crumpets and jam pantomime arguing. Two are
wearing red over-coats and the others are in
blue.)

Narrator: Ah, The struggle for control, the need to
dominate, the desire to rule! this, this is what great
nations are built upon! We now observe a great moment
in the history of man. After thousands of years the
rules of war are now going under great renovations!
Now, let us hear what these great and powerful
intellectuals are discussing at this very pressing
moment in time....


Charles: Jam should be used for crumpets!


Roger:Indeed!


Pierre: Non non non! You will taint the ever so
delicate taste of the crumpet!


Jacques: Oui. He is right maybe you should just shu...


CHARLES: Silence! Jam enhances the flavor of the
crumpet and we are going to sit here and ENJOY every
single last bit of bread and jam! Otherwise i will have
you dragged out of here and have your ridiculous
goatees drawn and quartered, put the rest of you on a
jackass that’s walking backwards and have small,
repressed, under privileged children beat the living
bajezuzs out of you with day old trout and send your
sorry asses back to your land of jam less bread!!!


ROGER: Indeed!


PIERRE: Forgive us monsieur..let us continue with the
topic that has brought us here today


CHARLES: Thats more like it! Now as you all know we are
tired of the hacking, the slicing, the anguish screams,
the...


ROGER: The getting blood stains all over our nice red
uniforms!


CHARLES: Most definantly!


PIERRE: This is ridiculous....


CHARLES: Be quiet! Now Roger and I wish to present a
more "class-say" way of fighting




ROGER: Indeed!


JACQUES: You do realize of course that "classy" is not
of French orgin right?


CHARLES: Of course it’s not...


PIERRE: Non he is right it is not French!



CHARLES: Now look here! Who would know if "clas-say" is
French or not? us English men who are of highly
esteemed families, highly educated, have knowlege of
most major languages. Or i suppose you greatly
Intelligent Frenchmen would be better educated even
though the extent of your knowlege is how to make
smelly chesse and wine that taste like trough water.


PIERRE: Have you forgotten monsiuer, that we are
French?


CHARLES: How could I?


JACQUES: Then you would know that we have knowledge of
all languages.


ROGER:is That so? I don’t believe you! Why would you
ever need that?

(Frenchmen exhibit a preplexed look)

JACQUES:Monsiuer, we are French


CHARLES: What does that matter? just answer the bloody
question!


PIERRE: Well, if anyone of any known nation were to
cross our border...


JACQUES: We’d be ready to surrender at a moments
notice!


PIERRE: Translators are so unreliable



JACQUES:Had they known how to speak "plague" we could
have surrendered and avoided that mess all together.


CHARLES: Oh shut up you ninnies! Now are we going to
change the rules or not?


PIERRE: non. we shall always surrender.


ROGER: Thats not what he ment!




PIERRE: Fermez la bouche!





ROGER: Did he just call me...


CHARLES: We see this as an act of war!



JACQUES: Fine! we shall see you at the front!


ROGER: Fine!


PIERRE: Jacques, let us leave...


JACQUES:Oui oui!

(both exit set Jacques carring something away)

ROGER:well that was disastrous...


CHARLES: Lets just find a way to prepare for war...


ROGER: Crumpet sir?

CHARLES: Please o and do add that delectable

boisonberry jam.


ROGER: My pleasure si...Damn them!


CHARLES: What?!?


ROGER:They took the boisonberry!


CHARLES: Those rats!


ROGER: After the bastards!

(Both run off stage after PIERRE and JACQUES)

END OF ACT 1


-Lucian Leroy

[PersonaNonGrata]

Not bad at all, I liked it very much. As I have almost never before written (Or reviewed) script, I don't know if my own input matters much. But I really did like the style of the writting. Good sense of humor involved for the whole of it, enough of it seemed 'unrealistic' that it would be amusing to see in a movie.

Hope I didn't inflate your ego, but you still liked my praise.