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Search: Posts Made By: Waterpoor
Forum: Fiction 06-28-2012, 02:17 PM
Replies: 24
Views: 983
Posted By Waterpoor
Grace, thanks for your comments. They mean a lot....

Grace, thanks for your comments. They mean a lot.

Robert
Forum: Fiction 06-27-2012, 10:57 AM
Replies: 24
Views: 983
Posted By Waterpoor
A big thanks to Rising Sun Rooster Smith ...

A big thanks to
Rising Sun
Rooster Smith
mnorris1188
Judith
for the reads and comments. Know that I consider them all.
Robert
Forum: Fiction 06-23-2012, 12:09 PM
Replies: 24
Views: 983
Posted By Waterpoor
Andy Mitchell luckyme aptos and ink, ...

Andy Mitchell
luckyme
aptos
and ink,

Thanks to each of you for the comments. Keeps me working harder.

Robert
Forum: Fiction 06-23-2012, 07:26 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 393
Posted By Waterpoor
wow!

John, I am very impressed with this. My only suggestion is that a bit of conversation would enhance the characters and further draw the reader into the storyline.

Great job!

R.
Forum: Fiction 06-23-2012, 07:13 AM
Replies: 8
Views: 474
Posted By Waterpoor
SquarePi, this is some pretty good writing. Your...

SquarePi, this is some pretty good writing. Your descriptions are good but sometimes your similes and metaphor get in the way of smooth reading. Don't use them just for the sake of fancy writing. Use...
Forum: Fiction 06-20-2012, 06:56 PM
Replies: 24
Views: 983
Posted By Waterpoor
Odonne, thanks for the read and comments. They...

Odonne, thanks for the read and comments. They keep me on my toes.

R.
Forum: Fiction 06-20-2012, 05:22 PM
Replies: 17
Views: 695
Posted By Waterpoor
Front and Center, this is nicely written though...

Front and Center, this is nicely written though it seems a little dense, to much happening too quickly. Tight writing is good but can sometimes become weighty and hard to follow. I would like to see...
Forum: Fiction 06-20-2012, 05:13 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 365
Posted By Waterpoor
Maidahl, this is an interesting piece that...

Maidahl, this is an interesting piece that perhaps needs some development. Your point would be stronger with more background. As it stands it seems detached and airy. Maybe start the story at an...
Forum: Fiction 06-20-2012, 05:05 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 327
Posted By Waterpoor
It's obvious you put some work into your writing....

It's obvious you put some work into your writing. I suspect this story was built around a plot that came to you in an assembled way. Great way to get a story.

Your writing is stiff. I don't think...
Forum: Fiction 06-20-2012, 04:39 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 354
Posted By Waterpoor
Ink, Your writing is fast maturing. This is...

Ink,

Your writing is fast maturing. This is a well written piece. Two little things. In the first paragraph you have rain beating on "the old bus shelter."

Old doesn't really lend itself to...
Forum: Fiction 06-19-2012, 07:07 PM
Replies: 24
Views: 983
Posted By Waterpoor
Again, thanks to all.

Nick Pierce---A skunk sat on a stump. The skunk thought the stump stunk-the stump thought the skunk stunk!

I really appreciate the comments. Thanks again!

R.
Forum: Fiction 06-19-2012, 05:41 PM
Replies: 24
Views: 983
Posted By Waterpoor
Thanks

Thanks to each for you for your time and comments. Always useful and always considered.

r.
Forum: Fiction 06-19-2012, 07:02 AM
Replies: 24
Views: 983
Posted By Waterpoor
The Veteran

(I would like to apologize to my fellow writers for my lack of postings. I plead advanced age and a busy life but more likely a lack of priority. This site has helped me immensely and I will delve...
Forum: Fiction 05-30-2012, 08:27 AM
Replies: 11
Views: 498
Posted By Waterpoor
Thanks

Just want to say thanks for all the useful comments. Have had to take a break but hope I'm back. I will have time to look at your work with a little luck. Sorry for the slow response. Again...
Forum: Fiction 05-22-2012, 12:52 PM
Replies: 11
Views: 498
Posted By Waterpoor
War and Peaches

War and Peaches

Vague pictures flitted through his mind like hungry flies.The scenes were mostly of home, fishing with his Dad, his Mom yelling because his room was a mess, Nancy Flayburn in...
Forum: Poetry 04-11-2012, 09:44 AM
Replies: 9
Views: 471
Posted By Waterpoor
Loz and Emerson, just want you to know I...

Loz and Emerson, just want you to know I appreciate the reads and comments. The best chance I have of improving my skills.

Emerson, am particularly grateful for your knowledge of poetic...
Forum: Poetry 04-04-2012, 05:16 PM
Replies: 2
Views: 226
Posted By Waterpoor
I am loathe to believe it was an entire day. Good...

I am loathe to believe it was an entire day. Good job.

Yo Pa
Forum: Poetry 04-02-2012, 09:43 AM
Replies: 9
Views: 471
Posted By Waterpoor
chica Nadia Redlorrey Nadja iDrew ...

chica
Nadia
Redlorrey
Nadja
iDrew

Thanks to each of you for the reads and comments. Always very helpful.

R
Forum: Poetry 03-28-2012, 01:26 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 335
Posted By Waterpoor
I like ---I will chant my sorrow into the...

I like ---I will chant my sorrow into the night--- A good poem!

R.
Forum: Poetry 03-27-2012, 03:28 PM
Replies: 9
Views: 471
Posted By Waterpoor
Where Two Have Walked

Where Two Have Walked

Our feet, side by side have walked the earth
from golden dawn to pastel eve,
‘neath rainbows, traipsed ‘cross muddy fields,
through pain, discomfort,

hand in hand and...
Forum: Poetry 03-27-2012, 03:20 PM
Replies: 1
Views: 155
Posted By Waterpoor
I'm having trouble with S2L3. Can't quite get its...

I'm having trouble with S2L3. Can't quite get its meaning.

R.
Forum: Poetry 03-27-2012, 03:17 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 316
Posted By Waterpoor
Witty R.

Witty

R.
Forum: Poetry 03-27-2012, 03:15 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 321
Posted By Waterpoor
And only you will know how well it worked. R.

And only you will know how well it worked.

R.
Forum: Poetry 03-27-2012, 03:13 PM
Replies: 2
Views: 200
Posted By Waterpoor
---expressed in obsidian--- A nice line. Nice...

---expressed in obsidian--- A nice line. Nice piece.

R.
Forum: Poetry 03-27-2012, 03:11 PM
Replies: 1
Views: 270
Posted By Waterpoor
Love it! Love it! Love it! R.

Love it! Love it! Love it!

R.
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