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Search: Posts Made By: KnightofCydonia
Forum: Fiction 10-13-2015, 02:51 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 548
Posted By KnightofCydonia
There are some minor grammar issues and...

There are some minor grammar issues and repetition - but in my humble opinion, those are the least of your problems with this piece.
Forum: Fiction 10-12-2015, 07:26 AM
Replies: 11
Views: 1,712
Posted By KnightofCydonia
This is a capable bit of work. I liked the way...

This is a capable bit of work. I liked the way you were able to summarize the factions within your universe in a snippet. That is highly encouraging. The dragon has to be resigned and...
Forum: Writers' Cafe 03-17-2014, 05:19 PM
Replies: 35
Views: 2,687
Posted By KnightofCydonia
Now there ... is an understatement if I ever saw...

Now there ... is an understatement if I ever saw one. :) A brutal 43 minutes of viewing that simmered to a boil just like the teapot in the opening scene. The lesson always being taught by this...
Forum: The Intellectual Table 03-07-2014, 05:46 PM
Replies: 425
Views: 31,461
Posted By KnightofCydonia
The Bitcoin thing is also quite interesting... if...

The Bitcoin thing is also quite interesting... if there is one thing you do not mess with, it's currencies.
Forum: Writing Help & Issues 03-02-2014, 05:09 AM
Replies: 18
Views: 2,167
Posted By KnightofCydonia
Right... I don't think there was enough...

Right... I don't think there was enough clarification... is this going to be in the same chapter? That would, in my opinion... be chaos. I don't see where having two first person points of view...
Forum: Character Clinics 03-02-2014, 05:02 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 3,516
Posted By KnightofCydonia
You've drunk all of your wives dry? If you are,...

You've drunk all of your wives dry? If you are, as you intimate, a vampire - why have you not turned any of them? It must be a burden, walking among all of us mere mortals - are there none of your...
Forum: Writers' Cafe 03-01-2014, 07:07 AM
Replies: 9,241
Views: 286,590
Posted By KnightofCydonia
Interpol - Success

Interpol - Success
Forum: Fiction 03-01-2014, 06:21 AM
Replies: 1
Views: 572
Posted By KnightofCydonia
Come... not came. Hangar... not hanger. Used......

Come... not came. Hangar... not hanger. Used... not use. An eleven page report for bureaucrats of any sort, is nothing... you'll have to come up with a more impressive number than that to make it...
Forum: Fiction 02-28-2014, 03:49 AM
Replies: 5
Views: 717
Posted By KnightofCydonia
Just wandered over here from members - and I saw...

Just wandered over here from members - and I saw this... I concur, much better... perhaps more intimate. I think I've figured out the issue with the other piece, it was a true story conveyed to you...
Forum: Introductions 02-27-2014, 04:33 AM
Replies: 8
Views: 666
Posted By KnightofCydonia
Welcome aboard :)

Welcome aboard :)
Forum: Non-Fiction 02-26-2014, 05:20 PM
Replies: 22
Views: 2,361
Posted By KnightofCydonia
I've had an incident or two involving "ghosts". ...

I've had an incident or two involving "ghosts". The only weird UFO experience I ever had was while walking my dog with my mother in law. We were just looking up at the winter sky and this star that...
Forum: Fiction 02-26-2014, 05:04 PM
Replies: 9
Views: 1,084
Posted By KnightofCydonia
You are most welcome... :)

You are most welcome... :)
Forum: Fiction 02-26-2014, 03:58 PM
Replies: 9
Views: 1,084
Posted By KnightofCydonia
My love of racing might bias my opinion, but I...

My love of racing might bias my opinion, but I quite liked this bit of writing. The back and forth between Jules and Clayton was a little syrupy but then the back and forth between young people that...
Forum: Fiction 02-26-2014, 09:26 AM
Replies: 11
Views: 964
Posted By KnightofCydonia
Twisted... but an entertaining quick read. :)

Twisted... but an entertaining quick read. :)
Forum: Fiction 02-26-2014, 09:15 AM
Replies: 12
Views: 1,063
Posted By KnightofCydonia
I'm not being "contentious". I expressed an...

I'm not being "contentious". I expressed an opinion. It stands. Honestly, had I known of the supposed publication of this piece I wouldn't have bothered to comment at all. Why bother? If it has...
Forum: Fiction 02-26-2014, 04:16 AM
Replies: 12
Views: 1,063
Posted By KnightofCydonia
If that was your intent, then you failed. An...

If that was your intent, then you failed. An angst ridden teen shows contempt for adults. A younger kid looks up to said angst ridden teen. There was no unique message here... at all. There was...
Forum: Fiction 02-25-2014, 02:51 PM
Replies: 12
Views: 1,063
Posted By KnightofCydonia
Was there a point to this, piece? If so, I'm...

Was there a point to this, piece? If so, I'm sorry, but I missed it. I think I preferred this story when I read it in junior high school... that was when I learned the world was full of phonies. I...
Forum: Fiction 01-21-2014, 04:23 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 689
Posted By KnightofCydonia
The idea may simply be too dense for the space...

The idea may simply be too dense for the space allotted.
Forum: Fiction 01-20-2014, 11:28 AM
Replies: 5
Views: 1,169
Posted By KnightofCydonia
Not much to really critique here. There are some...

Not much to really critique here. There are some issues such as comma use before dialogue. From a style standpoint, you made me smile... when I was younger and just starting to write, I thought I...
Forum: Fiction 01-20-2014, 10:22 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 839
Posted By KnightofCydonia
An intriguing read... an original concept. I...

An intriguing read... an original concept. I wholly appreciate that you did not dumb this down. Yes, it does come across as slightly obtuse... there is a bit of heavy lifting required by the...
Forum: Fiction 01-20-2014, 09:42 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 734
Posted By KnightofCydonia
A tad pretentious... in a mustache twirling way. ...

A tad pretentious... in a mustache twirling way. Reminiscent of Hannibal and his Jean Nate. I get the mood that is being created, the egotistical artist explaining his "method"... I just don't find...
Forum: Fiction 12-22-2013, 08:21 AM
Replies: 8
Views: 1,039
Posted By KnightofCydonia
Delmar makes great points. I rarely post here,...

Delmar makes great points. I rarely post here, but this interested me as it made mention of your desire to use first person. I am oft intrigued to know why it is that a writer seeks to put himself...
Forum: Fiction 04-14-2013, 06:22 AM
Replies: 12
Views: 1,603
Posted By KnightofCydonia
I don't know. I guess, I'm going to be in the...

I don't know. I guess, I'm going to be in the minority here, but I thought this was very clunky. What I mean by that is, the flow is lacking. The manipulation doesn't come across as believable. ...
Forum: Introductions 02-27-2013, 03:50 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 457
Posted By KnightofCydonia
There is much truth in what you say...

There is much truth in what you say fleamailman... I have had a lot of fun writing fiction within the confines of forum threads. You can break your story up, create it at your convenience and...
Forum: Introductions 02-26-2013, 02:38 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 457
Posted By KnightofCydonia
Hey all...

Just a weary traveler looking for a place to pull up a chair and spin a yarn or two. It's tough finding writing groups locally, so I hope that this is a place where I can immerse myself in the...
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