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Search: Posts Made By: Oughie
Forum: Scripts 09-04-2016, 07:22 AM
Replies: 2
Views: 3,423
Posted By Oughie
Looking for a Reading Buddy

Ahoy hoy!

I'm looking for a writer in the same position as myself. I have several screenplays of varying length that I want a writer's opinion of that isn't myself. A fresh set of eyes if you...
Forum: Fiction 01-13-2015, 02:50 AM
Replies: 7
Views: 1,588
Posted By Oughie
Much like max crash and Lotus Kid, I think you've...

Much like max crash and Lotus Kid, I think you've gone OTT with the detail. If shortened by 100 words or so it'd be better - I used to have the same problem and so now I give myself a word limit when...
Forum: Fiction 05-15-2014, 12:49 AM
Replies: 2
Views: 442
Posted By Oughie
It's alright. 358 words on a topic such as this...

It's alright. 358 words on a topic such as this isn't very much. Although an interesting concept, as we haven't really learnt much about the principle character and the direction of the story it's...
Forum: Fiction 05-14-2014, 12:41 AM
Replies: 7
Views: 697
Posted By Oughie
I really followed this. I love the twist at the...

I really followed this. I love the twist at the end when you find out that the principle character is actually a bird. That works really well. Equally I was captivated by how easily it flowed and so...
Forum: Fiction 05-11-2014, 06:50 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 500
Posted By Oughie
Haha, I honestly did not realise I banged on...

Haha, I honestly did not realise I banged on about that point so much. Believe it or not I cut that paragraph down for the same reason in a periodical edit. I will keep that in mind for when I go...
Forum: Fiction 05-11-2014, 04:33 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 500
Posted By Oughie
The Cafe - 700 words, bad language.

Although this piece stands alone, for those who have read my other piece, The Second Interview, on the members only page - a little background is in order. Winter has got the job as a detective and...
Forum: Fiction 05-10-2014, 01:05 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 403
Posted By Oughie
Cheers anothereader. This piece is a short that I...

Cheers anothereader. This piece is a short that I am planning on incorporating into a much larger story I am working on and so I didn't write it with a title in mind. Then when posting this I decided...
Forum: Fiction 05-10-2014, 10:04 AM
Replies: 9
Views: 1,053
Posted By Oughie
I enjoyed this. It made me smile in an odd sort...

I enjoyed this. It made me smile in an odd sort of way. I wouldn't change anything already written but I might add something before the Hello Harry.
Perhaps an instruction from the TomTom that he...
Forum: Fiction 05-10-2014, 03:11 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 403
Posted By Oughie
Cheers sdenyer! I like it better myself today -...

Cheers sdenyer! I like it better myself today - must've just been overtired and grumpy last night :P.
Forum: Writers' Cafe 05-10-2014, 03:09 AM
Replies: 11
Views: 822
Posted By Oughie
Haha, afraid not. I often just turn my iTunes to...

Haha, afraid not. I often just turn my iTunes to shuffle and let it be - and I have a pretty large collection of heavy metal buried in there from my teenage years.
Forum: Fiction 05-09-2014, 01:03 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 403
Posted By Oughie
I think our car thief’s just become a murderer.

824 word excerpt of something I'm working on. I'm not entirely happy with it but my brain doesn't feel like functioning so I'm open to criticism on it before I revisit this later. Be as harsh or as...
Forum: Writers' Cafe 05-09-2014, 06:26 AM
Replies: 11
Views: 822
Posted By Oughie
So long as it's turned down low, I can listen to...

So long as it's turned down low, I can listen to almost anything while reading - but I have to be in the mood.
Forum: Fiction 05-09-2014, 04:59 AM
Replies: 2
Views: 420
Posted By Oughie
Hi zara. While I was reading this, even before I...

Hi zara. While I was reading this, even before I got to the end I guessed that it was going to be a jealous sister. I don't have any real critique for this, and as you want comments and not...
Forum: Prompts & Challenges 05-09-2014, 04:42 AM
Replies: 25
Views: 8,730
Posted By Oughie
Dinosaurs were bad. Evil even. And so to get rid...

Dinosaurs were bad. Evil even. And so to get rid of them and to please the Crocodiles, a battle royale was held. Each dinosaur of the same species fought until only one remained, then the winner of...
Forum: Fiction 05-09-2014, 12:41 AM
Replies: 13
Views: 1,062
Posted By Oughie
I like the way this is written, it lets the...

I like the way this is written, it lets the reader know immediately that we aren't starting at this character's "beginning" but he has a history that if you continue with this, I assume we will learn...
Forum: Fiction 05-07-2014, 11:03 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 584
Posted By Oughie
Nice, self contained little short. I like the...

Nice, self contained little short. I like the analogy with riding on a swing - not only is it probably accurate but it is one that is pretty much universally known, almost everyone has memories of...
Forum: Fiction 05-07-2014, 12:21 AM
Replies: 1
Views: 406
Posted By Oughie
Hi littlemel! I didn't see many mistakes in this,...

Hi littlemel! I didn't see many mistakes in this, you could maybe re-word one or two sentences but apart from that I have no criticisms. It's the last paragraph that really intrigues me. I would read...
Forum: Fiction 05-02-2014, 06:34 AM
Replies: 3
Views: 699
Posted By Oughie
I enjoyed this. I like how much detail you gave...

I enjoyed this. I like how much detail you gave the weapon. I know less than nothing about guns so knowing exactly what it was capable of before it took the man's head off was good for me otherwise I...
Forum: Fiction 05-01-2014, 01:44 AM
Replies: 34
Views: 2,078
Posted By Oughie
I enjoyed this immensely. I loved how much humour...

I enjoyed this immensely. I loved how much humour you got out of a quite morbid topic!
Forum: Fiction 05-01-2014, 12:41 AM
Replies: 2
Views: 358
Posted By Oughie
Hi LacyWriter, this sounds like the start of...

Hi LacyWriter, this sounds like the start of something really exciting and something I would genuinely like to read more of but there are mistakes. Lots of little mistakes that an edit would cure,...
Forum: Fiction 04-29-2014, 07:18 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 492
Posted By Oughie
Hi HarperGoldstein, my first thought even before...

Hi HarperGoldstein, my first thought even before I read this was you should structure this better - i.e. put a space between each person speaking and break up the block of text a bit.
My next...
Forum: Fiction 04-29-2014, 12:35 AM
Replies: 14
Views: 966
Posted By Oughie
Nice! The way you wrote this made me think she...

Nice! The way you wrote this made me think she was a vampire or something similar so when she turned out to be a mosquito I was pleasantly surprised. To me it reads complete - like there won't be...
Forum: Fiction 04-28-2014, 12:14 AM
Replies: 3
Views: 342
Posted By Oughie
This proves you really can write about anything -...

This proves you really can write about anything - and I mean that in a good way, please don't think I'm being sarcastic. I enjoyed this, it feels like it could be the opening paragraph of something...
Forum: Fiction 04-22-2014, 03:15 AM
Replies: 3
Views: 500
Posted By Oughie
JustcallmeEd, I think you're right. It needs a...

JustcallmeEd, I think you're right. It needs a little re-edit in some areas. I should probably watch more Police Interceptor TV shows. :P
Forum: Fiction 04-21-2014, 03:52 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 500
Posted By Oughie
The chase - roughly 1200 words

This is the prologue of a work in progress I'm still planning. Couple of uses of bad language. Please let me what you think, be as harsh or otherwise as you like and as usual, thanks for reading :)....
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