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Forum: Poetry 12-01-2017, 08:09 AM
Replies: 3
Views: 180
Posted By eripiomundus
I fully expected to see the poem read: This...

I fully expected to see the poem read:

This is my love poem
there are many like it but this one is mine...
Forum: The Intellectual Table 12-01-2017, 08:04 AM
Replies: 107
Views: 2,973
Posted By eripiomundus
"Conspiracy theorist" is, of course, a perfectly...

"Conspiracy theorist" is, of course, a perfectly reasonable term. It denotes someone who theorises a conspiracy. Theorise is akin to hypothesize, with a little more weight, and conspiracy just...
Forum: Writers' Cafe 12-01-2017, 07:39 AM
Replies: 3
Views: 288
Posted By eripiomundus
Sorry it took so long to reply to this. ...

Sorry it took so long to reply to this.

Here's my take on time travel.

To understand time travel we first have to consider time itself. What is it? The answer I give might at first seem...
Forum: Fiction 12-01-2017, 06:43 AM
Replies: 8
Views: 278
Posted By eripiomundus
Thanks for taking the time Jakuper1. I'm...

Thanks for taking the time Jakuper1.

I'm not sure whether you read Brianpatrick's posts above, but I tend to agree with him in that I dislike when a book feeds me the set and setting up front. I...
Forum: Poetry 12-01-2017, 06:28 AM
Replies: 5
Views: 295
Posted By eripiomundus
True. The rhyme is definitely cheap, but those...

True. The rhyme is definitely cheap, but those lines fall on an emphasis point in the song and it kind of lessens the cheapness due to phonetic reiteration. I'm tempted to post a recording to show...
Forum: Poetry 12-01-2017, 06:05 AM
Replies: 29
Views: 1,238
Posted By eripiomundus
Really nice. Strong, strong, finish - so much...

Really nice. Strong, strong, finish - so much conveyed in so few words. One of those endings so rich with meaning you just have to pause to let it soak in. Two lines tripped me:

"At peace now at...
Forum: Fiction 11-23-2017, 08:22 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 278
Posted By eripiomundus
Thanks for commenting anna. I think...

Thanks for commenting anna.



I think you're probably right. In addition to that, the dialogue of Amar at the start is too much force-feeding of the plotline. It's not natural at all, so I'll...
Forum: Poetry 11-22-2017, 10:00 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 295
Posted By eripiomundus
I totally understand - You can't get the rhythm...

I totally understand - You can't get the rhythm because there is none. If you imagine taking a famous solo, say the one from stairway to heaven, then singing some lyrics to the tune of the solo...
Forum: Fiction 11-22-2017, 09:54 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 230
Posted By eripiomundus
That's the catch - people don't want to spend the...

That's the catch - people don't want to spend the time catching up the whole story, and at the same time don't want to step into the story half-way through.

Don't let it discourage. Application...
Forum: Poetry 11-22-2017, 09:49 PM
Replies: 18
Boy
Views: 376
Posted By eripiomundus
Sorry kev, I wasn't clear in what I said. When I...

Sorry kev, I wasn't clear in what I said. When I said "longer" I was referring to the last line rather than the entire poem. Also, I was wrong on a couple of points - I do think the culmination of...
Forum: Fiction 11-21-2017, 06:12 AM
Replies: 8
Views: 278
Posted By eripiomundus
A start

Amar bestirred in embers. Surprise was Auden's - Amar was never angry. Was never anything.

"No more about the fucking neuromancers! I was there when the e-field birthed and the tweeny masters...
Forum: Introductions 11-21-2017, 04:34 AM
Replies: 2
Views: 165
Posted By eripiomundus
Welcome aboard. Hope you find the place...

Welcome aboard. Hope you find the place comfortable and make some friends.
Forum: Introductions 11-21-2017, 04:13 AM
Replies: 8
Views: 441
Posted By eripiomundus
Welcome to the forum Fleamailman. Getting cold in...

Welcome to the forum Fleamailman. Getting cold in Switzerland around now I guess. Bern? Zurich? From whence doth thou hail?
Forum: Writing Help & Issues 11-21-2017, 04:07 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 719
Posted By eripiomundus
Well said. For me a good plot doesn't feel...

Well said.

For me a good plot doesn't feel like a plot at all. A plot is a plan, after all, and real life doesn't usually unfold according to plans. Little details that are random or unrelated to...
Forum: Fiction 11-21-2017, 03:52 AM
Replies: 5
Views: 230
Posted By eripiomundus
I can't speak for everyone, but: this is good...

I can't speak for everyone, but: this is good writing. Not really my personal cup of tea, but not bad all the same, and I suspect the only reason more people aren't commenting is that they're like...
Forum: Introductions 11-21-2017, 02:07 AM
Replies: 2
Views: 190
Posted By eripiomundus
Welcome aboard. Look forward to chatting.

Welcome aboard. Look forward to chatting.
Forum: Poetry 11-21-2017, 12:20 AM
Replies: 18
Boy
Views: 376
Posted By eripiomundus
Really good poem. Has an effortless rhythm and a...

Really good poem. Has an effortless rhythm and a nice message. I like the last line as a stand-alone, as a piece of poetry, but I feel as if making it a little longer would satisfy the rhythm a...
Forum: Poetry 11-20-2017, 11:26 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 295
Posted By eripiomundus
The Lagoon (song)

Firstly, apologies for being lax with critiques. Haven't been around much for a while, and I feel a bit guilty posting work for critique when I have been contributing to the community.

I was...
Forum: The Intellectual Table 10-30-2017, 05:55 AM
Replies: 112
Views: 2,013
Posted By eripiomundus
What would I say? I'd say that you've only...

What would I say? I'd say that you've only provided more opinion and not evidence, as per your established standard throughout this discussion.


As you say yourself - a dozen more "opinions"....
Forum: The Intellectual Table 10-28-2017, 07:26 PM
Replies: 112
Views: 2,013
Posted By eripiomundus
Psychiatrists aren't fools. They have to have...

Psychiatrists aren't fools. They have to have completed a medical degree prior to becoming psychiatrists. Medicine is heavy on science - you have to get high scores in physics, chemistry and biology...
Forum: The Intellectual Table 10-27-2017, 10:24 AM
Replies: 112
Views: 2,013
Posted By eripiomundus
No, you're not getting it. You are starting from...

No, you're not getting it. You are starting from the presumption that people with depression are faking it. Why would anyone fake a debilitating psychic illness? To get antidepressants? They're only...
Forum: The Intellectual Table 10-26-2017, 11:19 PM
Replies: 32
Views: 800
Posted By eripiomundus
"Let go of the raft" Not sure what you...

"Let go of the raft"

Not sure what you mean.
Forum: The Intellectual Table 10-26-2017, 06:41 PM
Replies: 32
Views: 800
Posted By eripiomundus
Years ago I tried to make a definition of love...

Years ago I tried to make a definition of love that encompassed all aspects of it, and I think I got close:

Love is the expansion of the sense of self to encompass another.

All those things...
Forum: The Intellectual Table 10-26-2017, 06:16 PM
Replies: 112
Views: 2,013
Posted By eripiomundus
When I mention that chronic depression causes...

When I mention that chronic depression causes physical differences in the brain you ignore me, so what I am supposed to say? It doesn't seem to matter to you when I put forth concrete scientific...
Forum: The Intellectual Table 10-25-2017, 10:02 PM
Replies: 55
Views: 904
Posted By eripiomundus
Communism dangerous? Hardly. If you take the time...

Communism dangerous? Hardly. If you take the time to read Commuinist literature you'll see they're only seeking greater equality. That's hardly dangerous unless you happen to be of the wealthy...
Showing results 1 to 25 of 409

 

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