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-   -   maybe just maybe (http://forums.writersbeat.com/showthread.php?t=39302)

Ryan. 07-06-2012 12:05 PM

maybe just maybe
 
Say what you like about people in general
But, for me as a whole, they could be better
They're nasty and mean
They cheat and they steal
They look at you crossly for no reason at all
Or they smile and nod, wait and say goodbye
Then spit on your back
And kick dirt in your eye

They won't wait for you, if you're falling behind
They'll snicker and snear instead
Point and laugh as someone takes a dollar from their pocket
And holds it over your head
Make you jump up and down
Through hoops they've brought along
Next make him sing, make him sing us a song

They've all been like this
I guess
Since I've been on my own
Mean and Nasty
Tall and sinister
Hearts made of stone

Except for that one man
He helped me out
Stopped his car on a bridge
Late one Autumn night
He took my hand
Talked to me a while
He told me things could always get better
And that hope should hold out
No matter what

And there was that kid
In the park as a sat and wrote
Crying on paper
She was so young
And cute
As she toddled over
She gave me a sticker
Just because I was there
And she had one

Then again there was that time
Lost and alone
Really lost and really alone
Wandering the dark streets of Chicago
An old black woman drove up
In this big automobile
A big grey buick
And she gave me a ride
We didn't say much

And I guess that same trip to Chicago
After my brother'd died
People came from all over
They hugged me and kissed me
Held my head in the moments I cried
There were a few
They told me he loved me, that they did too
But people get like that around death
Don't they?

And then there was that time at the clinic
When my girlfriend just couldn't do it
We didn't have any money
We were kind of stuck either way
I couldn't find a job
She couldn't work
And as we walked in the door
People threw insults at her
And at me

But this brave little nurse
She came from inside
Took both our hands and led us in
She took care of us
Told us that sometimes things happened
That choices and life are hard
She sat with us
The whole time
And didn't judge

So maybe there are a few people out there
That make up for the rest of us
A few people that care
A few people that will pick up a stranger in the rain
On a dark city street in chicago
And take them home
Or give to you without taking back
Catch you, or pick you up
As you fall

As a whole, I guess
People may not be so bad
After all

SadLoner 07-07-2012 12:00 AM

I can't give any critique that's gonna actually help you with the flow,structure,etc. as i'm myself standing on the threshold of poetry and its intricacies.I liked the concept-it's not exactly new,but good.


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