Thread: The Coffee Shop
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Old 06-20-2006, 11:02 PM
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DFischer (Offline)
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Default The Coffee Shop

Here's our current menu. If you'd like to suggest for something, let us know...

Café's Menu


The Head Chef's explosive favorite.

===The Fireball===
Well, one of our waitresses throws a fireball at you. Drink it if you can.

===Old Age Spirits===
Made in the 1500's, drunk in the 1500's, refilled and sold to you- now.

===Turtle Toe Tea===
Turtle's toes in green tea.

===Calamari Coffee===
Ground-up callamari in your favorite cup of Joe

===Rabid Bat Coffee===
Classic roast, with an exciting dash of diseased flying rodent.

-Medicine Beverages-

Here is the concoction you've been waiting for!
Rubbing Alchohal + Dirt + Tylenol + Acid + Coffee
Mixed in one mighty brew, and steamed to perfection!

===Dog Bog===
Highly concentrated doggy ear medicine, mixed with paint thinner and a piece of dry ice.
Not for dogs, it will kill them.

===Meat Shake===
You name it, we got it: in the blender of course!
Dog meat, cat meat, racoon meat, baboon meat,
frog meat, fox meat, beaver meat, penguin meat... so many choices!
Blended with 10 different meats and powerful pain killers

-Main Courses-

===Clammy Chowder===
Served cold. Might be frozen. Contains unknown radioactive ingredients.

===Magical Paste===
Made of drywall, lime, beer, ricotta cheese, and pale orange juice.
It cleanses the mind!
!Be sure to look for a bonus drywall on the side!

===Burnt Soup===
Tastes just like steak, basking in the raw heat of the sun for three years.

===Pigeon and Monkey Musical===
A massive mixture of fresh pigeon and monkey roadkill.
Can be served with one of the two dressing- Motor Oil, Liquid Nitrogen

===Sulferic Acid Shrimp===
Shrimp cooked in pure sulfuric acid.
It might taste good, if you still have a tongue after eating it.

===Smiley Pancakes===
Piss-filled bread, shaped in a circle and topped with poison ivy.
Does NOT look like a smiley face.

-Side Courses-

Like chips. Only hard, salty, and disgusting.

Everyone knows what these choclatey treats are...

Your choice of fingers from monkeys, gorillas, humans, or sloths.
Sloth fingers may take longer than the rest to get to you.

Not a misspelling. Everybody's favourite appendage, served up crispy and buttered!
Available with or without nail.

-Pastries & Desserts-

===Mucus Cake===
With your choice of a juicy, rotten tomato filling, or a tangy, worm filling.
-Is always served with mucus frosting-

==='Bone'ana Split===
Two raw, rotten pig bones placed in a cracked stone bowl from the Caveman Era! Includes your choice of frozen bile, or disease infested feces.

===Circular Surprise!===
A thick piece of dryed out chalk, stuffed and chilled with raw salmon.

...with blood frosting
...with extra fingernail sprinkles
...chef's special

===Assorted Danish===
(with blood frosting)

All employees:

Oasis Writer - Big Man, Foreseer of all things awesome, Virgin Hunter, Mafia King!

Wisp - Head Chef, Inventor of New and Brilliant Foods

Dephere - Waitress with a bright smile, Café Hermit, Assistant Manager

Titania - Corrupt Health Inspector, Waitress, Awesomous Dudette

Mr. Murder - Permanent Virgin...I mean trainee....yeah....

Apply as you see fit


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Last edited by Winterbite; 02-08-2009 at 04:39 PM.. Reason: Adding to the Menu :)
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