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Forum: Fiction 11-27-2013, 05:11 AM
Replies: 2
Views: 573
Posted By reggman99
Thanks Inkswell...I struggled with the end but it...

Thanks Inkswell...I struggled with the end but it always turned out to sappy. It didn't feel like the character I wanted to portray.
Forum: Fiction 11-26-2013, 09:52 PM
Replies: 2
Views: 573
Posted By reggman99
Haze Heat

***Trying to expand my comfort zones a little bit. Let me know what you think***

“Can I ask you a question, boy?”

It had been a long time since anyone had called him ‘boy’. The younger man...
Forum: Fiction 11-07-2013, 09:39 PM
Replies: 2
Views: 456
Posted By reggman99
Thanks Lewriter. I agree after rereading. I know...

Thanks Lewriter. I agree after rereading. I know what I set out to do, which is to tell a tale and reveal an alternate world through clues and context. I can see areas where there needs some...
Forum: Fiction 11-07-2013, 04:25 PM
Replies: 2
Views: 456
Posted By reggman99
If You Could...

****Very rough draft guys. Kicked It out today. Let me know if it's worth exploring.****


“Jodie, please! Please don’t do this, baby!”

Ron jogged along the sidewalk, keeping pace and...
Forum: Writers' Cafe 02-02-2012, 06:21 AM
Replies: 2
Views: 476
Posted By reggman99
Random Thought: Why do I like Dean Koontz

I honestly have no idea. 4 years ago i read one book and dint much care for his style. This year (well 2011) I read twelve of his stories. Anyone have any insights lol.
Forum: Fiction 02-02-2012, 06:13 AM
Replies: 17
Views: 1,836
Posted By reggman99
After reading the comments I realized that the...

After reading the comments I realized that the girlfriend had died, ha! guess I'm slow. I read it as though his former lover/wife/whomever had died...the one his heart belonged to, and the music he...
Forum: Fiction 12-12-2011, 08:49 AM
Replies: 8
Views: 1,088
Posted By reggman99
Thanks guys. I really appreciate it. Especially...

Thanks guys. I really appreciate it. Especially to CandraH a big thanks for the art critique. I don't really illustrate so I know my figures need work and I'm glad you pointed that out just for...
Forum: Fiction 12-12-2011, 06:45 AM
Replies: 8
Views: 1,088
Posted By reggman99
Thanks!! I hope she likes it. I intend to do one...

Thanks!! I hope she likes it. I intend to do one every year, hopefully getting better and more sophisticated (in art and story) as she grows. My 2 yr old got one too, but I didn't think you all...
Forum: Fiction 12-12-2011, 05:31 AM
Replies: 8
Views: 1,088
Posted By reggman99
An Illustrated Story

This is a little different guys. I wrote and illustrated a story for my daughter for christmas and can really use a critique on both art and story before I print, even if you are'nt an artist. I can...
Forum: Fiction 11-28-2011, 08:12 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 722
Posted By reggman99
I actually thought this was good, but I'll have...

I actually thought this was good, but I'll have to read again to explain why. Nothing really happened with the protagonist, but I really really wanted it too and i think that might be a reason why I...
Forum: Fiction 11-24-2011, 05:33 PM
Replies: 61
Views: 4,165
Posted By reggman99
Candra I wasn't dictating to you. Hope you don't...

Candra I wasn't dictating to you. Hope you don't take it that way. You are entitled to.be you of course. I was merely expressing my own observation on the matter. talking about your writing was just...
Forum: Fiction 11-23-2011, 09:59 AM
Replies: 61
Views: 4,165
Posted By reggman99
And since I am slightly sensitive myself, to...

And since I am slightly sensitive myself, to pre-empt an possible aggressive comeback from you, can I say you look wonderful today, your writing is superb, and my day is brighter everytime I see a...
Forum: Fiction 11-23-2011, 09:56 AM
Replies: 61
Views: 4,165
Posted By reggman99
Life lesson everyone. We respond more to TONE...

Life lesson everyone. We respond more to TONE than to content. CandraH, Wright is a new member. Your advice to him accurate, but your tone...well, perhaps it leaves one defensive and missing what...
Forum: Fiction 11-16-2011, 07:24 AM
Replies: 61
Views: 4,165
Posted By reggman99
I dunno if you like looking at other people's...

I dunno if you like looking at other people's work, but your post reminded me of a piece of flash fiction i enjoyed awhile ago. It took me forever to track it down but here it is. ...
Forum: Fiction 11-11-2011, 03:41 AM
Replies: 9
Views: 742
Posted By reggman99
I agree. I meant that he should stay bored while...

I agree. I meant that he should stay bored while everything else goes crazy around him. Either way I like it.
Forum: Fiction 11-11-2011, 03:32 AM
Replies: 12
Views: 833
Posted By reggman99
I would have to agree with hilee and disagree...

I would have to agree with hilee and disagree with my earlier post. I too like this and would call it much more than a slight edit. I wish you left the original for comparison. Much improved.
Forum: Fiction 11-10-2011, 08:01 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 1,000
Posted By reggman99
Some grammar issues, but interesting. I think I...

Some grammar issues, but interesting. I think I wish you wrote as much about Kim as Juan. She seems more the interesting to me. I likey.
Forum: Fiction 11-10-2011, 07:51 AM
Replies: 1
Views: 437
Posted By reggman99
I need to re-read this. I had an incredibly...

I need to re-read this. I had an incredibly difficult time working my way through this piece. I mean no offense whatsoever. I just did not understand what was going on. The writing had strange...
Forum: Fiction 11-10-2011, 07:40 AM
Replies: 12
Views: 833
Posted By reggman99
This reads like the bio from a companion guide to...

This reads like the bio from a companion guide to your novel. You TOLD me everything about Old Vern and SHOWED me nothing. I wasn't given the pleasure of discovering his personality or his life...
Forum: Fiction 11-10-2011, 07:26 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 722
Posted By reggman99
6th paragraph from the end is where I would have...

6th paragraph from the end is where I would have started this whole story, no offense. The paragraphs before it I would wrap up into one sentence such as "At 11 o'clock the lights went out."

I...
Forum: Fiction 11-10-2011, 07:07 AM
Replies: 9
Views: 742
Posted By reggman99
I liked this. I will respectfully disagree with...

I liked this. I will respectfully disagree with Hillee Coco when he says its a bit much. I think what holds it back is that it didn't go far enough. I too found it interesting that this man could...
Forum: Fiction 11-07-2011, 10:41 AM
Replies: 14
Views: 1,652
Posted By reggman99
Thanks everyone, but I agree Luxray. It was in no...

Thanks everyone, but I agree Luxray. It was in no way intended for a longer piece. I like short pieces that are open ended and stop to make me say, "I wonder what happened."
Forum: Fiction 11-04-2011, 06:52 AM
Replies: 2
Views: 739
Posted By reggman99
Hi Julingstar...Sorry you haven't got any...

Hi Julingstar...Sorry you haven't got any feedback on this. I'm skimming old posts to find ones without comment.

Well, I'll firt say I don't mean any offense whatsoever by my critique. It is pure...
Forum: Fiction 11-04-2011, 05:54 AM
Replies: 2
Views: 716
Posted By reggman99
You write well, and have a great storyteller...

You write well, and have a great storyteller flair but this to me was very hard to follow. I'm not against jumping perspectives, but it seemed to meander during the flying portions. I think the...
Forum: Fiction 11-04-2011, 05:43 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 977
Posted By reggman99
This type of fantasy tends to lend itself to...

This type of fantasy tends to lend itself to descritption. I don't often mind. But I have to CARE about SOMEONE in your story before I care about a world I know nothing about. I as a reader need to...
Showing results 1 to 25 of 70

 

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