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Forum: Poetry 08-28-2014, 02:05 AM
Replies: 0
She
Views: 476
Posted By JackStraw
She

She is strong when she's quiet.
She hums in her inlets.
Take a cab to find her beach.
Still it's a long reach.
Time wedges us from her.
Love stops at the red lights of words.
With my vehicle...
Forum: Poetry 07-28-2014, 11:43 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 573
Posted By JackStraw
Good stuff. I plan to revisit.

Good stuff. I plan to revisit.
Forum: Poetry 07-25-2014, 12:14 PM
Replies: 134
Views: 9,559
Posted By JackStraw
Funny poem.

Funny poem.
Forum: Poetry 07-23-2014, 09:41 PM
Replies: 70
Views: 3,438
Posted By JackStraw
I tried pffa for a bit. Check it out. They take...

I tried pffa for a bit. Check it out. They take the craft seriously.
Forum: Poetry 07-21-2014, 09:31 AM
Replies: 3
Views: 386
Posted By JackStraw
"Lately I been wantin babies, so I can see a part...

"Lately I been wantin babies, so I can see a part of me that wasn't always shady." -2pac

Had I swallowed that cockroach in my cup?
The deafening reproach
would blind me. - Maybe change THE to...
Forum: Poetry 07-20-2014, 12:54 PM
Replies: 70
Views: 3,438
Posted By JackStraw
You hit the nail on the head. Great writers are...

You hit the nail on the head. Great writers are also great readers.
Forum: Poetry 07-20-2014, 12:44 PM
Replies: 70
Views: 3,438
Posted By JackStraw
Not off hand. The poetry of a prisoner sings the...

Not off hand. The poetry of a prisoner sings the blues. It's found in the respite of laughter. In the letting go, in the acceptance of a punishment. I remember in my cell someone had scratched...
Forum: Poetry 07-20-2014, 12:38 PM
Replies: 70
Views: 3,438
Posted By JackStraw
I know you do, I've read your stuff. Those three...

I know you do, I've read your stuff. Those three lines I provided may belong to a short story instead of a poem. I'm just trying to steer someone out of the pages of a diary and into the hearts of...
Forum: Poetry 07-20-2014, 12:14 PM
Replies: 70
Views: 3,438
Posted By JackStraw
If you have enough tension in your piece, sure. ...

If you have enough tension in your piece, sure. What do you want me to do? Take a poll? How do you make someone feel what you are feeling? Unfortunately we can't be John Malkovich. So, we can...
Forum: Poetry 07-20-2014, 11:12 AM
Replies: 70
Views: 3,438
Posted By JackStraw
Coming from someone who has done some time; it...

Coming from someone who has done some time; it can't be that bad. Real jail cells stink, hurt, and starve. I've felt so hopeless just yearning for human touch and affection. Your poem reaches for...
Forum: Poetry 07-17-2014, 03:15 PM
Replies: 12
Views: 729
Posted By JackStraw
Okay, upon further reflection, I was wrong. You...

Okay, upon further reflection, I was wrong. You were right. I'm sorry. This is a workshop. If I want to participate I should take it more seriously. Don't mean to ruffle feathers. I respect...
Forum: Poetry 07-17-2014, 02:50 PM
Replies: 19
Views: 2,719
Posted By JackStraw
Great use of imagery. I can tell that you have...

Great use of imagery. I can tell that you have practiced. Some of it is clouded in abstraction. I wasn't sure what you were driving at. Which is cool. I believe poems should keep you re-reading...
Forum: Poetry 07-17-2014, 02:35 PM
Replies: 12
Views: 729
Posted By JackStraw
Nothing in life points to it being serious guys. ...

Nothing in life points to it being serious guys. Ease up a bit.. I said thank you. If you wanted to read something with more of a deliberate aim, I suggest Anne Sexton, Elizabeth Bishop, or Kenneth...
Forum: Poetry 07-16-2014, 12:03 AM
Replies: 12
Views: 729
Posted By JackStraw
Thanks for your comments. I sat with a blank...

Thanks for your comments. I sat with a blank screen and jotted down something cool if it came to mind. This poem has no real purpose other than to be a short walk that may or may not be remembered.
Forum: Poetry 07-16-2014, 12:01 AM
Replies: 3
Views: 484
Posted By JackStraw
haha, totally vibe with you man.

haha, totally vibe with you man.
Forum: Poetry 07-15-2014, 02:05 AM
Replies: 12
Views: 729
Posted By JackStraw
not quite sure

Subtle strokes of God bless me,
every whisper rests me
by my one true recipe,
years separate thee,
Photographers take us in the same strut
with different haircuts.
man, the years fly by and...
Forum: Poetry 07-15-2014, 01:29 AM
Replies: 8
Views: 801
Posted By JackStraw
Simple and to the point. Less is more as they...

Simple and to the point. Less is more as they say. I feel this way often, powerless to my destiny. That's a comforting and disconcerting feeling. talking about predestination, it's an absolute...
Forum: Poetry 06-01-2014, 01:24 AM
Replies: 1
Views: 404
Posted By JackStraw
a portrait of leo

a portrait of me,
winked, it glanced at me,
it seemed to say, 'you see
or perhaps you don't see.'
i can't tease,
a pattern of glee,
i'll be beneath your front porch tree,
in your hallway of...
Forum: Poetry 05-10-2014, 12:24 AM
Replies: 7
Views: 548
Posted By JackStraw
Woah! I like it rockman. A thousand miles to...

Woah! I like it rockman. A thousand miles to the same place exemplifies the problems I have with the consumer based economy. There's a want of personality. I love how you captured the feeling of...
Forum: Poetry 05-08-2014, 12:49 AM
Replies: 7
Views: 640
Posted By JackStraw
I enjoy poems that celebrate love because they...

I enjoy poems that celebrate love because they sidestep the well trodden path of a rejected love.

you have flow sir. i enjoyed the read but, only in the lighter parts of it. love is a fantastic...
Forum: Poetry 05-08-2014, 12:39 AM
Replies: 1
Views: 327
Posted By JackStraw
existence

look at the world,
breathtaking in its beauty,
resplendent in its might,
ferocious in its storms,
and tender in its nights!
You are of it, carousing, delighting,
rifting through its banks and...
Forum: Poetry 08-05-2013, 03:44 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 663
Posted By JackStraw
keep writing. loved the juxtaposition of a...

keep writing.

loved the juxtaposition of a human needing an oil change.
Forum: Poetry 03-01-2012, 12:51 PM
Replies: 2
Views: 378
Posted By JackStraw
Tears

Tears

Tenderly in the kitchen,
he kneads his tears into round,
ebbs pulsing faintly and slips a pinch
into the soup.

His streams are not the episodes of Nile,
winding around the night...
Forum: Poetry 02-21-2012, 08:18 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 456
Posted By JackStraw
Thank you! Thank you! I rewrote it: A...

Thank you! Thank you!

I rewrote it:

A dash of a glance, she stole it,
with her burlesque eyelids,
is plenty for this lone cowboy.
Simple, unplanned, yet infatuated I stand.

My sensibility...
Forum: The Library 02-21-2012, 06:22 PM
Replies: 3,739
Views: 298,249
Posted By JackStraw
Swann's Way by Marcel Proust, this man could...

Swann's Way by Marcel Proust, this man could write.
Showing results 1 to 25 of 393

 

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