Thread: Another Bad Day
View Single Post
  #8  
Old 11-09-2017, 04:38 PM
Elenita (Offline)
Scribbler
Official Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 28
Thanks: 15
Thanks 3
Default

Originally Posted by Caligrafo View Post
This was an enjoyable read.

The only true critique I would give is that it seems as though the language is fighting too much with itself, at times the story is too formal and in others it’s too informal. You have a great balance with tone but not so much with the language.

Also a “noncrtique” I would give is to maybe give this piece a purpose besides being funny. I say noncritique because this is your writing and you can decide to give it meaning or not but sometimes giving reason to a piece can round out the edges in the characters and plot progression.

But overall I had a great time with this work, just wish I could care about it more.
-Caligrafo
Could you point out an example where the language switches between formal and informal so I can correct it?
Reply With Quote