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Forum: Poetry 04-13-2013, 12:00 PM
Replies: 2
Views: 377
Posted By TheCrookedPath
Earthbound Soul

I swear I saw her the other day
At one of the places I knew she’d haunt
Shining and weightless, there and gone
I spoke, but she didn’t seem to hear


I couldn’t touch her, anyway
Or hold my...
Forum: Previous Contests 04-01-2013, 07:31 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 3,979
Posted By TheCrookedPath
Thanks much to whoever voted for me! There were...

Thanks much to whoever voted for me! There were some great poems this time around.
Forum: Previous Contests 03-01-2013, 02:03 AM
Replies: 8
Views: 4,379
Posted By TheCrookedPath
Pretend It's Something Harder

It's just you and me tonight
Belly up and poor a double
Trussed up like a vodka tonic
Wishing still won't make it true

Shot of water, help a brother
Gonna keep my word tonight
Tell a lie my...
Forum: Poetry 12-22-2011, 12:36 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 807
Posted By TheCrookedPath
Thankyou! I'm in agreement...that looks better,...

Thankyou! I'm in agreement...that looks better, and it doesn't hurt the independence of the line. I've made the correction...it looks a bit more streamlined, now. :)
Forum: Poetry 12-21-2011, 09:09 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 807
Posted By TheCrookedPath
Thanks to you both for commenting! Nadja;...

Thanks to you both for commenting!

Nadja; I'm not certain where the best place to add "neither" might be. Were you thinking something like

"Vows with neither craft nor art"

Or am I...
Forum: Poetry 12-19-2011, 11:05 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 807
Posted By TheCrookedPath
Forever Tonight

Tonight the stars shall be a witness
Family in a sky of pews
The smiling moon officiates
This holiness tween me and you.

I’ll be your man, your thief of moments
Vows with neither craft nor...
Forum: Poetry 12-19-2011, 11:01 PM
Replies: 1
Views: 399
Posted By TheCrookedPath
That is a spectacular piece. I winced a little...

That is a spectacular piece. I winced a little when I first saw the length, but the narrative is gripping and the pace has an easy, conversational feel. This is a great little yarn you've spun. ...
Forum: Poetry 12-10-2011, 07:31 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 845
Posted By TheCrookedPath
I'm not worried about it, Mr. P. Bumps...

I'm not worried about it, Mr. P.

Bumps means that it will get read more. I am curious, however, as to what might set it apart from my other "rhymers", in the interest of making more quality...
Forum: Poetry 12-08-2011, 04:15 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 845
Posted By TheCrookedPath
Thanks, Grace! It's good to be seen. I...

Thanks, Grace! It's good to be seen. I struggled over the punctuation on this one, but I finally decided to leave it all out. I think it works.
Forum: Poetry 12-04-2011, 03:14 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 845
Posted By TheCrookedPath
Never (Not Ever)

I never took candy from people unknown
I’ve never gone in my folk’s basement alone
I never held forks near any wall sockets
I never stole cash from another man’s pockets

I never could say no...
Forum: Poetry 10-28-2011, 03:06 PM
Replies: 10
Views: 725
Posted By TheCrookedPath
I can't stop reading this one. I've puzzled...

I can't stop reading this one.

I've puzzled over the meaning of it for nearly an hour, and I have no doubt that I will return to it over the next few days. Wondering if it is a reference to...
Forum: Poetry 10-28-2011, 01:44 PM
Replies: 7
Views: 658
Posted By TheCrookedPath
Nadja, Firehill - I can't tell you how happy I am...

Nadja, Firehill - I can't tell you how happy I am to hear that kind of praise for my own work. Thanks so much!

I've posted a lot of poetry, but I think that only a few really shine. Here are my...
Forum: Poetry 10-26-2011, 01:00 PM
Replies: 7
Views: 658
Posted By TheCrookedPath
Thanks, Phyllis! I always wonder exactly how...

Thanks, Phyllis! I always wonder exactly how much of the idea gets across. It's good to know that I hit the mark, this time.
Forum: Poetry 10-25-2011, 08:36 PM
Replies: 7
Views: 658
Posted By TheCrookedPath
It Never Rains on Me

People are shadows,
Coming and leaving.
I lose each one daily,
Over again.

Changing the oxygen,
Canned air for breathing.
I miss one friend most,
The boy I was then.
Forum: Poetry 10-24-2011, 12:26 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 623
Posted By TheCrookedPath
I enjoyed this piece! It's a thought that is...

I enjoyed this piece! It's a thought that is hard to express, and it is well-put, couched nicely in the meter.

I have a question, though. the fourth stanza repeats the rhythm of the earlier...
Forum: Poetry 10-16-2011, 03:25 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 678
Posted By TheCrookedPath
KBR - I'm glad you enjoyed it. This was one that...

KBR - I'm glad you enjoyed it. This was one that I enjoyed writing, gloomy as it is.

Phyllis and Water - Thank you both for your help! The suggestions were solid, and I implemented...
Forum: Poetry 10-12-2011, 11:14 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 678
Posted By TheCrookedPath
Bridge to you

That way leads right into Downtown
Courthouses and banks
And beyond that
Our old school
A few right turns
From the apartment
The old bed we shared
And the car that we cursed happily
At each...
Forum: Poetry 07-31-2011, 10:15 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 532
Posted By TheCrookedPath
Concrete Angel

We'll always have the ribbon of sky
That we watched together, you and I.

Nothing more.

I don't wish to see the weight of you,
how if you were free, you'd crush me.

Your softened edges...
Forum: Poetry 07-30-2011, 10:38 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 770
Posted By TheCrookedPath
Well, I appreciate the comments muchly. I...

Well, I appreciate the comments muchly.

I was going for a sort of sing-song, children's book feel, but perhaps I missed the mark. I'll keep at it, and see what else I can offer.
Forum: Poetry 07-22-2011, 12:14 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 770
Posted By TheCrookedPath
Say "Hello"

A magic that the ancients knew,
An incantation known to few,
To exorcise what's haunting you,
And transmute one into a crew.

The sound voice was created for,
Makes sieges from your nightly...
Forum: Poetry 07-21-2011, 11:40 AM
Replies: 3
Views: 564
Posted By TheCrookedPath
Thankyou for reading. By "a little off", what do...

Thankyou for reading. By "a little off", what do you mean? Does the play on words seem unintentional, or do you feel that the rhymes in the last stanza need to switch places in order to have...
Forum: Poetry 07-18-2011, 04:20 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 564
Posted By TheCrookedPath
Smitten

Bolt of Cupid, stopped me cold.
When she spoke, she drove it deeper.
Some would say that it was fate;
I just knew I’d found a keeper.

Bolt of Cupid, kill me not.
Wound me, make it hard to...
Forum: Writers' Cafe 07-14-2011, 03:19 AM
Replies: 7,466
Please Read: The Coffee Shop
Views: 217,856
Posted By TheCrookedPath
You know? The meat shake doesn't sound...

You know?

The meat shake doesn't sound bad at all...
Forum: Poetry 07-14-2011, 01:47 AM
Replies: 9
Views: 729
Posted By TheCrookedPath
Wow! As always, your rhymes are damn near...

Wow!
As always, your rhymes are damn near spot-on. I could see this being a popular drinking song when the pub talk waxes politic...assuming you could get that many drunks to remember that many...
Forum: Fiction 07-13-2011, 11:54 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 1,134
Posted By TheCrookedPath
I feel what you're saying, Rabbit, but you can...

I feel what you're saying, Rabbit, but you can see my problem. If I'm to sequel the first, I want to stop treating these like separate stories, and start treating it like a serial.

My idea was to...
Showing results 1 to 25 of 119

 

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