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Search: Posts Made By: Jade Church
Forum: Fiction 07-23-2009, 11:46 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 881
Posted By Jade Church
Thanks. And I agree it is a bit long winded, but...

Thanks. And I agree it is a bit long winded, but most of this was written in one sitting with no proof reading.. sort of a stream of consciousness. That's why I wanted editing. But I also have to say...
Forum: Fiction 07-21-2009, 08:43 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 881
Posted By Jade Church
if anyone would like to give me some comments I...

if anyone would like to give me some comments I would really appreciate it
:-)
Forum: Fiction 07-20-2009, 11:25 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 881
Posted By Jade Church
yep...

yep...
Forum: Fiction 07-20-2009, 02:11 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 881
Posted By Jade Church
no regrets (2,701 words)

No regrets


There is always a reason for the things we do. Sometimes when asked, a person might say "I'm not sure why I did what I did." Maybe they don't know the reason, but there was one....
Forum: Fiction 07-20-2009, 11:32 AM
Replies: 17
Views: 1,369
Posted By Jade Church
I think that limiting the amount of information...

I think that limiting the amount of information given to Silas by the voice would make the reader more interested in what is happening. For example, the information about the invasion etc etc.... it...
Forum: Fiction 07-20-2009, 08:46 AM
Replies: 7
Views: 741
Posted By Jade Church
Thanks for the help. And thanks for reading it in...

Thanks for the help. And thanks for reading it in it's full length all at one time :-)
Forum: Fiction 07-19-2009, 08:19 PM
Replies: 7
Views: 741
Posted By Jade Church
is it possible to change the title of this thread...

is it possible to change the title of this thread so that it reads 2,861 words instead??
Forum: Fiction 07-19-2009, 07:40 PM
Replies: 7
Views: 741
Posted By Jade Church
thanks for the info... what do you suggest? is it...

thanks for the info... what do you suggest? is it something I should post in several parts??? thanks
Forum: Fiction 07-19-2009, 06:42 PM
Replies: 7
Views: 741
Posted By Jade Church
Felix (2,861 words)

Okay this is the first part. Edited for length

Felix

I met Felix a few months after my wife had left me. I had moved into my own apartment and most of my possessions were still boxed up. I came...
Forum: Poetry 07-14-2009, 05:46 PM
Replies: 7
Views: 1,321
Posted By Jade Church
thanks so much for the help guys... I will...

thanks so much for the help guys... I will definitely take it all into account
Forum: Poetry 07-13-2009, 06:33 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 11,141
Posted By Jade Church
I will agree with the previous poster who said it...

I will agree with the previous poster who said it sounds more like a prose.... it lacks a lyrical or "musical" quality. It needs more rhythm in my opinion. However, it does contain good content.
Forum: Poetry 07-13-2009, 06:31 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 1,418
Posted By Jade Church
I like the mental state you are representing in...

I like the mental state you are representing in this poem. Good job
Forum: Poetry 07-13-2009, 01:44 PM
Replies: 7
Views: 1,321
Posted By Jade Church
Thanks so much for the positive criticism :-)

Thanks so much for the positive criticism :-)
Forum: Poetry 07-12-2009, 06:22 PM
Replies: 7
Views: 1,321
Posted By Jade Church
returning home empty handed (poem)

Hi guys. I'm new to the site. I've been writing for a few years now. I have only recently become serious about it. I'm new to the site, and pretty new to poetry. So, I thought I would get some...
Forum: Fiction 07-12-2009, 06:18 PM
Replies: 31
Views: 1,212
Posted By Jade Church
I will agree that I am not a fan of over...

I will agree that I am not a fan of over explanation. I like being able to form my own opinion. Reading and writing is subjective in that way.
Forum: Previous Contests 07-12-2009, 06:13 PM
Replies: 20
Views: 1,980
Posted By Jade Church
good work :-)

good work :-)
Forum: Previous Contests 06-07-2009, 02:22 AM
Replies: 14
Views: 2,523
Posted By Jade Church
Farewell my love I wish you the best ...

Farewell my love
I wish you the best


Farewell my love
it's my time to finally rest


Severed our ties with glassy eyes
a lump in my throat, I'll swallow it down
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