Thread: Another Bad Day
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Old 11-04-2017, 01:50 AM
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fleamailman (Offline)
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("...nice read there, grips the readers nicely, though perhaps it would be more realistic if it were a knife instead, since any gunshot would hail attention as it were..." mentioned the goblin adding "...btw if you say that he was dragged into a basement and then mention that his head hit the street, it might break the flow somewhat...", in fact, the goblin felt that the time of day, the temperature too, and other such adjectives might have helped the reader envisage the scene more, but that was just him where someone else might not have been looking out for those background details there)
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